White Saturday

Central Alabama is getting its first significant snowfall since 2000, and hubby and I are enjoying a quiet and relaxed day of the white stuff. Behold. To the left are our cars, Betsy and Gladys. Interestingly, the snow on the Bug's hood has slipped to the ground, but Gladys' hood rendered a bounty of clean snow for making snow cream. I used Michelle Malkin's recipe but substituted evaporated milk for the regular milk. Even better!

I am now threatening to break out the cocoa, evap milk, cinnamon and cayenne for some righteous Mexican-style hot chocolate, and hubby is very happy about this.

UPDATE: The hot chocolate is a hit! Here's the recipe:

In a coffee mug, combine
- 1 T plus 1/4 tsp. sugar
- 3 tsp. cocoa powder
- pinch of salt

Meanwhile, microwave 1 cup of evaporated milk on high for 1 minute or until hot but not scalding. Pour the heated milk into the mug, stirring briskly to combine the dry ingredients with the milk.

Add freshly ground cinnamon, fresly ground nutmeg and cayenne pepper powder to taste. Finish with a dash of vanilla extract.

Que delicioso!

The GGB 10-second roundup of last night's GOP forum

Fred -- rules.
Mitt -- plastic.
Giuliani -- sharp.
McCain -- irritating.
Huckabee -- nauseating.
Ron Paul supporters holding up signs outside the focus group -- trolls.

Just one thought on the Iowa Caucus

Tonight -- just for tonight -- I like Barack Obama. Because he kicked Hillary's butt. And he made a helluva speech. And I can't stand Huckabee.














Pwned!

Methinks the lady doth protest too much

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the latest inductee into the 15 Minutes Hall of Fame: Jane Doe of the "Rock My World" commercial fame. Here's the story on Fox News, and here's the video of the jewelry ad that Jane Doe claims made her look pornographic without her consent. (She's suing for $5 mil, saying it has tarnished her "wholesome" image.) Please note, the video is somewhat NSFW.

Hmmm, let's see ....

Lacy nightie? Check.
Red satin sheets? Check.
Writhing? Check.
Stroking the face? Check.
Heavy breathing? Check.

As an astute commenter on YouTube said, "I can see why she's upset. The director just asked her to act like she's playing tennis."

No wonder he kept it a secret so long

Singer Neil Diamond has just revealed the inspiration for his hit "Sweet Caroline" -- none other than Caroline Kennedy, daughter of the late JFK. "It was a picture of a little girl dressed to the nines in her riding gear, next to her pony," Diamond recalled. "It was such an innocent, wonderful picture, I immediately felt there was a song in there."

That would be ... uh ... sweet, but let's review the evidence:

Neil Diamond is 66.
Caroline Kennedy is 50.
The song was written 40 years ago, which means Diamond would have been 26 and Kennedy 10.
The song contains lyrics such as:

Hands, touchin hands
Reachin out
Touchin me
Touchin you

And ...

But now I
Look at the night
And it dont seem so lonely
We fill it up with only two
And when I hurt
Hurtin runs off my shoulders
How can I hurt when Im with you

Does anyone else besides me find this a little creepy??? Now I'm not going to be able to hear that song without thinking of ... never mind.

I guess I should blog again

Hey, folks. GGB here. A friend of mine with a three-year-old and a newborn is showing me out by blogging almost daily, so I figured it was high time to get my hiney in gear and talk to the world.

Hi, world.

Yesterday, hubby and I passed the 200-day mark of our wedded bliss. I keep waiting for that dreaded "tough first year" to materialize, but so far it hasn't. The toughest things about 2007 have come from outside, not from within. No, if anything, 200 days have proven that I chose beautifully. "Peas and carrots" comes to mind.

Otherwise, it's been hard to know what to blog about. It's been nice not having a day job to complain about, and days at home have been mostly productive and absolutely peaceful. Coming up on an election year, you'd think I'd be back in political-junkie mode, but lately the news only gets me angry. Suffice it to say, Hillary Clinton is a Marxist and I will vote for her opponent, whoever that may be. In fact, I'm kinda tickled that Pat Robertson -- kooky as he is -- decided to endorse Giuliani, especially after James Dobson's whining that none of the front runners is Jesus-y enough.

Speaking of Jesus ...

Michael Horton is my hero. (After Jesus.) I finally got my hands on a copy of a fantastic volume he edited, titled Christ the Lord: The Reformation and Lordship Salvation. For those of you who did not grow up Southern Baptist, this will be meaningless, but this book has finally settled the anxieties of this former SBC'er who grew up constantly hearing: "Are you really, really, really, really, REALLY saved?" (For those of you who did grow up So. Baptist, I hope you are giggling now. And go buy the book.)

Okay, our older dog is giving me that look. Time to feed the mutts. Arividerci!

Dumb government idea of the day

FDA considers additional food labels

Memo to the FDA: Believe it or not, it is not your responsibility to make sure we eat our greens and don't pig out on Doritos. And cigarette packs are labeled to hell and gone and that doesn't discourage most people from smoking, now does it?

Dragon*Con recap

Hubby and I got home LATE last night from Atlanta. His brother and sis-in-law gave us weekend passes to Dragon*Con and two nights' lodging as a wedding gift, and a good time was had by all. A few highlights:

• Rich went over on Wednesday night to attend a two-day writing seminar hosted by author Ann Crispin and gave it rave reviews.
• Sunday night, we saw a panel discussion on "Beer Snobs in Space" on the schedule and decided to attend. (Rich is a homebrew and winemaking enthusiast.) The featured speaker had to cancel at the last minute, but a group of homebrewers filled in -- and they brought samples. :) Props to the chemistry professor who brought his "Imperial Death Star Stout" and the dude in black who treated us to real honeymead. So cool. Man, I love geeks.
• I got to meet two male idols from my childhood -- Erik Estrada of CHiPS fame and Gil Gerard, better known as Buck Rogers. Gil was friendly and wisecracking; Erik looked unbelievably handsome, even 30 years past his CHiPS days. When I told him my mom loved him, he asked her name and said, "Be sure to tell her I said hi." I called her later and told her I had a special message from Erik Estrada. Tickled her to death.
• I also got to meet three Star Trek: TNG cast members: John DeLancie ("Q") and Jonathan Frakes ("Commander Riker") were polite but seemed like they really needed a nap. (Granted, this was yesterday on the last day of the con.) But Brent Spiner ("Data") made my day. Super nice, joked with me and looked terrific.

Special note: I'm sad that our buddies Tom and Minde couldn't make the con, but they had good reason: Their daughter was born Friday. :) Welcome to Geek World, little girl.

ISO: Halloween recipes that don't induce vomiting

I love Halloween. I hate Googling for Halloween recipes.

To everyone out there who posts Halloween recipes: Please put your vomit-inducing recipes on a separate page AWAY from the recipes for roasted pumpkin seed and caramel apples. I am getting so tired of searching for innocent recipes and instead stumbling upon these appetizing selections:

*** Please do not read if you've recently had a meal or plan to within the next hour. ***

"Bloody Popcorn"
"Kitty Litter Cake"
"Brains and Eyeballs"
And perhaps the all-time worst: "Hair Salad with Saliva Dressing"

I am not 11. I do not think that gross is cool. I do not want to consume food that may taste fabulous but looks like roadkill, bodily waste or a serious industrial accident. I do not want scary bits floating in my beverage. I do not want to consume things that remind me of sinusitis.

I was at a Halloween party years ago at the home of this artsy-tartsy couple of university professors. The house was way out in the hinterland, which just gave you this heightened sense of foreboding. (Oh, so this is where they hide the bodies?) The decorations were fabulous in a house that already had this quirky Dali-esque spookiness about it. (The kitchen was decorated RED and BLACK.) The appetizers were delicious and the beverages were flowing.

I was having a grand old time swanning about in my Bollywood princess outfit when some knucklehead guest brings out the kitty litter cake. In a real kitty litter box with a scoop.

Although my rational forebrain knew I was looking at rolled oats dotted with some kind of fig paste, my reptilian brain was screaming, "DO NOT EAT POOP! DANGER! DANGER! DO NOT EAT POOP! POOP BAD! POOP BAD!"

I could feel the bile rising in the back of my throat. I wanted to punch the guy.

So, all you recipe posters: No gross stuff where I can easily find it. Thank you.

Alton Brown on the real reason we cook

Our Patron Saint of Perpetual Good Eats


The GGB recently gave up her 40-hour-a-week Corporate America job for a kinder gig as Household COO (and occasional dance teacher and freelancer). When my former coworkers asked me if I was looking forward to a change of pace, I often told them I was excited about cooking dinner and having it ready when my husband gets home.

