Friday, October 07, 2005

The Borg-ization of America

Lately, I've been seeing people walk around with these wireless headsets like this:










"Hi ... I'm Bob, and I look like a complete dork."



I'm not talking about wearing them at their desks or while driving a car, I'm talking about in and out of elevators, walking down the street, taking a smoke break -- when they're not actually on the phone.

The GGB is a passionate technophile, but I draw the line at having gizmos attached to my head unless absolutely necessary. I had enough of gizmos attached to my head during second grade when I had to wear an orthodontic headgear to correct a vicious overbite. (The photo below is not me but it gives you an idea of what it's like walking around with enough metal on your head and face to contact Mars.)















I'm afraid that if this trend is allowed to continue, we'll all look like this in seven or eight years:











Only Patrick Stewart could make Borg-ization sexy.


So, please, folks, for the love of aesthetics and your own social life, get the gizmos out of your ears and look like a real member of the human race. Walking around with those headsets just looks stupid, m'kay?

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Bono: Ambassador of grace

I haven't always agreed with his politics ... or the fact that his band played for barely two hours at Legion Field in Birmingham in 1992 ... but I've always loved U2 and the musical glories of their frontman, Bono. (Not to mention the fact that he's really, really sexy. ;^)

I'll never forget the summer I spent listening to The Joshua Tree over and over and over again, never losing the feeling that I was tripping through heaven with each replay on my Walkman. Even now, "Red Hill Mining Town" has a way of lifting me into the third heaven like few other pieces of music can -- be they sacred or secular.

And now, after reading this article in Christianity Today, my respect for the brooding Irishman has gone up about 100 notches:

Bono: Grace Over Karma

His humility and apt articulation of grace are beautiful:

I love the idea of the Sacrificial Lamb. I love the idea that God says: Look, you cretins, there are certain results to the way we are, to selfishness, and there's a mortality as part of your very sinful nature, and, let's face it, you're not living a very good life, are you? There are consequences to actions. The point of the death of Christ is that Christ took on the sins of the world, so that what we put out did not come back to us, and that our sinful nature does not reap the obvious death. That's the point. It should keep us humbled… . It's not our own good works that get us through the gates of heaven.

Time to go play Achtung Baby.

OK bomber update


News organizations in Oklahoma are uncovering fairly clear indications that Joel Henry Hinrichs III, the 21-year-old who detonated himself outside a Sooners football game Saturday, could have been a wannabe jihadist. He had a cache of explosives in his apartment and apparent conncections to the local Muslim community ... not to mention a hideous beard.

<--- Voted Most Likely to Go Out with a Bang??

A good place to start on continuing updates would be Michelle Malkin's coverage of this goon.

As you can tell, this story is getting me cranky. Leaves me in a right awkward position, too, regarding my religion, which says: "Love your enemies."

Right now, I can honestly say I despise this guy and I despise people who want to blow up discos and pizza joints and airliners. And, by extension, I'm becoming suspicious of anyone who is Muslim.

No, I'm not even considering violent or hateful action toward anyone who is Muslim. I know a few Muslims who I like very much. One in particular comes to mind. Amiable guy. Gives me the Arab double-cheek-kiss whenever I see him.

But I also know he treats his wife like doo-doo.

It's crap like that -- from treating women like property to blowing yourself up outside a football stadium -- that makes me want to say, "Will you guys just get with the 21st century or LEAVE???" In fact, forget the 21st century thing. Just leave. Go. Get out of my country and go be uncivilized somewhere else.

I guess there is nothing redemptive about ultimatums, and I don't have any good answers to "WWJD?" But the command to "love your enemies" is something I'm having a real hard time with. I could love them better if I didn't have to deal with them. And I guess that's the point.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Bwah hah hah hah hah!!!!!

Rapture Safety cards prepare parishioners, airline-style

P.S. This is parody, folks.

It's getting kohl'd in here

For your inspection:

"Mindfreak" illusionist Criss Angel:













Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers:
















That's all I'm going to say about it.

Monday, October 03, 2005

It's got a good beat, it's in Farsi, I give it a 10!

And the hits just keep on comin':

In recent days, Iran's airwaves have been buzzing with two new tunes apparently designed to rally public support for the clerical regime's increasingly tense stand-off with the West over its nuclear ambitions.

The first song is entitled "Oriental Sun, Nuclear Science", and sung to a backdrop of military-style marching music by Ali Tafreshi. The second similarly catchy tune is "Nuclear Know-How" by Reza Shirazi.

Now, the GGB has more than a passing familiarity with Middle Eastern pop music, and I guaran-damn-tee you that anything with a military beat is not currently playing in the iPods of the young and the restless on the streets of Tehran.

Reminds me of those gosh-awful music videos of pre-liberation Iraq where mustachioed guys in leisure suits sang pop songs extoling Saddam.

Blech. Give me the liberal media over government-run media any day of the week and twice at Ramadan.

Clooney: He's starting to get it.

Well, sort of.

My favorite liberal actor, George Clooney, is starting to get it: Celebrity endorsements do not help get candidates elected, so he's vowing to keep quiet in the next round of elections. Unfortunately, Gorgeous George fails to grasp exactly why this is:

"My father ran for congress last year (04). I couldn't campaign for him and I knew I couldn't, because I'd hurt him. They tried to get me to get on the JOHN KERRY train and I said, 'We'll hurt him. They'll use us as 'liberal'.'

"Now, I would argue that (throughout) American history, it's pretty hard to find a time when liberals were on the wrong side of an issue. We thought that the conservative view was, 'Witches should be burned at the stake.' Moderate view was: 'Well, just in case,' and the liberal view was, 'There's no such thing as witches.'

"We thought women should be able to vote and blacks should be allowed to sit at the front of the bus and Vietnam was wrong. We haven't really been on a lot of wrong sides for us to be sort of used as this bad word.

I hate to break it to ya, George, but it's ugly caricatures of conservatives as witch-burners and Klansmen that turn people off.

(Not to mention the fact that your assertions are not entirely true. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 had greater Republican than Democratic support, and let's not forget that the segregationist South was largely Democratic. Visual aid: Sen. Robert Byrd.)

We really don't begrudge you speaking your mind about issues or making politically-charged (but artistically excellent) films such as Three Kings and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. It's the broad-brush stereotyping (so prevalent in Hollywood) that makes us grab our remotes.

By the way, hope your back is doing better. Love the villa. :)

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Oklahoma "suicide bombing"

The blogosophere is abuzz about Saturday evening's "apparent" suicide-by-explosives 100 yards outside the OU football stadium where 84,000 fans were gathered. The intrepid Michelle Malkin is covering the story.

The victim in question is a 21-year-old engineering major named Joel Henry Hinrichs. Not exactly the moniker of a suicide bomber, but it begs the question: Did he intend to take some Sooner fans with him but his timer wasn't working?

Nutjob or would-be suicide bomber, no one knows, but this is one story that bears following.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Good grief, not again

You Birminghamians out there might remember Hank Erwin, former host of WDJC's afternoon talk show. Erwin was a fairly popular figure in the '90s among the local evangelical community -- much to my chagrin. Now a state senator, he's making headlines again, claiming Katrina was God's judgment on the sin-filled Gulf Coast.

(As Neal Boortz acidly commented, that explains all the hurricanes in Las Vegas.)

I'll be honest with you, full disclaimer here: I have very little respect for Erwin and have tangled with him from time to time. I might agree with him on many topics in principle, but his vitriol-filled rants interspersed with loony Biblical exegesis have left me wanting to punch a hole in the radio more than once.

One time, I nearly fell out of my chair when he advised a caller that the wine Jesus created at the Cana wedding was, indeed, wine ... it just wasn't intoxicating! (I was tempted to call in and ask if Jesus whipped up some o' that non-intoxicating wine for the Last Supper, but I resisted.) And now, Erwin is cloaking himself with a prophet's mantle and claiming to know God's ultimate purposes behind the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina.

Erwin, IMHO, is making the same sort of buffoonish statements as Falwell did in the post 9/11 days. This issue is not whether God judges sin but whether it is our prerogative to announce God's judgment whenever extreme tragedy befalls our neighbors. I suppose, according to Erwin's logic, we might as well tour the cancer wards and the ICUs and say, "Hey there, friend! What sort of vile sin put you here, huh? You some kind a pervert?"

(And by the way, Hank, have you read the Book of Job lately?)

Furthermore, Erwin talks about "godliness" and "churchgoing" and "godly living" but never mentions Jesus, the only sinless person and the only one who can save us from sin and judgment, hurricanes or no. And then he recommends these things so we'll be under "divine protection" from Mother Nature's wrath.

(Again, Hank, read the Book of Job lately?)

As for why Katrina did happen, I'm inclined to agree with the Methodist bishop quoted in the article:

"I have no idea what sort of senator or politician Mr. Erwin is, but he's sure no theologian," William Willimon, bishop of the North Alabama Conference of the United Methodist Church, told the News. "I'm certainly against gambling and its hold on state government in Mississippi, but I expect there is as much sin, of possibly a different order, in Montevallo as on the Gulf Coast. If God punished all of us for our sin, who could stand?"

