Self-reliance: What a concept!

Finally.

The government is advising people that you cannot always expect the government to pull your arse out of harm's way:

New York Times: As Hurricane Season Looms, States Aim to Scare

"This save-yourselves approach comes after government agencies were overwhelmed by pleas for help after last year's storms and strongly criticized as not responding swiftly or thoroughly enough to the public need. Now, officials have said repeatedly, only the elderly, the poor and the disabled should count on the government to help them escape a hurricane or endure its immediate aftermath."

Now, if we can just instill this attitude on about 1,578 other issues, we'll be doing good.

(Hat tip: Drudge)

This week's Bad Taste in Men Award

A juror who sent Scott Peterson to death row is now his pen pal. She describes him as "charming" and sez he showers her with compliments.

Sweetie, let me tell you something. You gotta watch out for those super-handsome charming types. At the very least, they tend to be full of themselves. At the very worst they, well ... they tend to be Scott Peterson.

FOXNews.com - Former Laci Peterson Case Juror Now Pen Pals With Scott

A little Happy Bunny citizen action is in order

I have this magnet on my refrigerator:

I know. It's rude and juvenille. It's also called for after the cosmically STUPID action taken by a majority of the Senate today.

Both of my senators -- Richard Shelby and Jeff Sessions (who's been a GODSEND in all this immigration reform nonsense) -- voted against the steaming pile of poo that was the senate version of the immigration bill. They can keep their jobs, for now.

I just wish I lived in Arizona so I could try to vote that pinhead John McCain out of office at my first opportunity. The idea of McCain getting the GOP presidential nomination makes me want to hurl. McCain versus Hillary. It's like having to choose between having hot coals shoved into your eye sockets and a hydrochloric acid enema.

Got some fries to go with that whopper?

"Since the beginning of my administration, the government of Mexico has promoted the establishment of a new system that regulates the movement of people across our border in a manner which is legal, safe and orderly."

-- Mexican President Vicente Fox, speaking in Utah

This is the same government of Mexico that has published booklets on how to cross the border illegally. Read more:

BREITBART.COM - Fox Says Immigration Challenges Friendship

I am sooooooo sick of this story

Note to Madonna: Aren't you getting a little old for this?

And this woman writes children's books?

Madonna concert review: 'Even the bouncers looked scared' the Daily Mail

Snort warning: Put down your coffee before reading. It's hilarious.

(Hat tip: Drudge)

Grateful for small favors

For all we know, the two Saudi men who boarded a school bus in Tampa could have, truly, been confused, thinking they were boarding a public bus.

However, after lying about their nationality and telling about ten different stories about why they boarded the bus, the GGB guesses that these two were up to no good but were too stupid to work out a cover story in advance.

Behold, Tweedle Al-Dee and Tweedle Bin-Dum:








If these guys are jihadis, one only hopes that the rest of 'em are as equally knuckleheaded.

With apologies to Adam Savage

Read David Limbaugh on how politicians and pundits are out of touch with the Amerian public on the illegal immigration issue.

Crap!

I want me some of these imprinted with Che Guevara's mug.

Liquid Shirts: Custom Made Toilet Paper

Ahmadinejadhitler

This should scare you. And piss you off.

Iran eyes badges for Jews - canada.com network

And now from the "No S--t, Sherlock" department ...

"If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms."

-- Televangelist Pat Robertson

Robertson also revealed that July will be hot, someone will blow something up in the Middle East, and either Katharine McPhee or Taylor Hicks will win American Idol.


Read the whole thing: Pat Robertson Predictions, Evangelist Says God Told Him Tsunami Might Hit U.S. This Year - CBS News

Taylor is in the 'Ham!!!

The Taylor Hicks parade was earlier today right outside my office. Got pix and video.

It's gonna take me awhile to come down from this one, folks! I'm a little starstruck.

More later.

UPDATE: Photos I took are here. Video is here. (Video should open automatically in Windows Media Player but might take two tries.)

The GGB Quote of the Day

"Needing to show up or tune in at a specific time for media is so 1998."

-- Rich at Brain Squeezings on the appeal of asynchronous media

For all you children of the 80s out there ... whoo!!!!

Taylor Hicks Pacman.

No lie.

Don't get me wrong. I love our hometown boy Taylor. :) But that is dang funny.

And check this out:

Taylor Hicks Dancing Game

And I really liked tamales, too ...

Dad gummit. I hate it when politics gets in the way of my enjoying all things international.

I shouldn't even have to defend myself this way, but I'm gonna. I really love stuff and people from other countries. Always have. Credit my natural curiosity or the multicultural flavor of Generation X children's shows like Sesame Street, but I've always appreciated the exotic, the unknown, the different.