A few people looked at me as if I'd said I was going to be manacled to a stove and given daily beatings for my trouble.

It is not fashionable these days to be enthusiastic about the home arts. And if you do cook, you're supposed to do it as quickly as possible a la Rachael Ray. (That's another post entirely. The woman is a blight on humanity.)

However, I picked up on a bit of cosmic brilliance by the anti-Rachael, the sensei of culinary kung fu, the high priest of all that is sacred and holy about the range top and the saute pan. I give you words of wisdom from Alton Brown:

... feeding someone is an act of caring. We will always be fed best by those that care, be it ourselves or the aforementioned friends and family.We are fat and sick and dying because we have handed a basic, fundamental and intimate function of life over to corporations. We choose to value our nourishment so little that we entrust it to strangers. We hand our lives over to big companies and then drag them to court when the deal goes bad. This is insanity.

Amen, brother.

How come no one ever "finds" Buddha?

Puppy murderer Michael Vick says he has "found Jesus" and now claims that dogfighting is a "terrible thing."

Ever notice how no one ever "finds Buddha" or "achieves nirvana" in the pokey? (And Vick isn't even in jail yet. This must be a record.) I'm just saying that since Eastern-style religion is all the rage these days, I'm curious as to why it's the Jesus card that gets played.

Ministers behaving badly. Congregants behaving stupidly.

"The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer [bishop], he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money."

-- St. Paul, I Timothy 3:1-3

Evangelist Juanita Bynum recently got the stuffing knocked out of her in a hotel parking lot by her husband, "Bishop" Thomas Weeks III. A hotel bellman witnessed the attack, as relayed here in an article by Fox News:

"They were talking about a reconciliation. They got into an argument. In the process of the argument, her husband walked out to the parking lot area, turned back around and started to choke Miss Bynum," [Atlanta police officer Ronald ] Campbell said.

"As he choked her, he pushed her down to the ground and started to kick her and also stomp on her," he said. "There was a bellman at the location who witnessed the whole assault, intervened, and pulled Mr. Weeks off of Miss Bynum."

"Bishop" Weeks has yet to repent and instead took a few brief moments in the pulpit this past Sunday (before a guest preacher delivered the sermon) to blame the devil for his troubles, according to the Atlanta Journal Constitution. His congregants are being all mashy-mouthed about "not judging." One particularly pathetic comment to the AJC site [emphases mine]:

I am a member of Global Destiny. I was there yesterday and I support Bishop 100%. He is a true man of God who made a mistake. I get paid on this week and will sow my entire pay check to the ministry. I know these are trying times for him financially. My 8 year daughter does not mind forfeiting "back to school shopping" b/c Bishop weeks is in need. Praying is not enough. We need ot take action. I signed the thing on yesterday to have the Judge decrease the felony to a misdemeanor. I am praying that his case is dismissed due ot self defense or he gets Community Service. Everyone does stuff they regret. I know he is pure, he did not mean to hurt her-he got caught up in the heat of the moment. I pray that he will Preach on this coming Sunday.

Good Lord Almighty, this is so cosmically insane, I don't even know where to begin. Weeks is in flagrant violation of at least four Biblical requirements to be a bishop, and not only is he not being held accountable, people are flinging MONEY at him!!! ENTIRE PAYCHECKS!!!

"Judge not," my arse. I cannot judge Weeks' heart or motivations, but I sure as heck can judge that smacking your wife around is a big fat honkin' no-no for any man who claims to be a Christian, much less a "Bishop." And when church members do not stand up and demand decent behavior from their leaders, it makes us all look like cretins and gives cover to ignorant people who think that the Bible actually endorses that kind of behavior.

Aggghhhh. I want to throw something.

And now I'm appalled by Fox News' commercials, too

I am, admittedly, tuning in to Fox News via XM Radio to catch up on the horrible bridge collapse in Minnesota. Call me a rubbernecker.

I'm glad that my handy-dandy pink Pioneer Inno displays the name of the programming, including when the program switches to commercials. I can mute it when they're yammering about ordering Viagra and Cialis online.

Sheesh. It's like listening to spam.

Hostage Watch: Apparently, Amnesty International doesn't give a damn

The Associated Press is reporting this morning:

Afghan Police Find Body of Second South Korean Hostage


Out of curiosity, I checked Amnesty International's Web site to see what they had to say about the detention, mistreatment and summary execution of now TWO South Korean Christian workers:

::: crickets chirping :::

Oh. Hm. Nothing on the home page. I searched their site for the keywords "south korean hostages." I got four hits and keyword-searched each of them. I did discover that the U.S., apparently, is "denying human dignity" in the war on terror. Read all about it here. But the South Koreans in Afghanistan? I guess they're at a Talibani resort or something and the two found dead were just oopsies.

News -- Not News

What is "news." A primer.

News:

NOT News:

Any questions?

HOSTAGE WATCH: Update: Oh, shit.

This is Bae Ho-jung, father of South Korean pastor Bae Hyeong-gyu, who is reported to have been murdered by the Taliban. (AP photo) Our prayers are with you, brother.

UPDATE: 12:43 p.m. Central: It's been reported that the murdered pastor may have died of illness. Whatever. Six of one ... you know the routine. If he was that sick, he should have been in a hospital instead of in whatever shithole the Taliban stuck him in.

Barbarians.

UPDATE: July 25, 11:17 a.m. Central.

Michelle Malkin is on the case and reports that the body of a South Korean riddled with bullet holes has been found in Afghanistan.

I'm sick now.

Oh, NOW Fox News has the story on its homepage. Gee. Thanks, guys.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Posted yesterday:

The GGB is just now recovering from a pretty nutso three months of newlywed life. (See my July 4 post for all the details.) I've been fasting somewhat from news and blogs because, well, I'm sick of reading about another bombing in Baghdad, and the only good thing about Lindsay Lohan's substance abuse problems is she's bumped Paris Hilton's orange-glo mug off the screen.

And then I read about this.

I just sent Fox News a snippy e-mail because THEY of ALL PEOPLE should at least have a MENTION of this on their homepage. But no. Alongside some legit headlines about global politics and Fred Thompson's campaign, we have these supermarket tabloid-worthy headlines:

"Live Well With Low IQ, No-Brainer"
"Man Has 33-Pound Tumor Removed From Face"
"Kim Jong-Il's Favorite Magician Injured in Risky Trick"

For the love of God and all that is holy, WAKE UP, PEOPLE! Good Lord Almighty, will you stop with the idiotic TRIVIA and stupid celebrity tricks and missing-pretty-woman dramas and start reporting the @#$%^% NEWS!!!!!!!!

When I need useless fluff, I'll watch WE TV or the Style Network. But when I turn on the news, I want frickin' NEWS! N-E-W-S!!!!

A dispatch from the other side of the altar

@#$%^&

Dad gummit.

No, I love marriage -- seriously -- it's just the upgrade in Blogger that's locked me out of my account for months and made me a little frustrated.

Okay ... where was I? Oh, yes ... marriage!!

At this moment, hubby and I are lounging in our brand-new, king-size Tempur Pedic bed (top of the line, mind you), with blankets and a duvet made of yards of the stuff that feels like plush teddy bears. We're in our PJs, Rich is reading Harry Potter and I am, well, blogging. Obviously. He's made us both coffee, and we're enjoying a rare quiet morning, punctuated by the cats walking across our laps and the occasional goofy-eyed glance.

Wedded bliss at its finest. THIS is what I'd hoped marriage would be like.

On the other hand, if you've been reading Rich's blog, you'll know that we've had a little drama in our world. That "in sickness and in health" clause kicked in way earlier than I expected when Rich was hit nearly head-on and totaled his Altima four days after we got home from Jamaica. It wasn't his fault and he had no permanent bodily damage, but he had some of the most horrifying bruises I've ever seen on a human being.

Since then, we've had the final move of my junk to the house. (Rich says that the garage looks like the final scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark.) One of our dogs required emergency surgery and had a return trip to the vet this past weekend. My sister got pregnant (minor miracle). Then she miscarried (major heartbreak).

And I still love married life!

Rich and I have had each other to lean on and trust in during this cluster of minor trials. After viewing the aftermath of Rich vs. Shelby County patrol car (yes -- a cop hit him), I am grateful to God to have a husband to come home to. The cats and dogs are getting along, and the house -- though disorganized and far from complete in its transition -- is looking more and more like a home rather than a bachelor pad.

And it's peaceful. Especially this morning.

Happy Fourth of July, everyone.