Indeed.

This avian flu thing is for the birds

Got a health e-newsletter today with this apocalyptic headline:

"Officials Predict Global Bird Flu Epidemic"

The GGB is still reading up on a recent outbreak of avian flu in Asia (which, so far, has mostly affected -- you guessed it -- birds). However, I find it hard to work up a sweat when I read pronouncements like this:

Avian flu can be lethal when transmitted to humans, and has killed dozens in Asia to date.

Dozens? We're not even up to a hundred yet? Don't more people die from choking on popcorn? The GGB will investigate further. In the meanwhile, wake me up when there's real news to report.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Boobs for peace ... yeah, that's the ticket

Anti-war protesters got nekkid in front of the White House as part of Cindy Sheehan's Mother-Love-Salvation Show.

It was not a pretty sight, but check out these links from Little Green Footballs if you need a good laugh.

And they accuse conservatives of being deranged? Color me modest, but I'm smart enough to know which body parts not to expose in public.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Guffaw of the day

It never ceases to amuse me when people who are obviously contemptuous of Christians and Christianity attempt to lecture the masses on who is and who is not a "real" Christian.

Exhibit A: British MP George Galloway on Politically Incorrect.

Is it just me, or does Bill Maher's face look like marzipan?

CORRECTION: Bill Maher's program is called Real Time.

Rita throws a tantrum

Alabama is getting hit by a rash of tornadoes today from the remnants of Hurricane Rita, which is now just a low pressure system.

Earlier today, we were outlooked by the Storm Prediction Center for a minor risk of severe weather, but our local weather forecasters have been on the air in wall-to-wall severe weather coverage since at least 3 p.m. CDT today.

A Tornado Watch for the Birmingham area, which originally was to expire at 7 p.m., has been extended to 1 a.m. Monday.

At least we're getting some much-needed rain!!

Media Center XP rocks

The GGB has been a total slug this weekend.

Between two hurricanes and a major business initiative at my place of employment, I am just about worn out. Tired of being in emergency mode!

My antidote this weekend has been to play with the Media Center functions on my PC. I don't care what all you Linux snobs say (and you know who you are!!), Media Center XP rocks.

I explored the Online Spotlight feature and downloaded two films via Movielink. Way, way cool. A Streetcar Named Desire and White Noise played flawlessly. I felt utterly cool recording JFK on cable while watching downloaded films. And via the Media Center guide, you can set the system to record TV programs and movies and a future date whenever they are scheduled to be aired.

I love living in the 21st century!!

Adding insult to injury

Some Katrina evacuees in Tuscaloosa County, Ala., living in FEMA-supplied trailers have gotten hit by a tornado -- a spinoff from Hurricane Rita.

OUCH.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Friday, September 16, 2005

QotD

"Many in every age have disturbed society by stirring up the poor against the rich, and by preaching the popular doctrine that all men ought to be equal. But so long as the world is under the present order of things this universal equality cannot be attained. Those who speak against the vast inequality of men's fates will doubtless never lack an audience; but so long as human nature is what it is, this inequality cannot be prevented.

"Take all the property in our country by force this very day, and divide it equally among the inhabitants. Give every man above the age of twenty an equal portion. Let everyone share and share alike, and begin the world over again. Do this, and see where you would be at the end of fifty years. You would have just come back around to the point where you began. You would find things just as unequal as before. Some would have worked, and some would have been lazy. Some would have always been careless, and some always scheming. Some would have sold, and others would have bought. Some would have wasted, and others would have saved. And the end would be that some would be rich and others poor."

-- J.C. Ryle (1816-1900) in Practical Religion

Monday, September 12, 2005

Reason to avoid Internet dating, #279

Married doctor woos two women, telling them he was married to them in a past life:

Ah, the old "married in a previous life" trick (Reuters)

Crescent controversy

The GGB is back from a weekend in Atlanta and a virtual news blackout. Thus, I missed Friday's news about the unveiling of the plans for the Flight 93 memorial. In case you, like me, have been out of the loop, here's an artist's rendering of the memorial design:



















"Alex, I'll take 'Things that remind you of Islam' for $500."

Michelle Malkin has tons of coverage here about the so-called "Crescent of Embrace." Even the name is creepy. Lord help us.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

A much-needed humor break

I can take only so much of the foamy-mouthed rantings of Celion Dion, Angelina Jolie and Al Sharpton. For all who feel my pain, here's some medicine:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/mightyrikimaru/44935.html?mode=reply

(Hat tip: Boar's Head Tavern)

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Emergency Alert System -- asleep at the wheel

The GGB did a little research and discovered this USA Today article from 2003 and this Wired News article from just last year about major problems with the Emergency Alert System (EAS).

According to Wired, the EAS did not activate on Sept. 11 in New York City, nor did it activate to warn Southern Californians of deadly fires last year. And USA Today says that the "blanket" coverage of EAS is not what the FCC would have you believe.

If the president needed to warn the nation of an impending nuclear attack, he would have access to thousands of TV and radio stations to do so. But for state and local emergencies, the system is spotty at best. Even if the president were to activate the system nationally — something no president has done — he would reach only those people tuned in to a TV or radio network.

And here's a gem:

Michael Brown, the undersecretary for emergency preparedness and response, says the department isn't going to "jump in with both feet" [to develop a new national warning system]. He says the public will rely on news media for information during major disasters.

Will rely or should rely? Of course, apparently even Brown doesn't have cable in his particular section of Cluelessville. Here are some chilling words from the Wired article:

... many experts conclude [that] the Emergency Alert System is a mess. And as federal officials begin to launch efforts to expand emergency alerts to cell phones and the internet, critics say they need to spend time and money to preserve the creaky existing system and, perhaps more importantly, put someone in charge nationally.

"Unfortunately, I think it will take a major catastrophe where hundreds of thousands of people are killed for people to understand what (we) have been saying," said Jim Gabbert, who oversees California's Emergency Alert System and serves on a national advisory committee that's been sounding the alarm about alerts for two years.

Makes me feel all secure, doesn't it you?

UPDATE: In searching further for articles about the EAS, I'm turning up far more articles about the EAS being used in conjuction with AMBER Alerts than I am stories about it being used for weather or civil emergencies. I don't want to sound unsympathetic, but emergencies that threaten public safety are more urgent than missing children and should have the whole force of the EAS behind them.

UPDATE II: EAS not activated during San Diego firestorm of 2003. But it worked swimmingly to recover three abducted girls in Texas in 2004.

This is only a test

In response to an Instapundit blog post about the things we've learned from Katrina, a reader posited a very important question:

I haven't heard anything about the Emergency Alert System in relation to Katrina. Was it on? Did it work? Did it provide any useful information? I would think that a system that's been tested weekly since the 50's would have been pretty reliable.

According to the FCC's Web site on the subject, the EAS can broadcast an emergency message on all AM, FM and broadcast TV stations and on any cable system with more than 10,000 subscribers. The EAS was developed so that the president could directly communicate with the nation in the event of a national crisis, but since 1963, the system is authorized for local and state use as well.

Thus the question: Was the EAS activated?

I've actually heard people interviewed who claimed they weren't aware of the impending danger of Hurricane Katrina. I find that difficult to believe. On the other hand, plenty of people can't tell you who the vice president is, so it's entirely possible to live in an information vacuum, even in the information age.

Here in Birmingham, our civil defense siren system is activated for tornado warnings. However, if you cannot hear the siren and (A) do not have a weather radio that can be activated by the National Weather Service or (B) are not tuned in to local TV, you could very well be unaware that a tornado is approaching. If you're watching MTV or The Golf Channel, you will miss the warning unless your cable provider interrupts the broadcast or scrolls a message across the screen.

Seems to me that if we're spending money on the EAS, then every time an event such as a tornado or hurricane threatens public health and safety, the EAS should activate and transmit a message across all radio, TV and cable signals.

Our local meterologists constantly preach on the necessity of a weather radio with an alert feature so that you can be warned of severe weather at night during sleep. (Weather radios can be activated for civil emergencies as well.) But for those who aren't plugged in to NOAA or the local news, "we interrupt this broadcast" ought to become a familiar phrase.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

QotD

You gotta laugh or you'll just cry ...

... Sen. Mary Landrieu, who seems to think she’s cute when she’s mad, even threatened on national television to punch out the president — a felony, by the way, even as a threat. Mayor Nagin, who you might think would be looking for a place to hide, and Gov. Blanco, nursing a bigtime snit, can’t find the right word of thanks to a nation pouring out its heart and emptying its pockets. Maybe the senator should consider punching out the governor, only a misdemeanor.

-- columnist Wesley Pruden

Thomas Sowell -- GMTA

Read Sowell's column about rebuilding New Orleans. Echoes much of what I said here.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Rebuilding New Orleans -- from the inside out

How to shore up those levees -- and whether it's a good idea anyway to have a city below sea level -- are not the biggest questions New Orleans needs to answer. Before the city rebuilds the infrastructure, it needs to rethink rebuilding the community itself.

