Thursday, February 08, 2007

Marcotte stays on with Edwards; Satan flummoxed

No doubt you’ve heard about the saga of liberal blogger Amanda Marcotte being hired by candidate John Edwards to manage his campaign blog.

Amanda Marcotte’s writing style varies in tone from the incendiary to the downright Hiroshimian. She has an elegant style and vocabulary no doubt inspired by sundry hip hop artists, comment threads on pornographic forums, and Bradley Dingledorf, the pimply, smelly guy who scrawled graffiti on her seventh-grade locker.

Behold this gem of literary fortitude:

“Q: What if Mary had taken Plan B after the Lord filled her with his hot, white, sticky Holy Spirit?

A: You’d have to justify your misogyny with another ancient mythology.”

Convinced that Marcott’s treatise on The Third Person of the Trinity as Human Spermatozoa was merely misunderstood, nuanced satire rather than adolescent brain spew, Edwards said this, defending his decision to retain Marcotte:

“I've talked to Amanda and Melissa; they have both assured me that it was never their intention to malign anyone's faith, and I take them at their word.”

Indeed, rumor has it that the Maligning Bar has been set so high, Satan himself is having a hard time clearing it.

UPDATE: Just for the record, I could care less if John Edwards keeps Marcotte on or not. The fact that her reputation is blighted by vulgarity on a cosmic scale is his misfortune and none of my own. As vile as I think her comments are, I'd rather her come right out and say "f*** you!" than insult my intelligence by feigning innocence about her intentions. Plus, I wouldn't vote for Edwards anyway, but I'd rather the electorate see whose company he's keeping.

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