Fatwa'ed: Imam sez you can't be nekkid during sex with your spousal unit

Good thing I'm not Muslim:

Leading Islamic Cleric: Nudity During Sex Annuls Marriage (Hat tip: LGF)

But if I were Muslim, this would lead to some interesting questions: Can I wear a hat? How about stillettos? Two Band-Aids and dental floss?

One LGF commenter wondered if there was an online database for fatwas -- they're getting so hard to keep up with. Is there an official Fatwa Report? How about an RSS feed? Perhaps you can sign up for e-mail fatwa alerts to get your fresh fatwas every morning.

Can I issue a fatwa? Do I have to be Muslim? Do I have to fill out an application or something? I've been wanting to issue a fatwa against telemarketers. And Michael Bolton.

Texas hospital wants to "pull the plug" on infant -- against parents' wishes

I'm so mad about this story, I don't think I'm capable of writing coherently right now. I'll let you get the details:

Texas Law Could Force Infant's Life Support to Be Pulled

Suffice it to say that I think hospital "officials" have no business making end-of-life judgments over and above the wishes of parents. God help us all.

Wife beating and other unintended consequences of relativism

In Germany, now that everyone's belief system is equally good and equally valid, the German justice system has paved the way for at least one Muslim to preserve a time-honored tradition: wife beating.

German Judge Says Woman Can’t Get Divorce, Men Have Right To Beat Their Women

Yes, you read that correctly. (Hat tip to Say Anything via Hot Air.)

But hey, as long one religion is just as good as another, what's the big deal? You have your truth, I have my truth, right? If there are no universal moral truths, then Moroccan Muslim men should be allowed to beat their wives because that's what their religious faith requires (or so some say).

If you're like me and believe this line of thinking is garbage, you might enjoy this:

"Relativism Self Destructs" by Greg Koukl of Stand to Reason.

If this were 30 A.D., all my guests would be Mary

You know that "coincidence" of names on the ossuaries featured in the Jesus Tomb documentary? I thought of that as I was making the guest list for my upcoming bachelorette party:

- Four of the 20 women -- including myself -- are "Amy" or "Aimee." That's 20 percent. (One of the Amys is Rich's brother's wife. Ha!)
- Two of the 20 women are named Lisa -- 10 percent.
- Two of the 20 are named Vanessa -- 10 percent.
- We have a Jenna and a Jennefer. Close enough -- we'll call that 10 percent.
- We have a Meg and a Meagan. Ditto -- another 10 percent.

In other words, only eight women have "unique" names, and believe me, they're not names like "Esmerelda" or "Rainbow Moonbeam."

Apparently, all generations have a dearth of uniquely-named people, which is why no one should get their skivvies bunched up over the so-called Jesus Tomb.

Fox News: Procter & Gamble Wins 'Satanism' Lawsuit

From a cursory glance at this article, it looks like P&G might have been a little heavy-handed in going after Amway. However, I am constantly embarrassed at how so many of my fellow Christians buy into garbage such as the "Satanic" meanings of the P&G logo. That rumor has persisted for years. I hope that this victory will make people think twice before slandering people "in the name of Christ."

A blatantly ad hominem rant

From a Fox news article, "DePauw University Severs Ties With Troubled Delta Zeta Sorority."

"DePauw University's president ordered the Delta Zeta sorority Monday to leave its campus by September in response to a mass eviction of members that sparked allegations that only attractive, popular students were asked to remain." [emphasis mine]

Ah hah.

The article said that DZ " ... long had a reputation of being academically oriented rather than having conventional beauty or partying." The article also said they were referred to on campus as "the dog house."

Warning: Cranky diatribe ahead.

If you want to be "Greek" you have to pretend you have an IQ of 20, drink a lot, sleep around and act like you're better than everyone else. Unless you went to my alma mater (a Baptist college), in which case you can get away with more smarts and you hide your drinking and carousing, but the better-than-everyone-else-part still applies.

I'm cranky today, can you tell?

For those of you out there who are/were Greek and are perfectly fine human beings, my deepest apologies. I know you exist and you don't deserve to be smeared. Understand, I was disinclined toward being Greek before I even got to college by my mother. She quit Phi Mu (at the same Baptist college) because they shunned a perfectly precious and sweet girl because she had scars from polio. Later, not one of her sorority "sisters" showed up for her bridal tea.

Once I got on campus myself, I had only more and more reasons not to pay good money to have a bunch of country club princesses tell me if I was good enough to hang out with them and tell me who my friends could be. I bristled at how the "social Greeks" insulted the guys of Alpha Phi Omega, the "service" fraternity. The Greeks said the A Phi O's were "not good enough" for the social Greeks. I say they were too cool for school.

And in my 15 years since I graduated, I've met a few people who never let go of their inner Greek and continue to be bratty to anyone who is more than one standard deviation away from Mountain Brook. (If you are from Birmingham, you know of which I speak. Again, my deepest apologies to the decent Brookies.)

Okay, rant over.

Marcotte stays on with Edwards; Satan flummoxed

No doubt you’ve heard about the saga of liberal blogger Amanda Marcotte being hired by candidate John Edwards to manage his campaign blog.

Amanda Marcotte’s writing style varies in tone from the incendiary to the downright Hiroshimian. She has an elegant style and vocabulary no doubt inspired by sundry hip hop artists, comment threads on pornographic forums, and Bradley Dingledorf, the pimply, smelly guy who scrawled graffiti on her seventh-grade locker.

Behold this gem of literary fortitude:

“Q: What if Mary had taken Plan B after the Lord filled her with his hot, white, sticky Holy Spirit?

A: You’d have to justify your misogyny with another ancient mythology.”

Convinced that Marcott’s treatise on The Third Person of the Trinity as Human Spermatozoa was merely misunderstood, nuanced satire rather than adolescent brain spew, Edwards said this, defending his decision to retain Marcotte:

“I've talked to Amanda and Melissa; they have both assured me that it was never their intention to malign anyone's faith, and I take them at their word.”

Indeed, rumor has it that the Maligning Bar has been set so high, Satan himself is having a hard time clearing it.

UPDATE: Just for the record, I could care less if John Edwards keeps Marcotte on or not. The fact that her reputation is blighted by vulgarity on a cosmic scale is his misfortune and none of my own. As vile as I think her comments are, I'd rather her come right out and say "f*** you!" than insult my intelligence by feigning innocence about her intentions. Plus, I wouldn't vote for Edwards anyway, but I'd rather the electorate see whose company he's keeping.

Headline of the day

Turn your radio on, and listen to the t'storms in the air ...

In the wake of 20 tornado deaths in Florida, the folks at my favorite weather blog -- the ABC 33/40 Weather Blog -- have issued another rant on the importance of weather radios.

I second that emotion.

Unfortunately, the "let the government take care of you" mentality has overridden common sense for a few people to the point that they'd rather get swept away like Dorothy than plunk down $20 for a basic weather radio. Scroll down to the first comment on that post and you'll see what I mean.

Granted, I'm a weather geek. I've gone through storm spotter training. I want my own wireless home weather station. But geekitude is not required for basic human survival.

Sometimes, people do all the right things and still get killed by tornadoes. In 1998, an F5 -- the most powerful type of tornado -- hit west of here and killed more than 30 people. A few were simply at ground zero and could have survived only if they'd had a basement or storm shelter. They did everything right and got into the most protected area of their homes, but the storm was too powerful.

But when I read about people in trailer parks getting killed, I want to scream. No one should EVER be in a mobile home during a tornado warning. NEVER EVER EVER. Drive to a gas station and hunker down in their bathroom. Go to a neighbor's house. Heck, crawling into a ditch is preferable to remaining in your own flying coffin.

Sad.

I want my pink back

Eve Ensler and fellow Code Pinkers protested this weekend against the war and the "surge," which Ensler likened to something that ... ahem ... happens to teenage boys in the middle of the night. She invoked images of things "swelling" and "rising" and "lasting just a minute."

OKAY, Eve, we get the picture.

Ensler has managed to completely invert the ideals of the women's movement. I thought women struggled to be recognized for their brains. You know, we're substantive, thoughtful, more than just the sum of our womanly parts.

Now, Ensler and the other Pinkers flounce around in ridiculous outfits, screeching, snickering about genitalia, and holding signs with insightful commentary such as "Augmentation is for Boobs."

And for Pete's sake, enough with the pink. Pink is a perfectly wonderful color, and I want it back.

Spare the rod, spoil the plane ride

AirTran had to boot a couple and their out-of-control kid off a plane because they were delaying takeoff. The 3-year-old refused to sit in her seat and was "climbing under the seat and hitting the parents."

Hitting the parents.