I'll never forget my first trip through the New Orleans airport. I was at baggage claim, and I looked up to see a poster advertising a local strip joint. That'd never fly in Birmingham, I thought. In fact, now that I think about it, I don't think I've seen fleshpot advertisements in any other airport, and I've been in some big ones: Houston, Atlanta, LAX.

And thus, the big difference between New Orleans and most other American cities. Sleaze, seediness and sin are in your face in the Big Easy. You almost can't get to the sublime food, music and culture without stepping over barf in the streets, without walking past photos of every sex act imaginable posted outside darkened clubs.

A friend who's from this area returned home last year after living some time in New Orleans with her husband and young daughter. She's a bohemian, liberal, nonconformist. I figured New Orleans would be the perfect fit for her, but she told me flatly: "New Orleans is no place to raise a child. The people there are lazy. My husband had the hardest time getting people to work for him."

Don't shoot the messenger -- I'm just relaying what she said.

Another friend, a guy from Phoenix, said you don't do business in New Orleans from about noon Thursday to sometime Monday afternoon. No one is sober enough.

The implosion of the Big Easy is at least partly because the city was already rotting from within. You cannot have a culture of drunkenness and shiftlessness, vice and corruption, murder and mayhem and be expected to hold it together when all hell breaks loose. All the gumbo and king cake in the world can't help you when the waters are rushing in.

Before New Orleans can be rebuilt physically, the people who return there are going to have to think about what sort of city they want spiritually and socially. They're going to have to think about what their city will spend its money on: restoring vintage architecture or advertising strip clubs. They're going to have to rethink Bourbon Street and Mardi Gras. They should keep Cafe du Monde and Pat O'Brien's, but maybe it's time to relegate the sex shows and the street drinking to the outer limits of the city and make the French Quarter safer for women and children.

If New Orleans is to rise again and survive, she'll have to be a different city. She has too many charms not to be built on a more solid foundation of responsible community and governance.

The Helpless, the Clueless and the Lawless

Without pointing fingers, I think it's obvious even now that the Titanic-sized disaster of the breakdown of New Orleans was the result of bad decision upon bad decision, made over the years by bureaucrats and politicians and engineers and city planners and architects and ... the list goes on.

But some things you don't think of -- such as the volatile mix of people that created the hellhole of the Superdome. Or maybe you should have thought of it.

There's never been a diaster of any kind where such a large number of people wound up concentrated in such a small area. And this group was not a representative sample of the populace of New Orleans. No, they were members of three different groups I call the Helpless, the Clueless and the Lawless.

The Helpless: The elderly, the chronically ill, pregnant women, babies, young children. Old people and infants dying from heat exhaustion and dehydration in the richest nation on earth is an utter disgrace. Why more public resources (like alllll those unused buses) were not dedicated to their evacuation is beyond me. It was part of the city's diaster plan but NOT IMPLEMENTED.

The Clueless: The non-English-speaking tourists who apparently don't know what a hurricane is were clueless by no fault of their own. Others who stayed behind -- I hate to say -- stayed because they're morons. Case in point: a conversation Fox News' Shepard Smith had with a bar patron. (I'm paraphrasing.)

Smith: Hey, man, why haven't you evacuated?

Moron: Well, I think things are going to be all right. We've been through hurricanes before. The levees are designed for a category 3 hurricane anyway.

Smith: But this is a category 5! A category 5, man!!

Moron: Well, I think the city has prepared for that. The levees can handle a category 3.

Smith: BUT THERE'S A CATEGORY 5 HEADED STRAIGHT FOR NEW ORLEANS!

Moron: It'll be OK. We've been through hurricanes before.

The Lawless: Arthel Neville, a New Orleanian and former Fox News contributor, told Greta Van Susteren of a harrowing tale she'd been told by Superdome evacuees: A man raped and murdered a seven-year-old child! (He was promptly disposed of by 10 men who beat him to death. Personally, I applaud the posse who dispatched this pathetic piece of crap to his eternal destiny.)

Rape and murder of a seven-year-old. Despicable. Why wasn't there a police contingency at the Superdome?

The Helpless, the Clueless and the Lawless. A deadly, deadly mix.

Katrinaspam

Today I got my first "Katrinaspam," some doofus who claimed the Red Cross was coordinating with some outfit in the UNITED KINGDOM.

Yeah, that makes all the sense in the world.

Be warned, folks. Disasters bring out the best and the worst in people. Hucksters and scammers will abound.

Sad.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

"Nobody told me there'd be days like these"

An acquaintance and I were talking over coffee about -- what else -- the hurricane, and she said, "You know, from all that's happening, I just have to believe that Jesus is coming back soon."

I reminded her that starvation and violence and catastrophe have happened every day, somewhere on the planet, since the beginning of time. This evening, I heard on the news that a typhoon hit China this week and displaced one million people. They just had their own Katrina, but it was barely a blip on our radar screen.

With all due respect to my friend (who conceded that I had a point), I get annoyed with the hubris of American Christianity and its assumption that catastrophe here is a herald of the Tribulation but catastrophe elsewhere is just business as usual. What, God is going to spare America from the machinations of nature and the forces of evil until the clock is about to run out?

Like everyone else who believes in historic, orthodox Christianity, I concur that Jesus Christ "sitteth upon the right hand of God the Father Almighty, from whence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead." Beyond that, I part ways with many of my evangelical compatriots.

Beginning with Hal Lindsey's Late Great Planet Earth in the 1970s and most recently with the Left Behind series, evangelical end-times theology has centered around America as a sort of final staging ground of the end of days. In other words, it'll get bad here before the Tribulation, then we'll all disappear before the really, REALLY bad stuff starts happening.

Tell that to the Christians in China. Or North Korea. Or Sudan. Or just Google "persecution against Christians" to find some stories that'll give you nightmares.

Now, Lindsey has a Web site called "Hal Lindsey Oracle.com." Oracle. What, he's a prophet? Does this bother anyone else besides me? Lindsey has been predicting for nearly 40 years that the return of Christ is imminent, and I mean within-the-next-five-to-ten-years imminent. I wonder how many people made professions of faith based on that spurious (and now, obviously discounted) claim and have since drifted away.

(Oh ... Lindsey's site also features a collection of silly and trivial "witnessing" mugs and T-shirts, including one that shows John 3:16 and the words "FIRE INSURANCE." Makes me want to hurl.)

I'd rather take the position that my own pastor did this morning: Hurricane Katrina is just the latest in a long line of evidence that we live in a fallen world. When catastrophe gives birth to depravity and death, we really shouldn't be surprised. Appalled, yes. Compassionate, yes. But surprised?

When Christ warned about "wars and rumors of war" and natural disasters, I think he was saying that this would be the condition of the world until he returned.

And no one is exempt.

Katrina satellite images

Collected at NOLA.com. Click here.

Some Hollywoodites are walkin' the walk

Props to musician Macy Gray for flying to Houston to visit with evacuees there and pitch in a helping hand to volunteer. Ditto to New Orleans native Harry Connick, Jr., for going to New Orleans to help out.

Who's minding the store?

If you haven't been reading Michelle Malkin lately, she is tracking just about everything out there regarding Hurricane Katrina.

Even though I'm ready to send Al Sharpton to bed with an aspirin and a teddy bear, practically no one in the conservative blogosphere is giving the government -- federal, state OR local -- high marks for the handling of this catastrophe. In the reaction against the vile and ridiculous accusations of deliberate racism, we cannot simultaneously protect the government from some well-deserved ridicule and blame.

Exhibit #1: The failure of the City of New Orleans and the State of Louisiana to use public transport vehicles to evacuate the poor. Would that not have made perfect sense? Why in hell were the predators and the prey of the city all shuffled into the Superdome with the near-certainty that the city would be innundated? Just today Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco authorized the use of public school buses for evacuation. TODAY! The hurricane hit on MONDAY and we knew it was headed for New Orleans LAST SATURDAY.

Exhibit #2: Homeland Security Chief Mike Brown's assertion that Katrina would be a "standard hurricane." Yeah. He said that last Sunday. Anyone with a television KNEW that the National Weather Service was sending out apocalypic warnings. My guess is the guy doesn't know what the heck he's doing and it's CYA time. Boy, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy that such a doofus is running Homeland Security.

Exhibit #3: We knew for years that a New Orleans flood was a disaster waiting to happen, just like we knew for years that terrorists had plans to hit a major American city. Again, anyone who watches The Discovery Channel knew that because of its geographical situation, New Orleans' could NOT sustain a direct hit by a major hurricane.

My fifth-quarter assessment is the New Orleans catastrophe was the sad result of a very long string of bad decisions and shuffled responsibility made over the years by bureaucrats and politicians at all levels.

Trivia break

The sordidness and heartbreak of the whole hurricane story is getting me down. Time for a little levity:

I was joyous yesterday when I stopped at a gas station for a snack and saw that Mountain Dew had brought back their Pitch Black soda for Halloween, but with a twist: Pitch Black II is billed as "a blast of grape flavor with a sour bite."

I give it a thumbs-up. At first, I was wanting the sweet flavor of the original Pitch Black, but the more I drink it, the more I'm pleasantly reminded of the flavor of SweetTarts or Pixie Stix of my childhood.

This is really no time for me to get hooked on sugared sodas again, but hey, it's available only through early November.

Rehnquist dies

Chief Justice Rehnquist Dies of Cancer

I anticipate much moonbattery in the coming days.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

The $64K question

Did anyone catch Geraldo Rivera and Shepard Smith reporting from N.O. last night during Hannity & Colmes?

Geraldo's melodrama nothwithstanding, I was stunned, completely stunned at what the trapped New Orleanians are having to endure. Shepard Smith kept waving toward I-10, saying that there was a way -- at least on foot -- out of the city, but a checkpoint had been established and anyone who tried to leave was being turned away.

What in the crap is going on?

Why not leave on foot? Are they trying to control exit of the stranded? Are they afraid that outlying towns, where there still are utilities and resources, might be victimized by the desperate?

From the chaos we've seen at the Superdome, that might be a reasonable fear. On the other hand, as long as people are literally starving and cooking to death on interstate overpasses, seems a pretty brutal thing to keep them from leaving.

I dunno. Only conclusion I can come to is that the powers that be were caught flat-footed, and there has been no clear and decisive leadership from the get-go.

On the other hand, when was the last time in modern American history that an entire major city was put out of commission? Answer: Never. We just haven't seen anything like this before.

God help us.

Un-frickin'-believable

New Orleans, pre- and post-Katrina

http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/facility/new-orleans-imagery.htm

Blame game

VodkaPundit shares this tantalizing tidbit from an AP story:

Gov. Kathleen Blanco, standing beside the mayor at a news conference, said President Bush called and personally appealed for a mandatory evacuation for the low-lying city, which is prone to flooding.

That story was dated Saturday, Aug. 28 -- the day meterologists and weather realized that Katrina was jogging west and would head for the Big Easy. (Read the story for yourself here.) Another telling quote:

"This is a once in a lifetime event," the mayor said. "The city of New Orleans has never seen a hurricane of this magnitude hit it directly," the mayor said.

He told those who had to move to the Superdome to come with enough food for several days and with blankets. He said it will be a very uncomfortable place and encouraged everybody who could to get out.

Translation: Bush personally begged for evacuation. The CITY of N.O. -- headed by a black mayor -- directed stranded people to the Superdome. (Granted, with a warning about conditions.)

Now, no one should have to die or be raped or whatever because they couldn't evacuate or, in some cases, just didn't prepare adequately.

But my question is: Why didn't the government -- including City of New Orleans -- provide some sort of public transportation out of New Orleans? If we can just stay away from the conspiracy theories and the race-baiting, it's a valid question to ask.

To Hollywood: thumbs-down and a one-finger salute

Forget what I said about Hollywood pitching in to help Katrina victims.

I missed NBC's relief concert last night, and I'm glad I did. Rapper Kanye West went off-script and smeared the President (and virtually every non-black American) with the most vile and racist accusations. According to the AP:


Appearing two-thirds through the program, he claimed "George Bush doesn't care about black people" and said America is set up "to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off as slow as possible."


Yeah. This is the America that's made you rich and famous. (You can even download Kayne West ringtones.)


Comedian Mike Myers was paired with West for a 90-second segment that began with Myers speaking of Katrina's devastation. Then, to Myers' evident surprise, West began a rant by saying, "I hate the way they portray us in the media. If you see a black family, it says they're looting. See a white family, it says they're looking for food."


Granted, the concert was full of entertainers such as the sublime Harry Connick, Jr. and Aaron Neville, New Orleans natives, who are above that kind of nonsense. But what genius picked West to be on this program in the first place? Read on:


While allowing that "the Red Cross is doing everything they can," West who delivered an emotional outburst at the American Music Awards after he was snubbed for an award declared that government authorities are intentionally dragging their feet on aid to the Gulf Coast. Without getting specific, he added, "They've given them permission to go down and shoot us." [bold mine]


This is a guy who records songs with lyrics like this:

And we gone stay hustling on the block until we caught
And we gone stay showing off that jewelry that we bought
And we gone stay heated in case it's in and out of court'
Cause we some gangstas, I don't know what the f--- you thought

Hello!!! Earth to America!!! The thugs stealing plasma screen TVs and shooting at law enforcement officers -- who do you think they listen to??? Sheesh.

NBC has stated that West's comments were unscripted and in no way reflect the opinions of the network, but Matt Lauer's wimpy apologetics at the end of the broadcast don't make me feel all warm and cozy:


... Lauer noted that "emotions in this country right now are running very high. Sometimes that emotion is translated into inspiration, sometimes into criticism. We've heard some of that tonight. But it's still part of the American way of life."


No, Mr. Lauer, that wasn't "criticism," it was SLANDER against our Commander in Chief and every non-black in this country. It was perverse, ignorant, racist excrement. You should have just left it alone instead of trying to recast it as good ol' American dissent.

And whether NBC realized West was a loose cannon is irrelevant. He's a rap pornographer and has no business being on a charity concert during family hour.

Give me a friggin' break.

Tell ya what, Hollywood. Just keep your money. You're going to need it. You insist on showing your contempt and ignorance, and you wonder why fewer and fewer Americans are buying your CDs and watching your movies.

Idiots.

ADDENDUM: Do I think the federal government's response has been effective or speedy? NO. Do I think the State of Louisiana or the City of New Orleans had a handle on things? NO. However, you cannot reduce this situation to a simple "blame Bush" formula, and the suggestion that Bush and all of non-black America would be pleased as punch to see black people die is reprehensible and profane.

I think we've just seen race relations set back about 20 years, thanks to provocateurs like Kanye West.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Bloggers unite for hurricane relief!!

The GGB will keep the post on top for the time being. Scroll down for newer posts.


The Katrina Blog for Relief Effort has been extended through the Labor Day weekend, and your humble correspondent is jumping into the fray. So far, nearly 1,500 blogs from 24 nations have joined the rally.

The GGB is proud to endorse World Vision, an international Christian humanitarian agency with a fine record of fiscal responsibility and effective intervention. If you have not donated to a charity organization yet, I highly recommend World Vision.

If you happen to donate to World Vision because of this post, please e-mail me and note the amount of your contribution so we can add it to the tally. This is on the honor system, so please be honest!

So far, bloggers and their readers have donated or pledged nearly half a million dollars!! Let's get those numbers up even more!!

Well, they don't all hate us

Australia announced a donation of $8 million to the American Red Cross. “The United States is so often at the forefront of international aid efforts to help less fortunate nations,” Foreign Minister Alexander Downer said. “So it is only fitting that Australia should contribute to the daunting task of helping the thousands of American citizens whose lives have been thrown into turmoil by this unprecedented disaster,” he said.

Thank YOU, Minister Downer!!

UPDATE: The Hurricane relief international honor roll : nations that have offered support, according to the Associated Press.

Australia
Austria
Bahamas
Belgium
Canada
China
Colombia
Cuba
Dominica
Dominican Republic
El Salvador
France
Germany (uh ... thanks)
Greece
Guatemala
Guyana
Honduras
Hungary
Indonesia
Israel
Italy
Jamaica
Japan
Lithuania
Mexico
Netherlands
New Zealand
Norway
Paraguay
Russia
Saudi Arabia
Singapore
South Korea
Spain
Sri Lanka
Switzerland
United Arab Emirates
United Kingdom
Venezuela

A fascinating list -- some of these countries are our steady allies, others aren't exactly bursting with resources but still are offering help. Their generosity is touching.

And now, a word from the lunatic Right

I was just waiting for something like this to happen.

The blogmaster of Eve's Apple reports that she received an interesting bit of e-mail from an outfit called Columbia Christians for Life. I'll summarize:

The e-mail includes a satellite shot of Katrina that, if you squint your eyes and hold your mouth correctly, somewhat resembles a fetus. (Just like the speckles on this wheat cracker I'm eating look like morse code for ELVIS IS ON MARS.) The conclusion? God is judging New Orleans for its high abortion rate. REPENT NOW!

I guess after the backwards-masking craze wore off, they had go lookin' for encoded messages somewhere.

The GGB is pro-life but largely agrees with pro-lifer Kathy at Relapsed Catholic:

This unattractive face of the pro-life movement is inadvertently responsible for the continuation of abortion, because most self-respecting, intelligent, mature people can't bring themselves to campaign side by side with them. [bold in the original]

At least Robertson and Falwell have, to my knowledge, managed to keep their pie holes shut.

Note to the moonbats: Talk to the hand

A contingent of the unhinged Left is blaming Bush for pretty much the entire Hurricane Katrina catastrophe.

One particuarly repulsive person is refusing to give to hurricane relief efforts because he says the Red Staters elected Bush and put conservative policy in place that, according to him, is to blame, and therefore it's the Red States' problem, not his.

Never mind the inconvenient fact that the urban blacks who are suffering so badly in New Orleans more than likely voted Democratic, but what's the truth when you have an irrepressible urge to show your rectum to the whole world? I dare this guy to get a bullhorn and a boat, go down to the French Quarter and tell those people why he's not going to help out.