I've blogged before about my frustration with bratty kids who think nothing of assaulting their own parents. The 16-year-old who bruises her mother, as I witnessed one woman talking about, I'm sure started out like the 3-year-old on this plane.

In a not-unrelated item, a California assemblywoman wants to ban spanking of children under 4. She said she hasn't figured out exactly how to define spanking for the purposes of this bill, but she was quoted as saying, "I think it's pretty hard to argue you need to beat a child," [Sally] Lieber said. "Is it OK to whip a 1-year-old or a 6-month-old or a newborn?"

"Whip." Oh, geez. No one is advocating taking a cat o' nine tails to a three-month old. Anything that would cause injury to a child (apart from a tender bottom) is already against the law. And certainly she knows that.

Liber then invokes the tired canard that spanking breeds societal violence. Does that not collide with common sense? How many of you were spanked as children? Okay, put your hands down. How many of you have committed a violent act? That's what I thought.

Note to self: Never move to California, and ride AirTran at the next possible opportunity.

Bits 'n' snips

Hello, GGB readers! It's been a few days since I've posted, so I thought I'd update you all on my goings-on:

95 Days and Counting: The GGB's days as a single girl are numbered. When we were 200 days out, it felt like forever until the wedding. Now, my to-do list is expanding geometrically like a psychotic Mandelbrot set, and it's hard to keep up with my own thoughts. Luckily, my mother is retired and the noble and gallant Rich is not above taking over part of the checklist.

24 Hours of Terrorist-smacking Goodness: We had to see what all the fuss was about, so Rich and I downloaded the first four "hours" of 24 from iTunes and watched them Sunday evening. (What a great deal! Four hours of entertainment for $8, no commercials.) Caught last night's installment as well, and we're both recording the season on our respective media PCs.

I can see why the show is addictive. It's just a damn good show. A few nitpicks, though: The dialogue occasionally lapses into tired stump-speech clichés and sloganeering. And the twist about possible involvement of Jack's brother and father is just a wittle too convenient, IMHO.

I hope she can get the deposit on the caterer back

Here's someone who's having a bad day: You're a judge in Memphis, and you discover that not only has your fiancé had sex with another woman, he is in jail because he paid said woman to have sex with her 8-year-old daughter.

Fiance of Memphis Judge Accused of Paying Woman for Sex With 8-Year-Old Daughter (Fox News)

If I were that woman, I don't know what I'd do, but I can think of a few possibilities ... Epilady his entire body followed by a nice sea salt scrub comes to mind.

Yuck.

'24' is da bomb

Okay, I'll have to admit. I'm not a watcher of 24, but I am tickled at the ... cough ... bomb the season opener has detonated among the jabbering classes.

And this just in: Muslims protest reprised role as terrorists in Fox series '24'. (Hat tip: LGF) One person quoted in the article is concerned about reprisals against Muslims in the U.S.:

"Somewhere, some lunatic out there watching this will do something to an innocent American Muslim because he believes what he saw on TV."

I'm more concerned about the lunatics watching the beheadings on Al Jazeera, myself.

Too uncoordinated to be 'jocular'

If you’ve ever seen Broadcast News, you know why on-air panache and writing chops often do not come in the same body. Katie Couric should take note.

Her Jan. 15 “blog” post about the dearth of female news anchors left me scratching my head. Describing a meeting regarding U.S. policy in Iraq between senior White House officials and prominent members of the news media, she wrote:

“I couldn’t help but notice, despite how far we’ve come, that I was still the only woman there.”

Uh, that should be, “I couldn’t help noticing,” Katie.

“Well, there was some female support staff near the door. But of the people at the table, the ‘principals’ in the meeting, I was the only one wearing a skirt. Everyone was gracious, though the jocular atmosphere was palpable.”

Okay, I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt. If she meant “jocular” as in people were making jokes, I don’t understand why she would contrast it with everyone being “gracious.” Doesn’t make sense. Perhaps she meant that everyone was being nice but she wasn’t in on “the joke,” whatever that was.

Others have speculated, though, that she used “jocular” as some sort of adjective wrenched from “jock.” If so, God help us, she should be condemned to the fifth circle of Hell, where the only reading materials are Webster’s and the AP Style Manual.

“The feminist movement that began in the 1970’s helped women make tremendous strides …”

Wha? I thought the feminist movement began in the 1800s. But what do I know? I’m just a dinky blogger from Alabama.

“That meeting was a reality check for me—and not just about Iraq. It was a reminder that all of us still have an obligation to ask: Don’t more women deserve a place at the table too?”

You deserve a place at the table only if you’re qualified and prepared, Katie – not simply because you’re filling a quota. But far be it from me to suggest that a news anchor from a major network should possess basic English skills and a knowledge of history.

Rush Limbaugh has commentary here. Ian at Hot Air opines here.

Unfortunately, this does not surprise me

Natalee Holloway's Stepfather Seeks Divorce (Fox News)

Me and Kevin Bacon

The GGB is at home with a cold. Slightly bored. Mindlessly 'Net surfing. And I wonder: How many degrees of separation are there between me and Kevin Bacon? Let's see.

Me
> college acquaintance Lissa
> Michael Keaton (Lissa used to babysit for Keaton when she lived in California)
> Jack Nicholson (starred in Batman w/Keaton)
> Kevin Bacon (starred in A Few Good Men w/Nicholson)

That was easy.

My buddy Kevin.

Comedy -- Persian style

Is anyone really surprised that I'madinnerjacket has stinky pits?

Demi Moore is starring in WHAT?

Anyone notice the error in the NewsGator item below?

I'm sure Demi Moore fans everywhere will be lining up to see that one.

Laura Bush refuses to be poster child for skin cancer; press revolts

The White House Press Corps has gone completely insane.

Witness Tony Snow's grilling about why Laura Bush's skin cancer removal was not immediately disclosed. (Secrecy in the Bush White House ... ooooh!)

Malkin has a great transcript here.

Mrs. Bush had a nickel-sized squamous cell lesion removed -- getting your wisdom teeth removed is more painful and invasive. However, once the press heard cancer, they immediately began demanding why Mrs. Bush wasn't doing public service announcements about the dangers of not wearing your sunblock. Apparently, we're all idiots and can't take care of ourselves unless Mizz Laura tells us to:

(White House Press Doofus) "What I'm saying is even though she may not be an elected official, she's a very public official and very well loved. And as someone who has two adolescents who don't like to listen to mother when she says, put on the sun screen, get out of the sun, she could potentially have a great influence on a lot of people's lives, especially young women."

AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! ::: pounds head on desk :::

Aren't you a little tired of celebrities and their diseases? I'm all for awareness-raising, but geez Louise, why do we demand that sick people parade themselves on Oprah and lecture the masses on going to the doctor regularly?

I wish Mrs. Bush godspeed ... and for the press to leave her the heck alone.

A little Christmas cheer

Yikes! Another month has gone by since my last post. *tsk, tsk, tsk* Oh, so much to blog about. Jimmy Carter. Mahmoud Dinnerjacket. Britney Spears.

Well, maybe not Britney.

But in the spirit of the holiday, I will forego the usual political nattering and instead bring you this priceless clip from Mr. Bean, courtesy of Hot Air:

Merry Christmas, Mr. Bean
Enjoy.

Rangel, Kerry singing from same hymnal

I blogged yesterday about Charlie Rangel's swipe at my neighbor, the great State of Mississippi. Rep. Chip Pickering (R) has demanded an apology and voiced what's on many Southerners' minds:

"I hope his remarks are not the kind of insults, slander and defamation that Mississippians will come to expect from the Democrat leadership in Washington, D.C.," he said.

Don't get your hopes up, Chip.

Rangel came back with this Kerry-esque response: "I certainly don't mean to offend anyone. I just love New York so much that I can't understand why everyone wouldn't want to live here."

Reminds me of Ray Nagin's insistence that "chocolate" meant "a drink made with white milk and dark chocolate."

This "I meant the exact opposite of what I said" act is getting old, but I don't think it's fooling many people. Personally, I say, keep handing them the microphones. Let's have the whole country hear more about what bigots they are. Yes, I said bigots. Smearing the troops or Southerners is just as bigoted as smearing African-Americans or homosexuals.

Dang, I'm getting cranky. Time for the weekend and some time out with Rich.

He never shoulda been there in the first place

Note to Shakira: Would you like to write a check to Adrienne Shelly's widower and child to help compensate them after her brutal murder at the hands of an illegal immigrant?

Would you, by any chance, like to amend your statement at the Latin Grammys in support of "the recognition [illegals] deserve from the government"? I'm sorry ... exactly what sort of recognition did this piece of crap deserve?

Just asking.