I'm not going to link to him or any other moonbat. I'm not going to name them. I'm not going to post comments on their blogs. Google them if you want to. I've already spent five minutes perusing their bile, and that was five minutes too long.

True Americans already have them figured out.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Hollywood responds!

I'm still waiting for that callback from George Clooney, but meanwhile, Broadcasting & Cable reports that NBC, MSNBC and CBNC will simultaneously air a benefit concert Friday night featuring artists such as Harry Connick, Jr. and Tim McGraw.

(Hat tip: Michelle Malkin, who's doing a bang-up job of covering the hurricane aftermath.)

Compass Bank pledges $250K in matching donations!

Compass Bank, based in my hometown of Birmingham, Ala., is accepting American Red Cross donations and has pledged a matching donation of $250,000!!!!

If you live in any of the following areas, please, please drop by your Compass Bank branch, even if you aren't a Compass customer, and double your money for hurricane relief:

Alabama: all major cities
Northern Florida: Pensacola, Ft. Walton, Gainesville, Jacksonville and surrounding areas
Texas: Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Austin and surrounding areas
New Mexico: Albuquerque
Arizona: Phoenix and Tucson
Colorado: Denver area

Live TV feed available from New Orleans

WDSU in New Orleans is broadcasting over the Internet here. (Hat tip to Rightwing Nut.)

They just reported that previously-buried caskets have washed up on the beach in Mississippi. No one is sure where they came from.

:: shudder ::

The GGB will have an update later about a blogosphere-wide effort to raise funds for various charities tomorrow.

Katrina relief kudos

Kudos to the Birmingham and Hoover, Ala., fire departments for sending heavy rescue teams to Gulfport.

Kudos to the New York City Fire Department for their decision to send rescue personnel to the Gulf. As one FDNY spokesman said this morning on Fox, it's their turn to repay the nation's kindness during 9/11.

RFK Jr. is an ass

I know I said I would back away from rants and try to focus on constructive, well-mannered commentary, but this guy is a piece of work:

Robert F. Kennedy Jr.: “For They That Sow the Wind Shall Reap the Whirlwind”

And I'm sure Mr. Kennedy has private aircraft that run on canola oil. Do us all a favor: Get out your fat wallet, write a check to the American Red Cross and shut the hell up.

Mr. Clooney, call your office




















The Gulf Coast cries out for help. George, are you listening?

Hey ... I really love your movies. I know some would flay me alive for saying this, but I still plan to hit the theaters this fall to see Good Night and Good Luck and Syriana, even though they appear to be highly politicized from what I've read in previews. But I'm a grownup, I can handle it. I like you that much. I even liked Solaris.

But after all the wailing from Hollywood about Iraq and Africa and whatnot, the only news story I can find about Hollywood's reaction to Hurricane Katrina is this piece. Maybe it's too early, but are you guys gonna do anything about your own countrymen suffering in virtual Third World conditions down South? Yeah, down here in the Red States. Flyover country.

You were involved in the (in)famous Sept. 11 star-a-thon. On many fronts, this is worse. Fewer lives lost but multitudes displaced, entire cities shut down, our gas and oil supply compromised, and the economic futures of hundreds of thousands of people at stake. Will you and Julia and Brad and Angelina rise to the occasion? Will ya put your money where your mouth is?

I thought I'd put the challenge out there to you because although I don't find your political views appealing, I am a genuine fan. Ask anyone who knows me. I'm not so reactionary that I cannot enjoy what you bring to the silver screen. And at times like these, surely we can get back to being Americans again and forget about politics and partisanship.

I've put more than one dollar in your wallet, and I'd really like to see you step up to the plate help my neighbors -- your neighbors.

George? Are you listening?

UPDATE: Sublog reports that a Stephen King-owned radio station is helping the relief efforts. (Thank you, Michelle Malkin.)

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Katrina aftermath

No way I can compete with pix from the Gulf Coast, but here's a sample of what's happened locally.

These pine limbs were hitting the roof all night. I figured as long as I didn't hear a crash, I'd be OK. This morning, the whole neighborhood smelled of pine.



















Down the street, this tree wasn't so lucky.

Drinking lessons

Once again, a major national story is diverting Greta Van Susteren, et al, from the Natalee Holloway story. One could only wish that Van Susteren would have the journalistic cojones to shake Beth Twitty's hand, offer her condolences and say, "Mrs. Twitty, our nation is facing war, soaring gasoline prices, assaults on our Constitution, and a continuing threat from Islamofascists. I feel sorry for your family, but I have a job to do."

Nevertheless, I agree with Marianne Jennings that the Natalee Holloway saga has an important underlying lesson that few are willing to admit. As Jennings puts it:

Jimmy Stewart chivalry has expired. Young men slip mickeys (or whatever they are called now) into young women's drink to get them truly amenable to romance, a charitable label for their planned activities with the fairer sex in a stupor. Liquor + nightclubs + young attractive women = Trouble, When did we lose this wisdom?

The GGB has her own story about this. In my junior year of college, I got rip-roaringly drunk at a party hosted by a married couple I knew very well -- or so I thought. They let me crash on their couch so I wouldn't kill myself trying to drive home. The husband -- thinking I was unconscious and with his wife sleeping in the next room -- unfastened my clothing and fondled me. He stopped when I woke up. I shudder to think what would have happened if I actually had been out cold.

He was someone I never perceived as a threat. Never, never, never. Yet I came dangerously close to full-on sexual assault because I pounded down four drinks in rapid succession in an attempt to have a good time. And I was 21 and legal -- three years older than Natalee Holloway and, you'd think, old enough to know better.

I'm not blaming Natalee Holloway for the fact that, more than likely, she's dead. But folks, let's be clear-headed about this. Anytime you drink to excess, you are assuming a certain amount of risk. That risk increases if you are female, young and in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people.

Natalee Holloway either was too drunk to think straight when she got into a car with three young men, or she was drugged and lured away. Either way, she was too young, too naive and too inexperienced to be partying in a foreign country with virtually no adult supervision. She took an unnecessary and unwise risk and, in my opinion, I don't think her parents were acting wisely either when they let her go on this trip.

And if that's the lesson we take away, then maybe all the media coverage was worth something.

Katrina epilogue

All is well at Casa de GGB. Lost power sometime after 9 p.m. last night (not sure when -- I hit the hay early). Woke up at 2 a.m. to a dark house and pine branches about 1.5 inches in diameter on my deck. Power came back on (surprisingly) at about 8:20 this morning.

All in all, an easy night compared wtih what's going on on the Gulf Coast. My prayers and thoughts are with everyone affected by Katrina.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Katrinablogging

Well ... hurricanes have their upside. Got to leave the office at 2:30 p.m.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Solving a decades-old mystery

Thank goodness for the Internet.

Today, I finally discovered what the heck Larry Gatlin is singing at the end of the chorus of the song "Love Is Just a Game." For nearly thirty years, I sang the words as "the winners walk out laughing / the losers cry tears again," even though I'd swear that Larry was singing "the losers cry teal again," which makes absolutely no sense.

Maybe heartbreak has something to do with teal. I know I was heartbroken once at having to wear a teal bridesmaids dress, but that's another story entirely. I just couldn't figure out why these poor saps were running through the streets decrying a shade of blue-green. "No! Not teal again! No! No! No!"

Now, the mystery is solved.

The correct lyric is "the losers cry, 'deal again.'" Ah! The game metaphor is thus complete.

Monday, August 22, 2005

We interrupt this blog for a brief rant

Actually, it's not my rant. This prime piece of rantism is courtesy of DumbCelebs.com.

Here’s my advice to Democrats: Stop with the national self-loathing, the nazi comparisons, the ridiculing of the red staters, the hatred of religion, the militant abortion rights, the incessant demands for raising taxes, the demonization of the Patriot Act, the petty refusal to confirm qualified judges and all the other mean-spirited garbage you’ve indulged in over the last 5 years. Just because you disagree with the president on tax relief or foreign policy doesn’t mean he’s a right wing Jesus fascist with dry drunk syndrome and the IQ of a chimp. Instead, recognize that the real fascists are Islamic, propose some realistic social programs that don’t break the bank, admit that school vouchers are a good idea in most cases, get on board with tax reform and at least admit that it might be possible that social security really is in trouble. You might actually win a few elections if you do that.

What he said.

And now, deep thoughts on Cindy Sheehan

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................................

14 children and pregnant again?

Nope ... this isn't a preamble to a speech on the welfare state.

Yesterday, I saw a Discovery Health Network program about the Duggar family of Arkansas. Said family is raising 15 children (the latest, Jackson Levi, born just recently) without the help of the government and, by all accounts, are doing a pretty bang-up job of it.

The Duggars, headed by Jim Bob, 38, and Michelle, 37, are in many ways practicing a lifestyle that harkens back to the 1800s when large families were the norm and there was no such thing as Nintendo, MTV or iPods to take away from family time. We are so infatuated in this culture with radical individualism and having as few kids as possible to impinge on our lifestyles, I think we tend to forget that the typical American family of 2.3 children is something of a recent invention and hardly a global cultural norm.

Admirably, the TV program was upbeat and complimentary about the Duggars' lifestyle. They are obviously devout Christians (of some very conservative Evangelical stripe, but I don't know which), and the show completely avoided the sneering, contemptuous tone you might otherwise expect from the MSM. (For commentary that is sneering and contemptuous, click here.)

These people are not rednecks. The homeschooled children are remarkably intelligent, well-behaved and self-assured. The home is clean and well-ordered. I think we all could take a few lessons from the Duggars about personal responsibility, devotion to family and simplicity of living. Our kids would only benefit if we had less TV and more outdoors playtime, less Internet and more playing the violin, and -- dare I say -- more siblings and less stuff?

So ... why am I not in a mad rush to recommend that we all live exactly like the Duggars?

Well, first of all, a disclaimer: Whatever the Duggars' flavor of Christianity is, I do not subscribe to it. That is, I don't have a problem with married couples using contraception. The Duggars, however, have chosen to take the natural route and have as many children as God sees fit to give to them. Fair enough -- I just don't see Scriptural warrant that that is the way it must be done. I'm also not opposed to women wearing pants or shorts and cutting their hair, whereas the Duggar women do neither. But, again, I don't quibble with their convictions.

However, I'll be honest here: Once you get into the rural South, you occasionally see folks of this stripe, and you can spot the women a mile away. It isn't just that they don't cut their hair or wear slacks or jeans. For some reason, they wear the ugliest, frump-granny jumpers and potato-sack dresses. While the gentlemen look a ready for a business lunch with their crisp chinos and polo shirts, the women range from looking like poorly-dressed kindergarten teachers to refugees from the cast of The Waltons. The Duggar females are no different. The plaid and the ankle socks and the white collars the size of Texas are hideous. And don't get me started on the hairdos.

I'm not trying to be cruel here, I just don't understand why the women have to look anachronistic and frumpy in the name of modesty and devotion, especially when the men blend in with the general population. There are plenty of flattering clothes on the market that adequately cover the body and many flattering ways to wear long hair. Between the extremes of Britney Spears and Laura Ingalls, isn't there a happy medium?

My only guess is perhaps modesty is not enough -- perhaps they believe the women ought to look distinct and different than other women for the sake of, well, looking distinct and different. Which leads me to my second point ...

The Duggars have a huge family, no debt, no TV, no Internet and no iPods -- and that right there puts them outside of the mainstream of American society. However, Christians were never called to mainstream and be like everyone else. We are called to live differently and have different priorities, which often the general culture fails to understand.

BUT ... and this is a big "but" ... I don't think the radical kind of cultural isolation the Duggars have is necessarily a good thing. I am opposed to "enclave Christianity" where believers create their own hermetically sealed microcosms of existence and have virtually no exposure to the larger culture. Besides Jim Bob's professional and political career, I don't see any evidence that the Duggars interact significantly with those who live differently than they do, nor do they seem to have any points of commonality with people in general.

To put it bluntly, they live in their own world. Sure, I applaud them for keeping gangsta rap and porno out of the house. That's not the issue. But Jesus told us to go into all the world to make disciples. The only way the Duggars' lifestyle can be self-sustaining over the generations will be to reinforce the "differentness" and isolation. I have my doubts as to whether that fulfills the Great Commission or is merely an interesting social experiment.

Jesus freely interacted with the common folk of his day. He did not sin, yet he was a "friend of sinners," so much that he won the reputation of being "a glutton and a wine-bibber." However, I noted in the program that the Duggars' primary -- and, from what I gather, only -- social outlet are other members of their "home church" who are rearing their children in the same way.

So, kudos to the Duggars for chucking the worst of American life and culture. But there's a great big world out there.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Y kant gies rede?

(Better known as: "Why can't guys read?")

I'm about ready to cash in my memberships at two -- count 'em, two -- online dating services and hire a yenta.

Yes, the GGB continues her elusive search for Mr. Right. In the meanwhile, I have met more than one Mr. Lack of Reading Comprehension Skills. Perhaps I'm just not communicating well. I'm considering publishing Dating the GGB for Dummies, including the following handy glossary of Things I Want in a Man:

Educated. Generally, this means that you are educated beyond high school. It also means that you show signs of actually being educated, such as the ability to string together a coherent sentence and spell short words correctly.

Between the ages of 30 and 42. This means that you are actually between the ages of 30 and 42 according to an objective source such as your birth certificate or your driver's license. It does not mean that you look or act like you are 30-42, have been told you look/act like you are 30-42, or were cryogenically frozen at 30-42 and have recently been defrosted.

Unmarried. This means that if you and I were to get married, we would not be charged with bigamy. And no, "separated" does not count.

Stable. This means that you do not call your landlord "Dad."

Christian. This means that you are a believer in the Christian Gospel and a faithful participant in the faith. Thinking that Jesus is "cool" or having gone to church once since Jimmy Carter was in office do not count.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Back in the saddle

Hi, folks.

Been awhile since my last post. The GGB is considering in which direction to take her commentary. It is easy to rant, but I am not sure anymore if that is the best use of this slice o' cyberspace.

This occurred to me as I watched coverage of the London bombings and the stunning revelations that many of the men involved in these crimes were natural-born or naturalized British citizens. As you might imagine, I felt several rants coming on and my fingers were itching to get to the computer.

Then I remembered some stories I've read recently about Sudan. Black Christians in the south who previously had been tormented and brutalized by Islamicized (is that a word?) blacks now are helping their former enemies. Now it's the black Muslims who are being turned on by their Arab counterparts, and the black Christians are living out Jesus' command to "love thy enemies."

So ... how do you respond to what happened in London without turning up the heat and extinguishing the light?

One thing I won't do -- I won't morally equivocate and try to explain away or diminish the real evil of boarding a double-decker and detonating yourself and everyone else within striking distance. But how do you love such people?

I have no easy or pat answers. And whatever answers I could give could be too easy anyway since I'm neither the victim nor a family member of a victim of the WOT.

Nevertheless, as I said, simply ranting is easy and cheap. If I'm going to say anything at all, I'd rather it be useful.

In the meanwhile, for those of you who need a laugh, check this out.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Coincidence? You be the judge.

Just turned on the TV, and simultaneously, The Learning Channel was broadcasting Tattoo!: Beauty, Art and Pain and, on the Discovery Channel, The Human Canvas: Sacred Skin. And A&E is plugging the heck out of their upcoming dramatic series: Inked.

Hm.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Dennisblogging: Epilogue

Never fear, the GGB is here!

My electricity, however, went out at around 4:45 p.m. Sunday (WAY before any of the bad stuff hit) and was not restored until nearly 9 a.m. yesterday. (Time to clean out the fridge! Everything must go!)

After I got home from work yesterday, it took awhile for me to figure out how to reset the LAN ... then I got wrapped up in a phone call with a friend from Phoenix ... and I had to capture some home video I shot over the Fourth of July of my irrepressibly cute niece ... you get the picture!

I think we really had an (affirmative) answer to prayer, folks. Dennis was no cakewalk, but things could have been catastrophic, and they weren't. Of course, some folks did get hit hard, and to them the GGB extends her thoughts, well wishes and prayers.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Dennisblogging, part 8

Rain continues here in the B'ham area. We are simultaneously under an Inland Tropical Storm Warning and a Tornado Watch, and one local meterologist has advised that no one should be on the roads between 9 p.m. tonight and noon tomorrow.

Looks like the Alabama Gulf Coast will be spared the worst of Dennis -- he has made landfall well east of the state, which means the prevailing winds will be blowing water away from the Gulf. Still, this is no cakewalk for anyone near Dennis, and we all feel for the Floridians who will get the brunt of this storm.

Oddly enough, because of the change of storm track, the TS Warning for Birmingham may be upgrade to an Island Hurricane Warning later today!

But the GGB is wearing her favorite storm tracking shirt and is ready for anything. More later ...

Dennisblogging, part 7: Beach web cams

Links courtesy of ABC 33/40:

Orange Beach
Panama City

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Dennisblogging, part 6: This is not good

It's been raining for about three hours. It began about 10 minutes after I took photo #2 below. Already, parts of Jefferson County are under a flash flood warning.

The latest forecast track takes Dennis right over the Florida-Alabama line. As Dennis heads northwest, that means southern and central Alabama will be on the east side of the hurricane -- the side that gets the more powerful inbound winds and the lion's share of the rain.

Stay tuned ...

Dennisblogging, part 5: Photoblogging

There goes the first boom. The sky is getting blacker by the minute. (Note the time stamps on the photos, but add an hour. My camera apparently doesn't automatically update when we switch to Daylight Saving Time.)

6:14 p.m.:















6:31 p.m.:

Dennisblogging, part 4: The catometer

So far, the catometer (cat-o-meter) looks good vis a vis the approaching Dennis. Both of mine look as if they could care less:


















If anything, I think they look annoyed that I interrupted their afternoon naps. Sorry!

Dennisblogging, part 3: Dennis Hall of Fame

Hurricane Dennis. We don't like him here at GGB Central. Here are some guys named Dennis we do like:








Dennis Quaid. If you're a sci fi fan and haven't seen Frequency, check it out.