(Hat tip: Michelle Malkin)

He ain't whistlin' Dixie

Charlie Rangel takes a swipe at the South. From the New York Times (big surprise):

“It’s not just committees — our influence within the House Democratic caucus will grow enormously,” Mr. Rangel said in an interview. To that end, he sketched out an expansive federal agenda: Teaming up with Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg on gun control, passing new tax incentives for urban job programs, and redirecting federal money to New York in return for the outsize tax collections that the federal government makes here.

“Mississippi gets more than their fair share back in federal money, but who the hell wants to live in Mississippi?” Mr. Rangel said.

I thought the Dems were all about helping poor people, and there are more poor people in Mississippi than in New York, right? So, why the griping, Charlie?

But I, frankly, am glad that Mr. Rangel doesn't live in Mississippi or anywhere else near me. He's a doofus. Ted Nugent nailed him on Hannity & Colmes a few years ago on the subject of gun control. Nugent pointedly asked what he'd do if someone were breaking into his house and threatening his family. Rangel said, "Call 911." Nugent laughed and said, "Good luck."

Yeah, that's the problem with you gun-control nuts: By the time you have to call 911, it's often too late.

For example, on 9/11.

(Hat tip: Michelle Malkin)

OMG

Y'all, I am so bummed.

Terrorism. Illegal immigration. John Kerry's frightening mug. It's all just trivia now because of the horrors of Brit and K-Fred breaking up.

Who could have seen this one coming? I mean, what a great couple. Just the perfect couple. And Brit is the one doing the leaving. Is she crazy? What's not to love about this guy?

I'll be okay, y'all. Just give me a little while.

::: sniff :::

Aw ... say it isn't so

I like Shakira. I really, really like Shakira. As one of the few contemporary singers I bother to keep up with on occasion, she saves me from being a complete old-timer permanently stuck in Retroville.

And now she's done it. Dangit. According to Fox News:

"She threw her support to those trying to become citizens as they work without documentation. 'I hope soon they will receive they recognition they deserve from the government,' the Colombian superstar said."

Shakira, girlfriend, please ... "the recognition they deserve"? They deserve??

By the way, I don't know where this "trying to become citizens" business comes from. Between the Mechistas claiming that the southwestern U.S. belongs to them anyway and the revolving door at the border, I don't see a whole lot of investment in the idea of U.S. citizenship.

First George, and now Shakira. Oh, this makes my head hurt.

Reason #376 why I like living in Alabama

Okay ... we're certainly not the only state in the Union with deciduous trees, but check out these photographs at one of my favorite weather sites:

ABC 33/40 Weather Blog: Fayette County, Alabama

Scenes like these almost make me weep. I'm not joking. And they're everywhere in the richly forested central and northern Alabama. A gift from the Almighty, if you ask me.

South Park disses Darwin

BWWAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

Before you click -- this is definitely PG-13. (Hat tip: Hot Air)

QotD

"Big government is a national security threat: it increases your vulnerability to threats like Islamism, and makes it less likely you'll be able to summon the will to rebuff it. We should have learned that lesson on Sept. 11, 2001, when big government flopped big-time and the only good news of the day came from the ad hoc citizen militia of Flight 93."


-- Mark Steyn in America Alone

John Kerry takes another wrong turn into Cluelessville

Did ya hear the one about John Kerry making a fool of himself? I know, I know ... which one?

Michelle Malkin has an excellent roundup of Kerry's smearing the troops as dumb and uneducated. I won't repeat here. Read it and breathe a sigh of relief that he is not the commander in chief.

UPDATE: Kerry should have ordered some cheese with this whine.

MY PREDICTION: Watch for Hillary to distance herself and maybe even outright criticize Kerry in order to position herself as being more pro-military than she actually is.

UPDATE II: Ha!! What did I tell you. (Granted, a little tepid, but I knew she wouldn't defend him.)

Now I have seen it all

For the gadget geek who has (almost) everything, Halloween costumes for your iPod.

And if you get a chance, head on over to my sweetie's blog, Brain Squeezings, and wish Rich good luck as he begins NaNoWriMo tomorrow.

Thursday roundup

Screamingly funny.

Nuke threats mean South Koreans are enjoying a little more sumthin-sumthin. I approve.

The idea of Madonna adopting anyone scares the freak outta me.

High school sez "no" to Professor Poopypants costumes

Mariah Carey's Hong Kong concert canceled due to low sales and high diva-ness. Aw.

Speaking of divas: When Supermodels Attack

Y'all have a great day!

Oh, no ... does this make me a liberal?

The latest post on the excellent Babalu Blog is titled "Why liberals (really) piss me off (Part 3)." Naturally, it caught my attention.

George Moneo is ranting about silly PC speech codes that are supposed to protect feminine ears from "sexist" language. But I gotta take issue with ya, George. You said, to your female coworker, "Love, I'll say what I damn well please!" And I say, "Mind your manners, sir."

Yeah, I think we've gone too far with banning words such as "manpower," but don't call me "dear" or "love" unless you're (A) my fiance or (B) a male relative who is at least my age.

It's not a matter of sexism -- it's a matter of propriety. It is improper to call someone by a pet name in a business setting. Common sense should tell you that. (I mean, would you really want your wife's male boss calling her "honey?") And for that matter, I don't appreciate women calling me pet names in a business setting, either.

In our resistance against political correctness, we can't chuck simple manners. Used to be, society had elegant rules about how to address people. First names were inappropriate outside of family and close friendships, much less pet names. I really would like us to return to more decorum and away from calling people what "we damn well please."

Please. Sir.

Colmes out to lunch on North Korea

My, my, my! Lots going on in this big, nutty world since I blogged a week ago. I will say that Rich and I had a fabuloso weekend. Read about it on his blog here.

Meanwhile, I got a profoundly sobering e-mail yesterday from The Voice of the Martyrs regarding the treatment of Christians -- and anyone else who won't lick the boots of Nutcase in Chief Kim Jong Il -- in North Korea.

If you're even remotely thinking that we should have a sit-down with Kim, please read this. And this. If you're short on time, I'll summarize: North Korea employs hundreds of exotic ways to torture and murder its own citizens for crimes such as believing in God or attempting to cross the border. If you're lucky, you'll just get a bullet. Doesn't matter if you're an 80-year-old grandmother or a toddler, crimes against the "Great Leader" are not tolerated. Oh and, by the way, at least 10 percent of the population has died of starvation in recent years.

How could we begin to trust that Kim would do ANYTHING with peaceful intent?

Apparently, Alan Colmes does. He recently said that providing the Norks with "energy" (I assume he meant nuclear energy capability) would help raise them out of devastating poverty and starvation. News flash, Alan: Kim Jong Il doesn't care squat about people's welfare. North Korea's GDP is lower than the spare change I have in a coffee mug on my desk. How do you think he affords his own lavish lifestyle (including a reputed wine cellar stocked with 10,000 bottles of France's finest)?

I'll let you ponder that for a moment.

In the meanwhile -- for those of us who truly care about North Koreans (including, I hope, Mr. Colmes) -- please visit sites such as Voice of the Martyrs (link above) and consider donating to a truly worthy cause. The people of North Korea are mostly voiceless in our media culture. We can work to change that.

GGB Must-see TV

The pronouncement has come from the gods of South Park: 9/11 conspiracy theorists are retards.

Watch it!

Odds 'n' ends

Rich is now famous. His blog entry on Moleskines has been quoted and linked at Moleskinerie.com. What the heck is a Moleskine? Here ya go.

Yes, I do own a pair of Brain Squeezings thong underwear. Proudly.

It looks like Mountain Dew will not be reincarnating Pitch Black soda for the 2006 Halloween season. And I am sad.

I have consumed an inordinate amount of Mountain Dew over the past two days. I have worked past 7 p.m. the past two days. Coincidence?

Word of the Day, from a commenter at LGF:
Hollowcaust: An inconsequential, trivial matter made to appear important out of proportion to its worth through comparing it with the Holocaust. Its usage usually indicates that the speaker is an a$$hat.

There are 200 days left until my wedding. Feels like 2,000.

There are four days left until my engagement party, and my house is still a Superfund cleanup site.

Did I mention I'd been working late?

I'm craving pizza.

A 'page' from my own history

The Mark Foley scandal just gets uglier and uglier.

I have no illusions that our elected officials are saints, but you'd like to think that a member of Congress would have better things to do than to fantasize about the private parts of the page corps.

But I know better.