Dennis Miller. What can I say? This guy's a comedic genius and a conservative. (Kinda handsome, too.)








Dennis DeYoung. Never met a high note he didn't like. I'd "Come Sail Away" with him any ol' day.

Dennisblogging, part 2: Jimmy Buffett fantasies and fond memories



Ooops ... wrong Dennis. But while we have him here, let's gaze at him for a moment before going to ...

... this Dennis.


Scary.

It's Saturday morning, 10:30 a.m., and already things are beeping at me. Between the weather alerts I get on my cell phone from our local ABC affiliate to Weatherbug chirps on my desktop, Hurricane Dennis action is already heating up. (Speaking of heat, it's already 91 degrees here in the Magic City. Yikes!)

Can you tell I'm a weather nut? Did you have any doubt?

My area already is under an inland tropical storm watch and a flash flood watch. I-65 between Mobile and Montgomery already has been relaned for all-northbound traffic to accommodate the refugees.

My heart breaks for those people. They've already been through hell with Hurricane Ivan back in September. I haven't been to the Gulf since summer '04, but I read yesterday that about a third of the condos in Gulf Shores and Orange Beach still are uninhabitable. Another hit, and it could be a VERY long time before the Alabama Gulf Coast fully recovers.

Our Gulf Coast is one of the real treasures of living in this state. The old-world flavor of Mobile ... the unbelievably charming Fairhope on the opposite side of Mobile Bay ... the dazzling white beaches of Pleasure Island. The thought of losing any of it makes this Alabama girl very, very sad -- along with pretty much all of the four million people in this state.

For most Alabamians, the Gulf Coast is a treasure box of sweet memories. I'll never forget a weekend I spent in Fairhope about 10 years ago to attend the wedding of two church friends. The bride was originally from Fairhope, and what a cool place to call home. EVERYTHING in that town of about 10,000 is pretty. Even the trash bins are hidden within clean, white wooden boxes with impatiens planted on top.

Three girlfriends and I made the long trek down after work one Friday night. We'd rented a cottage at a B&B called Villa Whimsy. Before settling in, we stopped at the famous Old Bay Steamer for piña coladas and fresh seafood. We sat along the restaurant's built-in aviary and watched chartreuse and aqua birds hop and flutter.

Later -- very tired and very full -- we found Villa Whimsy and checked into what I can only describe as a Jimmy Buffet fantasy: The walls were covered with bamboo up to about six inches from the ceiling. The rest of the walls and ceiling were painted midnight blue with gold stars. The king-sized bed had ship's rope wrapped around the four posters. The TV sat on what looked like an old ship's chest with Mardi Gras beads spilling out.

We all just looked at each other and smiled.

The next morning, our hosts prepared a delicious breakfast and served it to us on the deck that looked out onto Mobile Bay. The afternoon wedding was at an old church in town, the reception at the bride's home, "Peppermint Cove." (EVERYTHING in Fairhope has a cute name.)
I could give you several more stories ... the week I spent on Dauphin Island on a school trip in 7th grade ... a thunderstorm witnessed two years ago from the deck of a condo in Gulf Shores ... more than one good meal eaten at landmarks such as Hazel's, Coconut Willie's and Live Bait.

I'm reminded of a few lines from a Jimmy Buffett tune, "One Particular Habor":

I know I don't get there often enough
But God knows I surely try
It's a magic kind of medicine
That no doctor could prescribe


I wasn't able to make my annual trek to the Coast this year because of all the moolah I had to shell out for the Big Move.

I just hope there's something waiting for me when I finally return.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Dennisblogging

Hurricane Dennis, that nasty little bugger, is about to stir up trouble for us Alabamians. And yes, even Birmingham -- some 300 miles from the coast -- can get clobbered when you have a hurricane this strong headed straight for you.

I am deeply concerned that our beautiful Gulf Coast, still torn up from September's Ivan, cannot handle another battering. In fact, if Dennis remains a category 4 or -- shudder -- becomes even stronger, this could be catastrophic.

Meanwhile, I know more than one person who had trees fall on their homes during Ivan. Lucky me, I didn't even lose power. But if you know anything about Birmingham, you can't go anywhere without running into a tree, and there are LOTS of 'em around the GGB's new domicile. Nevertheless, I plan to stick it out and will hopefully be able to blog from my iPaq downstairs if being in the office upstairs looks a little dicey.

More to come ...

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Solidarity with Britain






Thanks to an idea by Michelle Malkin, I, too, will keep the Union Jack flying up top today. Scroll down for updates.

God bless the people of the UK.

From The Guardian: If you need information on someone who may have been injured in the attack, the British police have listed this emergency hotline number: 44-0870-1566-344.

UPDATE: Reuters reports that the London attacks fit the Al Quaeda pattern.

UPDATE II: I can't help wondering if it's mere coincidence that this attack occurred the day after London was awarded the next Olympiad. Certainly rubs salt on the wound.

UPDATE III: Timeline of this morning's events.

UPDATE IV: From an Islamicist Web site:

“Rejoice, Islamic nation. Rejoice, Arab world. The time has come for vengeance against the Zionist crusader government of Britain in response to the massacres Britain committed in Iraq and Afghanistan.”

Is it just me, or do all terrorist press releases/proclamations sound like bad dialogue from a third-rate adventure movie shown at 2 a.m.? Maybe Al Quaeda is populated with frustrated screenwriters and guys who flunked their literature classes. Who knows. They all sound like they're trying to write a new chapter of the Quran or something. What miserable, pathetic jerks trying to make something of their miserable, pathetic lives.

I heard the news today, oh boy

Oddly, I had intended to title yesterday's post "I heard the news today, oh boy," but another Lennon tune seemed more apropos.

A few random notes:

Now that innocent people are dying on Western soil again, the people who blow up planes, trains and automobiles are "terrorists" rather than "insurgents." (Although I've noticed the AP is scrupulously avoiding the t-word except in direct quotes.) Speculation abounds as to whether this is the job of Islamicists or, rather, the IRA or an anarchist group. (My money's with Al Quaeda, but we'll see.) Tony Blair looked noticably shaken in his press conference. I have no idea if this will galvanize the British against terrorism and in favor of the WOT or if they'll crumple like the Spaniards did. Considering how they've dealt with IRA "insurgents," I'm assuming the former, but I could be wrong. The UK is in a much different situation vis a vis its Muslim population than the U.S., and the UK does not have a large evangelical Christian population, a group that is a primary engine of pro-Israel sentiment in the U.S.

Will be interesting to see how this unfolds. Not to be cavalier, but at least I can get some real news now.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Imagine there's no heaven? No thanks!!

It's these kinds of stories that make you thank -- and question -- God:

Shasta: Duncan Kidnapped, Molested Dylan and Me (Fox News)

Thank God that happened to no kid in my family ... but who would want that to happen to ANY kid?

The atheists say there is no good answer to evil such as this, and therefore there is no God. I do believe in God, but I have no good answers to evil such as this, either. At least, no answers that soothe the soul and brighten the spirit when there are monsters roaming the countryside who devour innocent children.

But I cannot take John Lennon's advice and imagine that there is no heaven, and no religion, too. No, John, I'd prefer to believe there is a heaven where Dylan now is safe in the arms of God and no molester or murderer ever can touch him ... and a hell where an unrepentant child molester and murderer receives justice.

Is it not stories like this that drive home the fact that yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as evil? If we cannot find it in six million Jews murdered or 3,000 executed in burning skyscrapers, can we not find it in the living nightmare of rape and murder committed against children? Can imagination or affirmation or meditation fix that???

Thursday, June 30, 2005

White House hypocrisy over Mexican stamp

The White House is criticizing Mexico's issuing a stamp that features a cartoon character that unflatteringly depicts blacks. I wish the White House would worry more about Mexico's outrageous complicity with illegal border-crossers than a silly stamp.

Yeah, the stamp is offensive, but it's really none of our business from an international relations standpoint. However, it is very much our business when Mexico City issues a guide on crossing the border, including illegal crossings!!

Bush needs to stop doing the Macarena with Vincente Fox and dam up the borders. That we have not had a domestic attack since 9/11 is perhaps more due to sheer dumb luck than brilliant foreign policy.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Liveblogging the Richard Scrushy verdict

11:47 a.m.: Much blather about Scrushy leading prayer with his "Amen Corner."

(For those of you not familiar with the trial, Scrushy suddenly decided to join a mostly black church after he was indicted. He also hired a black attorney. Birmingham proper has a large African-American contingency. I'll let you draw your own conclusions.)

11:50 a.m.: The GGB prediction -- he'll get off scot free. Not because I think he's innocent.

11:51 a.m.: Anyone who's ever worked for HealthSouth will tell you the idea that Scrushy knew nothing about the fraud being perpetrated by the corporation is complete bupkus.

11:58 a.m.: Verdicts being read. He's been acquitted on one conspiracy count. Waiting for the others.

11:59 a.m.: Counts 1-15. Not guilty.

12:03 p.m.: Not guilty on all counts. What did I tell you?

Schmuck.