I was a page in the Alabama State Senate during the summer of 1983 at the tender age of 13. Thank god, no one tried to get in my pantyhose. Nevertheless, there was a member of the Senate who was still single at the time and enjoyed a reputation as Montgomery's most eligible bachelor. Late one evening, the Senate was in fillibuster and I was parked in the chamber near the podium, keeping an eye out for a senator I'd been told to fetch. Senator Bachelor came striding down the aisle behind me. I caught his eye and said, "Senator Bachelor, have you seen Senator So-and-So?"

Senator Bachelor bent down next to my ear, and with the smell of alcohol on his breath, kissed my cheek and said, "No, honey, I haven't seen him."

I freaked.

I went to my uncle, who at the time held a high position in the administration. "Senator Bachelor kissed me!" He laughed it off and reassured me that the senator was a harmless flirt.

Perhaps, but in retrospect, I think my 13-year-old Spidey sense was correct: Grown men have no business planting their lips on teenagers.

Actually, the Senatorial Smooch was the least disillusioning moment during my two weeks in the Capitol. Mostly, I saw a bunch of supposed leaders indulging in a complete waste of time. Work? Ppplllpppttt. No one was working. Milling around, talking, enjoying martinis with dinner, oh yeah. But working? Nah. Hardly.

At this point, I'm pretty disgusted with the lot of 'em, the Dems and the GOP. The fact that Mark Foley is a wanker and a perv is hardly surprising.

My guess is, they don't have enough to keep them busy.

Oh, you whippersnappers

Columbia University students promoted the free market of ideas yesterday by storming a stage where the founder of the Minutemen was speaking.

Ah, college days.

I remember trying to be a liberal then, too ... as liberal as I could be at a Baptist university, which meant I was still well to the right of the most conservative undergrad at Dartmouth or Harvard.

Liberal ideas such as "No one is ever illegal" (as displayed on a protestor's sign) are nice and cozy ... as long as you don't have to live with the results of your ideas.

I'm comforted with the fact that most of these goofballs will have a change of heart within the next decade as they get out into the world, get married, start a family, get a job, pay taxes and generally interact with the greater society. Until then, I stick to my mantra that college students should generally be ignored.

Dang, I missed my calling

Writer Eve Ensler, of The Vagina Monologues fame, has penned an ode to Dubya's posterior:

"Fire His Ass"

And to think, I've been slaving for 15 years in Corporate America, convincing my superiors of the benefits of finely turned phrases and unforgettable bon mots, when all this time I could have been writing garbage like this and getting famous.

And in case anyone didn't notice, this is decidedly not a poem. It's a poorly constructed prose rant that isn't particularly entertaining, intelligent or thought-provoking. It could be extolling the virtues of kittens and daffodils, and I'd still think it was garbage.

Gurlz with gunz

There's a TV commercial for Brinks Home Security that makes me want to hurl.

A woman is home alone with her children. An intruder breaks the glass on the back door. The security alarm screams. The intruder high-tails it, woman and children scurry upstairs and receive a comforting phone call from Brinks that "help is on the way." She sputters, "Oh, thank you!" and then -- presumably -- grabs a fresh pair of undies.

In my fantasies, the woman drops her dish rag for a double-barreled rifle and puts a one-way tunnel through the dope's forehead. When Brinks calls, she says, "Yeah. We got it taken care of. But you might want to dispatch someone to clean the sidewalk."

Mary Katherine Ham (TownHall.com) has rounded up some real-life stories about gun-packin' chicks cleaning up the gene pool. You go, gurlz.

Crickets

I'm still waiting for an American Christian leader to stand up to condemn threats against the Pope and defend Benedict's remarks.

::: crickets :::

The GGB is reviewing major Christian Web sites to see if I've missed anything, but so far nothing has shown up in the major press.

::: crickets :::

Franklin Graham? Rick Warren? James Dobson? Anyone? Anyone?

::: crickets :::

UPDATE: Finally, someone's speaking up. And he's a Brit. (Hat tip: Michelle Malkin)

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

I don't give a flying rat's patootie that Muslim Leaders™ are pissed at the Pope for daring to bring up the ugly fact that Islam has been spread by the sword.

(Yes, fact, not "Christian view" as described by the Boston Globe article. The MSM's profound ignorance of all things religious never ceases to amaze me.)

In fact, until we get some apologies from Muslim Leaders™ for sicko crap like this (warning: graphic images), I am sticking my fingers in my ears.

Behold, bionics

After being a little depressed this week by the fifth anniversary of 9/11 and all the crapola that's going on in the world, this article cheered me right up:

Man can control his prosthetic arm through thought (Fox News)

Borg jokes aside, this is spectacular. Man, I love living in the 21st century.

Quote of the Day

"Patriotism, I now believe, isn't some sentimental, old conceit. It's self-preservation. I believe patriotism is central to a nation's survival. Ben Franklin said it: If we don't all hang together, we all hang separately. Just like you have to fight to protect your friends and family, and you count on them to watch your own back."

Graphic novelist/illustrator Frank Miller

In Memoriam: Todd D. Pelino

Todd D. Pelino.

Not a household name, not a famous man. A 34-year-old New Jersey guy, Todd was an ordinary American like you and me. But his is one of 2,996 names that will forever be connected with the worst terrorist attack on our nation's soil. Todd died on September 11, 2001, at the World Trade Center in New York City.

Todd was a power broker at Cantor Fitzgerald. In a quest to find out who Todd was, I discovered that he was an all-American guy. Talented athlete. Graduate of Colgate University. Married six years to Megan Pezzuti. Father of two. In fact, that fateful day began with a tender phone call to his young son, as reported by the Rochester News:

Two hours before the terrorist attack, Todd D. Pelino called his 2-year-old son from his office in the World Trade Center to wish him well on his first day of nursery school.

The next time the Pittsford native called, he was telling his wife, Megan, that he loved her and their two young children, and he would try to get down from the 107th floor of the burning building.

''In some respects she gets some solace from knowing that she talked to him,'' said his father, Douglas Pelino.

Todd worked on the 101st floor of WTC 1 (the north tower). At 8:45 a.m., an airliner struck the tower. He probably never had a chance.

Todd D. Pelino. Just a guy at his job. An innocent victim of senseless hate.

Rest in peace, Todd. Rest in peace.

For more on Todd ...
Rochester Democrat & Chronicle keyword search
Legacy.com guestbook entries
ObituaryRegistry.com entry
"2996" tribute to the 9/11 victims

Mindfreak patriot

Criss Angel, the obsidian-haired, blinged-out goth king of magic and star of A&E's Mindfreak, saluted the U.S. troops in this week's episode of his TV program. Angel visisted and entertained troops at California's Vandenberg Air Force Base and hailed their sacrifices on behalf of freedom.

I've been watching and loving Angel's show since last summer. He hardly dresses the part of a conservative, but you gotta admire a guy who has the stones to walk down the side of a building. Takes stones to know stones, which is perhaps why Angel has a pro-military streak. Or perhaps being the son of Greek immigrants, he understands what it means to live and breathe free in the USA.

Crikey. :(

We've lost the Crocodile Hunter.

I must admit, I never thought of crocodiles as "beauuuuutiful" until I saw them through Steve Irwin's eyes. I don't know if Steve was a religious man, but his unabashed love of God's creatures was ... dare I say ... spiritually uplifting.

Rest in peace, Steve.

UPDATE: I've been perusing various news items and blog posts this morning about Irwin's death, and I'm getting a little bugged by suggestions that Irwin's death was the result of unnecessary risk-taking. If he'd been eaten by a crocodile, I might be inclined to agree, but this was a freakish and extremely rare event caused by a normally placid animal. Could've happened to anyone snorkeling in shallow waters where stingrays live. Irwin was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Rich and I listened to interviews about him on Hannity & Colmes and On the Record on Fox News last night via XM Radio on the way home from Atlanta. (More on that trip later.) Jack Hanna and Jim Fowler (of Wild Kingdom fame) said repeatedly that many of Irwin's stunts looked more dangerous to the layman than they actually were and that Irwin was extremely professional and knowledgable about how to deal with wild animals. (Granted, they would've been reluctant to criticize a recently-deceased friend, but they sounded sincere.)

I hope the Irwin family opts for that state funeral that the Howard administration has offered. Irwin, by all accounts I've read, was a true Aussie patriot and a beloved ambassador for Down Under. God bless his family and his nation.

It's a sacrifice, but ...

Blogger Michelle Malkin reports that Miller Beer is sponsoring a pro-[illegal]-immigrant march in Chicago, ponying up $30,000 for the event. Of course, she recommends not cracking open a Miller Beer for your Labor Day bacchanalia.

Boycott Miller Beer. What a sacrifice. [snort] I've got a fiancé who brews his own.

Stereotyping leads to ... terrorism?

Beauty pageant winner and purported geopolitical expert Hammasa Kohistani -- the first Muslim to win the Miss England title -- has figured out what causes terrorism: (Hat tip: LGF)

"The attitude towards Muslims has got worse over the year. Also the Muslims' attitude to British people has got worse. Even moderate Muslims are turning to terrorism to prove themselves. They think they might as well support it because they are stereotyped anyway." [emphasis mine]

Oh! OK. Muslims in Britain chant death threats to cartoonists, Muslims detonate themselves on the Tube, Muslims attempt to blow up airlines departing from Heathrow ... people start getting suspicious about Muslims and Islam itself ... moderate Muslims turn to terrorism to prove that ... the stereotypes are correct?

Brilliant.

Miss Kohistani has gotten death threats for parading around in a bathing suit. Perhaps she's afraid of being made into shish kebab if she encourages some moderation and restraint among her co-religionists. OTOH, if she's the voice of "moderate" Islam, then Houston, we have a problem.

Chills, anyone?

Neal Boortz lays out a heart-stopping scenario with Iran.

Iran continues to threaten to go nuclear ...

... and the U.S. threatens to take away Ahmadinejad's favorite blanky. From Fox News:

"The State Department has not said publicly what type of punishment it might seek. But U.S. and European officials have indicated they might push for travel restrictions on Iranian officials or a ban on sale of dual-use technology to Iran."

Travel restructions!! Oh, the humanity.

Boortz called it!

Shortly after the arrest of John Mark Karr in connection with the JonBenet Ramsey murder case, talk show host Neal Boortz said that Karr was a poseur and the case would fall apart within a week.

He called it! He's also calling it The Most Expensive Taxpayer-funded Jailbreak, and I tend to agree with him.

Even though Karr now faces only misdemeanor child porn charges in California (and why should child porn charges ever be just a misdemeanor?), his 15 minutes of fame will assure he never gets a job working around kids ever again. And for that, I can deal with several days' worth of nausea-inducing coverage of John Mark Karr and his sick fantasies.

A GGB must-read

"The Buses of New Orleans" (Hot Air)

Allahpundit nails New Orleans' real problem: New Orleans.

Yuck

Tacky. Tasteless.

29-Year-Old Virgin Looks for Mr. Right Now

Crying wolf?

Yet another incident on an aircraft:

Report: 12 passengers arrested after diverted Northwest flight lands

I hate to even think this, but do you suppose that the jihadis are getting smart, creating non-events so that no one will believe it when it's the real thing? Anyone? Anyone?

Steve Centanni and Olaf Wiig: Still missing

For reasons that are up for debate, coverage of missing Fox News journalists Steve Centanni and Olaf Wiig has been scanty. Blogger Michelle Malkin today asked other bloggers to post about Centanni and Wiig to let them and their families know they are not forgotten. And I'm glad to oblige.

From the 1979 Book of Common Prayer:

O merciful Father, who has taught us in thy Holy Word that thou dost not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men: Look with pity upon the sorrows of thy servants for whom our prayers are offered. Remember them, O Lord, in mercy, nourish their souls with patience, comfort them with a sense of thy goodness, lift up thy countenance upon them, and give them peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Fox News headline roundup

As of 12:10 p.m. Central, plus my comments:

Bush: U.S. Assistance Is Flowing to Lebanon
Don't get me started.

JonBenet Murder Suspect Spends Night in California Jail
In other news, Paris Hilton went shopping.

Officials: Iran Turns U.N. Inspectors Away From Nuclear Site
I'm sure no one saw that one coming.

Carter babels: Sea urchins and the auxiliary humans

Cheap fun again with the online translator at Alta Vista's Babel Fish. I translated Carter's quote below into Japanese and then back into English ... or "Engrish," I should say.

"The basic principle person of christianity possesses the unique relationship with the God which is believed, that and their thoughts being prerequisite of thought and God of God of specific problem. Therefore, with definition, it meaning that they speak because of God, originally by mistake it is anyone whom it does not agree to those it does. And the following step is as follows: The people who are not agreeable with those life are not important the sea urchin, originally being inferior in the extreme case, -- the way the basic principle person of some person in your opposite person who when is in the world -- that it is made the auxiliary human.

"As for another thing basic principle person him himself or her herself being to be sign of the equality where negotiation process itself is meant, it is not to be able come accompanying in order to negotiate with the people whom it does not agree to those. For example and so past fundamental starting from history and there is a policy of the thing which refuses the fact that you speak to someone who is in the mismatch where those which are strong exactly in this management. So these are a kind of thing which causes worry in me. And, naturally, the basic principle person the basic principle person the mistake. Exactly it is impossible and to approve the fact that you can do it is possible to make the mistake which is not believed therefore the time we permitting the agony of the prisoner of Guantanamo or Abu Ghraib."

Carter: Christian fundamentalism led to Abu Ghraib

I shouldn't be surprised anymore by Jimmy Carter's breathtaking idiocy, but I am. Carter takes a few quantum leaps of logic and gives us this gem as quoted in a Der Spiegel interview:

"The [Christian] fundamentalists believe they have a unique relationship with God, and that they and their ideas are God's ideas and God's premises on the particular issue. Therefore, by definition since they are speaking for God anyone who disagrees with them is inherently wrong. And the next step is: Those who disagree with them are inherently inferior, and in extreme cases -- as is the case with some fundamentalists around the world -- it makes your opponents sub-humans, so that their lives are not significant. Another thing is that a fundamentalist can't bring himself or herself to negotiate with people who disagree with them because the negotiating process itself is an indication of implied equality. And so this administration, for instance, has a policy of just refusing to talk to someone who is in strong disagreement with them -- which is also a radical departure from past history. So these are the kinds of things that cause me concern. And, of course, fundamentalists don't believe they can make mistakes, so when we permit the torture of prisoners in Guantanamo or Abu Ghraib, it's just impossible for a fundamentalist to admit that a mistake was made."

Ah. The old canard that holding absolute beliefs naturally leads to treating other people with indignity and disrespect. What, the Abu Ghraib guards were all Sunday School teachers? They were getting regular communiques from Jerry Falwell? They looked at their WWJD bracelets and decided to sexually humilate the prisoners?

Carter is being ridiculous. If fundamentalism per se were a sure route to violence and inhumanity, then we'd be dealing with a terror wave of militant Baptists and radical Amish.

But if you need a good laugh, read the entire story.

Breaking news

Colorado Authorities Make Arrest in JonBenet Ramsey Case

And it's not her one surviving parent. (I didn't know until reading this story that JonBenet's mother, Patsy Ramsey, succumbed to ovarian cancer last month.)

If this shakes out, the entire country -- myself included -- will owe John Ramsey one big fat apology. At least perhaps now, justice will be served.

Oh. Sides. Hurt.

From my new favorite blog, God Awful Wedding Crap:

Charming Cake Toppers

Rich would be appalled.

Blingtherapy and techbrowsing

It's a nasty, insane world out there.

The GGB engaged in some serious retail therapy this week to soothe her agitations. Monday night was "blingtherapy." This involves going to cheap accessory stores such as Claire's or Icing and buying totally unnecessary things that sparkle, like stick-on rhinestones for your cell phone and a pink watch. Girly fun for less than $15.

Last night was "techbrowsing." My sweetie fiancé Rich and I cruised Circuit City and lusted over the new breed of palm-sized, completely portable XM Radio receivers. (We both are XM fanatics.) We finished off the night with a quick trip through World Market, browsing for Zen-esque decorating items, and devoured the city's best sushi at Sumo in Patton Creek.

However, we didn't see anything quite as cool as this: MainGear's Prysma Pyramid PC

Blingtherapy. Techbrowsing. Highly recommended.

Ahmadinejad -- what a joke

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is not joking when he talks about eradicating Israel, and in that sense, he should be taken seriously. But when it comes to being a spokesman for a modern-day Third Reich? His performance on 60 Minutes was, in a word, laughable.

RealClearPolitics' John McIntyre wrote about the Iranian president's interview with Mike Wallace: "I found his answers to Wallace extremely cunning, crafty and dangerous." Dangerous, yes. Cunning and crafty? To a 12-year-old, maybe. Ahmadinejad's response to Wallace's questioning about his glorification of martyrdom: "You should understand the definition of martyrdom to appreciate what I've said."

Oh, give me a break. Bill Clinton tried that with the word "is."

Throughout the interview, Ahmadinejad was evasive and coy. He feigned cluelessness, pretending not to comprehend the gist of some of Wallace's more pointed questions. At other times, it seemed like he was reading from Cindy Sheehan's crib notes. And he was consistently disingenuous.