Monday, June 27, 2005

The quotable Coen brothers

Inspired by AFI's 100 Top Movie Quotes, I thought I'd share a few of my faves from the Coen brothers' O Brother, Where Art Thou?, one of the most quotable movies ever.
  • "Damn, we're in a tight spot!"
  • "You two are dumber than a bag of hammers."
  • "I've said my piece and counted to three."
  • "We ... thought ... you ... was ... a ... toad!"
  • "I'm the damn paterfamilias!"
  • "Well! Ain't this place a geographical oddity! Two weeks from everywhere!"
  • "Mrs. Hogwallop done R-U-N-N-O-F-T."
  • "Is you is or is you ain't my constituency?"

Fairly unbalanced

I've had about as much as I can take of the Dead & Missing Kids Revue and the Gitmo Follies.

Spent considerable time at my computer Saturday working from home, so much of the time I had Fox News keeping me company. Over the course of several hours, here were the big stories:

- Natalee Holloway is still missing.
- Detainees at Gitmo eat better than our soldiers and get free ice cream if they're good.
- Three little boys died in a car trunk when it accidentally shut.
- A 14-year-old girl died from a shark attack in Florida.

Not one ... not ONE ... mention of the watershed Supreme Court decision from last Thursday that basically said the government can take your property if Mr. Big Land Developer wants it. If I didn't follow blogs, I doubt I would have known about this.

Folks, as much as I love FNC, this is ridiculous. Aside from the minor public service value of these missing/dead children stories, at the end of the day, it doesn't make much difference to me. Not that I don't emotionally respond to these families' plights. I do, and my prayers are with them.

But for the love of Pete, Fox has Geraldo Rivera and Greta Van Susteren in Aruba detailing every sniffle. Meanwhile, the Supreme Court is using the Constitution for toilet paper.

(And don't even get me started on Gitmo.)

So, dear Fox, please, alert me if they find Natalee Holloway or if they actually charge someone with a crime. (I have yet to figure out the Dutch legal system.) Until then, could we have some real news?

UPDATE: Oh, I forgot. They also mentioned that Runaway Bride Jennifer Wilbanks was interviewed by Katie Couric and her story may be made into a TV program.

Lord. Help. Us. All.

Wilbanks supposedly said that she ran away because she was afraid she couldn't be the "perfect wife" for her fiancé, John Mason.

No argument from me, Jen!

Thursday, June 23, 2005

We make lousy gods, part III

(See my first two posts on this subject here and here.)

Michael Jackson and a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet. Funny where you find a little revelation.

In my two earlier posts on this topic, I talked about how fame and money screws with your head. Too much of it and you start thinking you're the Supreme Deity and live in a fantasy world of your own construction while, to the rest of the world, you just look like a buffoon. And to have the audacity to commission a painting of the Lord's Supper with yourself in the role of Christ as Michael Jackson did. Sheesh.

But I realized that Michael Jackson simply put his money where the human heart is. Frankly, we all like to star as God, don't we?

And what about that Excel spreadsheet? Oh yeah. I was working on my finances earlier and realized I'd severely overshot my budget for the month. At his height, Michael Jackson was worth half a billion. I earn about a hundreth of a percent of that, and I don't do that well with it. Would I do any better if I were earning gobs of money? I doubt it.

Michael Jackson had the money and the power to live out the basic human tendency: To do exactly what we want to do and not have anyone else tell us "no." Not that that is an excuse for reprehensible behavior. I hope that even if I had his fame and bank account I'd refrain from committing (alledged) felonies, and I'd appreciate it if he'd do likewise.

But if you had such power and insulation from the real-world consequences of your actions, just what sort of demons would come crawling out of the darkness?

I am glad I am not Michael Jackson, but in the cosmic scheme of things -- compared with God -- I am no "better" than he is.

We make lousy gods, part II

As I originally wrote here, human beings don't do well with near-omnipotence when they're suddenly rich and famous -- a la Michael Jackson.

So you can imagine how my ears pricked up when an interviewee on last night's broadcast of Why Michael Jackson Won (A&E) said that above his bed, Jackson has a painting of the Last Supper. Except the figure seated in the center is The Gloved One himself, not Jesus Christ.

::: shudder :::

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Some clear thinking on Gitmo

I won't waste your synapses on a rant on Senator Dick Durbin. (I've already waxed eloquent on outrageous Nazi analogies here.)

Kathleen Parker rightly observes today that Gitmo deserves some scrutiny nonetheless, and Durbin's rantings are a distraction from some real problems at Gitmo, namely the sexual humiliation of male detainees by female soldiers.

Note: Might want to wait 'til after lunch to read this.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya ...

Question:

If Natalee Holloway had disappeared in Deadhorse, Alaska, would half of the world's journalists still be there?

And now that the Michael Jackson trial is over, will the other half of the world's journalists be jetting down to the Caribbean to speculate on who gave Joran van der Sloot that hideous haircut? (Note to the media: Please stop pronouncing the young man's first name as "urine.")

I must say, thought, I do relish the sight of Fox News' Rick Leventhal in his tropical whites.

Meow meow

Now HERE's something you don't see every day:

Oregon Cat Born With Two Faces

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Cosmic narcissism

Via the Mudville Gazette, via Michelle Malkin, here's a charming story of "pastor" Fred Phelps of "God hates fags" fame in action again, this time protesting at the funeral of a fallen US servicewoman:

Phelps protests funeral

It's difficult to put into words how much I despise stunts like this.

This is beyond the pale. As far as we know, the late Corporal French wasn't even gay. (Not that that would justify anything.) Rather, Phelps is claiming that US deaths in Iraq are God's judgment against his church being bombed six years ago.

::: long sigh :::

Cosmic narcissism and religion is a very bad mix.

'Nuf said.

Why Thriller went to File 13

This pretty much sums it up.

Monday, June 13, 2005

My prediction

Michael Jackson will continue to play house with underage boys, if the adulation of the courthouse crowd is any indication of people's persistent stupidity when it comes to celebrities.

There will be another incident. This man is incapable of self-control. His head would explode if he did the very thing to protect himself from future allegations: Stay away from children.

And just for the record, my old cassette tape copy of Thriller went to File 13 some time ago.

Jacko verdict

::::: eyes rolling :::::::

He's bad, I know it.

UPDATE: To the person holding the "repent" sign -- I agree with your sentiments, but please, put down the poster board. You make us (Xians) all look silly.

UPDATE II: Watching him walk out of the courtroom, I think Jackson is on Xanax and ludes.

UPDATE III: If the verdict had been guilty, just what would that woman have done with the doves???

Folks, I have to admit, this is our legal system working properly, so to speak. They had no direct evidence and the accusers seriously lacked credibility.

However, our society is NOT working properly when a man who sleeps with underage children is venerated by screaming throngs.

God help us.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

The inmates are running the asylum

All right, I'm getting cranky again.

Check out today's Nealz Nuze at Neal Boortz' site. (Today only -- I think the page refreshes daily.) Scroll down to "Border Insecurity." Deranged Canadian Gregory Despres was allowed into our fair land after customs agents relieved him of a homemade sword, a hatchet, a knife, brass knuckles and a chainsaw stained with blood.

Apparently his arsenal of weapons -- coupled with the fact that he's straight of central casting for a part in the next Friday the 13th film -- was not enough to get his sorry self sent back to Canada. (Which highlights the absolute inanity of customs enforcement. We spend millions keeping weed from entering the country, but a maniacal, chainsaw-toting Canadian? No problema!)

Well, wouldn't you know it. Mr. Despres wound up murdering an elderly couple. The husband's head was cut off and stuffed into a pillowcase. Is anyone surprised? Anyone? Anyone?

If this isn't proof positive that the people in charge of our border security are brain damaged, I don't know what is.

And one more thing: I am seriously beginning to think that Jennifer Wilbanks is on something.

Almost famous?

Although I'd never want to be as famous as Michael Jackson, it's trés cool to get a little recognition for your work.

The GGB was mentioned in a roundup of "blonde bloggers" at Blogcritics.org. Specifically mentioned was my rant about the f-word documentary. (And the challenges of reading Neal Stephenson when you have ADD. Oy vey!)

Should I tell them that I'm actually closer to brunette now? Mmmm ... nah ...

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

We make lousy gods

You have to feel a little sorry for the King of Pop.

Yeah, I think he's a creep, too. I don't believe for a second that all he did with his bedmates was have milk and cookies and read Dr. Seuss.

But Michael Jackson may, in part, be the victim of "godhood" imposed on him by unparalleled talent, outrageous luck and a mass media machine to make it all happen. When you have a multi-million-dollar bank account, a fairtytale home and the adulation of millions who worship at the Church of Michael, you can pretty much do what you want ... even if that includes hacking your face into a death mask.

Fabulous wealth + worldwide fame = self-destruction. Look at Elvis Presley. At least he stuck with chrome suits and Krispy Kreme as his vices. Nevertheless, he ended up dying on the toilet in his early 40s. Who thinks that Michael Jackson will make it to 60, either in or out of jail?

It's not good to be a god when you're just a human being. Virtually unlimited influence, power and wealth? Elvis couldn't handle it. Michael Jackson couldn't handle it. Who could?