Mike Wallace has been criticized for supposedly soft-balling with Ahmadinejad. In Wallace's defense, he tried his best to wrest straight information from the Iranian president's torqued responses without actually jumping up and strangling the guy, which I found myself wanting to do repeatedly throughout the interview.

But in all fairness, he was slightly more convincing than Baghdad Bob.

Bottom line, it alarms me that such a rank amateur, schooled as he is in the art of seventh-grade debating methods, could have an entire nation under his sway.

Begging for a caption

Newly released photo of Castro with Venezuela's Hugo Chavez.

I don't know what they're holding, and I'm not sure I want to. AFP merely refers to it as a "birthday present" to Castro.

Which frightens me.

Will the Middle East implode?

A quick note: My prayers and thoughts go out to Fox News reporter Steve Centanni and his photographer, Olaf Wiig, who've been reportedly captured by unknown terrorists (not militants) in Gaza.

My question of the day is: Who is left in Lebanon? Who is left besides the Hezbos and people who are either too poor or too brainwashed to get the heck out of dodge?

People might think Birmingham is a cracker town, but you'd be surprised how many entrepreneurs, business owners and professionals here are not Scotch-Irish. I know a bunch of them. They're Cuban and Ecuadoran and Iranian and Lebanese and from a hundred other countries on Earth where twisted and evil governments can't deal with people who are self-reliant, intelligent and resourceful.

I'm no political scientist, but I don't see how you can have a stable society without a robust middle class. And dictatorships tend to purge their own middle classes, either through deliberate oppression or by making things so intolerable, the smart and resourceful people leave.

(I am not saying the masses of Iran or Cuba are all dupes or dummies, but good grief, why would you want to live there?)

I keep waiting for socieites like Iran to reach critical mass where there aren't enough people producing and creating -- they're all oppressing or being oppressed -- and the society just disintegrates. How long can something like that last?

And now, the shoutin'

As I blogged awhile ago, as far as Rich's and my engagement was concerned, it was all over but the shoutin'.

Well ... the shoutin' has commenced! Behold, the Bauble.

Rich popped the question at one of our favorite restaurants last night before a bellydancer friend, who was performing, and a bevy of total strangers. :) (Who sweetly wished us well. One guy even snapped a few digital photos of us and offered to e-mail them to Rich.)

It was sweet, romantic and totally overwhelming! Today, I've enjoyed admiring my left hand and showing off the Bauble to coworkers, people in the elevator, and all of you wonderful GGB readers.

By the way, that's a princess-cut center stone with princess-cut, channel-set diamonds on each side. What you can't see is a nice touch: tiny round diamonds in a circle around the base of the center stone, crown-style. ;-)

I am not making this up

From Reuters: "Theme Park Calls off 'Muslim Fun Day'"

"Britain's biggest theme park has called off the country's first 'National Muslim Fun Day' because of lack of interest, the park said Wednesday.

"Alton Towers in central England was to open on September 17 for Muslims -- with halal food, a strict dress code and prayer areas.

"Music, gambling and alcohol were to be banned for the day and theme park rides such as 'Ripsaw,' 'Corkscrew' and 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' all segregated by sex."

Strict dress code, prayer, no music, no gambling, no alcohol and no boys and girls playing together. Sounds like a fun day to me. :)

Quote of the Day

"And you look at the table across from you, and a woman is sitting there in too tight low-rise jeans and SERIOUSLY? You can see her entire butt and thong. And I guarantee you what happens next: every girl at your table reaches back to make sure that her own derriere hasn't made a break for it, everyone then quietly wonders if she can't feel the draft, and then everyone can't stop looking at her thong, but not in a hot way. In, like, a 'should I TELL her that her thong is hanging out, or is she doing that on purpose?' kind of way. And then she leaves and everyone is relived [sic]."

Jessica at Go Fug Yourself

Like taking candy from a baby

A note to my gentle readers: Please be aware that your humble correspondent, the GGB, uses some very coarse language in the following post. I normally don't throw f-bombs around, and I don't think that ranting and cursing equals insightful commentary or intelligent discourse. However, some days some stories just make me furious and -- perhaps -- too off center to be exactly rational. Nevertheless, I stand by my comments and hope that the reader will understand my frame of mind when I wrote down these words.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can't tell you how furious this makes me.

Michelle Malkin: Abusing kids for "art"

In a nutshell, a kook photographer took a series of photos of toddlers in tears to express her feelings about the "helplessness and anger" she feels "about our current political and social situation." She deliberately made the kiddies cry by snatching away lollipops and then photographed their distress.

I have a two-year-old niece who is the light of my life. Few things make me happier than to see her sunny smile or have her climb into my lap for storybook time. And few things distress me more than to see her upset. It's one thing to take away the lollipop because she doesn't need candy; it's quite another to give her a lollipop then take it away to deliberately upset her!!

WHICH IS WHY YOU HAVE TO BE AN UTTER AND COMPLETE ... pardon my French and my shouting ... FUCKED-UP ASSHOLE TO THINK THIS IS ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR, MUCH LESS "ART."

If you can stomach it, go to Malkin's Web site and watch the actual slideshow. I only made it halfway through before I had to shut the damn thing off because I was about to cry. Tears of rage and empathy. Not tears over some self-absorbed lunatic's "helplessness and anger."

Good God help us all.

UPDATE: Although it's been pointed out that the taking-away-the-lollipop trick is a common method used in Hollywood to get a baby or toddler to cry on cue, the photographer in question also made the kiddies strip and had to usher parents out of the room on a few occasions to get the reaction she needed. This is straight from the horse's mouth -- you can listen to the interview on Malkin's blog.

I'm still big-time uncomfortable with provoking a child to tears for any reason, and especially provoking a string of them while they're nude for the purpose of making a political statement.

Lord, I need to avoid these kinds of posts. I'm getting a headache.

Blingblogging, part 3

The fabulous Rich and I went bling shopping again Tuesday. Let me just say one thing:

When the $10 Wal-Mart huge-ass peach crystal doo-dah I'm wearing right now feels more substantial than some of the rings I've tried on at high-end jewlery shops, something is definitely wrong.

Considering the fact that the wedding industry pulls in billions per year, it's a shame that so few jewelry stores cater to the bride-to-be. Rich has one more bling shop to pre-clear, and if that doesn't pan out, it's Zales all the way, baby!

Another thing I've noticed as a future bride: People getting married do scary things. Like this.

"Being delicious is not everything."

If you say so.

Engrish.com

Blingblogging, part 2

Rich and I did Round 2 of The Great Engagement Ring Search on Saturday morning. Let me just say that if you happen to be in search of wedding bling, I highly recommend Zales at the Riverchase Galleria.

Rich is planning to pre-clear a few other bling vendors, but if none of those pan out, then we have a winner at Zales, and not just because they had beauties like the one pictured here.

• The salespeople knew the difference between a princess cut and a hole in the ground.
• They gave me a place to sit. (Okay ... that might be diva-esque of me, but I'm shopping for an engagement ring, not a pound of sirloin.)
• The display case actually had useful information besides the names of the designers.
• The rings all had their center stones mounted in them. I understand that you might not want your best diamonds on display for the general public to get their grubby hands on them, but looking at a setting with empty prongs and trying to visualize the final product is like looking at a house with the roof missing.
• Their settings were the prettiest I'd seen and distinctly lacked that glitzy, cheap-feeling, overdone "Superbowl Ring" look, as Rich so aptly put it.

And the GGB is starting to rethink her idea of adding emeralds to the mix. Perhaps they weren't the best stones at one place we visited, but Rich's comment on the color: "Lime Kool Aid."

Love shouldn't get you arrested

Maybe there's a reason she's 45 and not married. If I were a man, I wouldn't want to take up with this idiot, either.

Woman asks 911 to send 'cutie pie' deputy

Blingblogging

And now for a more uplifting topic ...

As faithful GGB readers know, yours truly and Mr. Brain Squeezings himself, Rich, are knee-deep in wedding talk. As far as the engagement goes, it's all over but the shoutin'. Rich and I took a first stab at ring shopping last weekend, and we're hitting several stores in the morning. I'm still entertaining the idea of including colored stones in the design, but this little beauty I tried on was a favorite:









Not "The Ring" but a strong contender.

Phrase of the day

"Abu shakah dah."

Arabic literally translated as "this guy with the pee." Refers to a "grownup" who hasn't yet managed potty-training. Used by an Egyptian in reference to Hezbollah leader Nasrallah. Check it all out on "Israelly Cool," a blog by an Israeli in Australia.

http://www.israellycool.com/blog/_archives/2006/7/14/2115843.html