I was in middle school when I became fast friends with an American-born classmate of Ecuadorian and Cuban immigrant parents. I heard about how the Communists in Ecuador stripped their family bare, and they came to the United States for another chance at a good life. I watched as her mother -- a divorced woman with two girls -- learned English and got an education and leaned on her faith in God and her family's love. I watched as they moved from a small but neat apartment in the local government housing project to a pretty home in a middle class neighborhood. Both of the girls -- who had lived abroad as children and didn't speak a lick of English when they moved to Birmingham -- got excellent grades and went on to college and lives of their own. The American dream at work. Cool!

I also sat amazed at holiday gatherings where the adults congregated in the kitchen, speaking rapid-fire Spanish, while we youngsters watched MTV in the playroom. I ate tamales. I worked on my Spanish. I saw how they loved each other and loved a good party and loved freedom. They were true Americans but with a unique flavor that added to my own experience.

It was an instructive time and part of the reason why I went on to study Spanish in high school and college, earning entry into the National Spanish Honor Society. I learned the thrill of communicating entirely in another language, became friends with a Mexican exchange student, worked on a mission trip in Mexico and gained a deep appreciation for the spirit and character that define what it is to be Latino.

And now, I find myself getting sick.

My Ecuadorian pals came to my homeland, brought something unique to share with us gringos but also embraced the best of what America has to offer. They were American and Hispanic; loyal to their country but fond of the homeland; assimilated but not homogenized.

Now, as I watch angry protests and hear bitter slander of America as a supposedly racist and hostile country ("we hate you, but let us have your money and services"), I wonder what in the world happened. What, was I wrong? There's nothing good about being American? Learning English is tantamount to ethnic cleansing? You can't love America and be true to your heritage at the same time?

The rewriting of the national anthem was a blow to the gut. It makes me ill because it is a repudiation of everything that America -- fallen and erring as it is -- has tried to be for the wanderer and the oppressed. All we ask is that you give as well as take. Give our culture a chance as we are continually lectured on respecting other people's cultures.

I realize that lazy governing and sleazy business practices have put us in this jam. Hey, I've seen Mexico -- and not the touristy part. It festers with poverty and truncated opportunity. If I had a chance to escape to America, work for what amounts to an exorbitant wage by Mexican standards without paying taxes and with free social services to boot, I don't know that I'd turn it down.

Yet I am not willing to just lie back and take this abuse without protest. Call me a racist if you want -- I think I've demonstrated that I'm hardly a xenophobe and probably more multiculturally aware than the average nortemericano. But if I have to just open my wallet and bend over with no protest to avoid being called something nasty, NO THANK YOU. I refuse to piss on my country, and as long as some "activists" are doing the same, you can forget my support.

Two years ago, I was on an airplane next to a Mexican-born American woman in her 60s. We were in Houston, waiting to pull away from the concourse. I noticed she wore a red, white and blue scarf with a Liberty Bell print. True to her culture, she actively engaged me in conversation, telling me all about the grandchildren she was flying to visit. A couple of men a few rows back were chatting in Spanish -- hardly uncommon in Houston. I didn't pay them any particular mind, but she watched them for a moment, turned back to me and sniffed, "English is not that hard to learn! I don't see why they don't learn to speak English."

We talked more, and I learned she was an eager consumer of the American dream and damn proud of it -- but again, hardly homogenized or stripped of her Hispanic flavor. I wonder what she thinks of these protests. I could guess. And I hope she's not the only one.

Helen Thomas' worst nightmare

As I'm sure you've heard by now, Fox News anchor and commentator Tony Snow has been tapped as the new White House press secretary. I've always loved Snow's genial persona and his sense of humor. This morning on the news, I also heard he has a rock band. :-) I love this guy!

Priceless quote from Snow's latest column:

"Helpful correspondents have told me where to go, what to use to fill various orifices, which pack animal I most closely resemble and my next-world destination."

The big reveal

Contrary to eHarmony's TV ads, yes you CAN meet your soulmate on those competitor dating sites.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you "R", better known as Rich. Rich is the brainchild behind Brain Squeezings, a consoisseur of all things geeky and perhaps the best thing to happen to me since ... uh ... ever.

I do not exaggerate.

How in the world I found someone as quirky as me who actually holds down a job and is normal in all the right ways is beyond me but very well may be evidence of Divine Grace. I know for sure I've done nothing myself to deserve a man who is gentle, thoughtful, brilliant, hilarious, sensitive, brave, considerate, passionate, moral, handsome, creative, affectionate, tender and, of course, geeky. But God is in his Heaven and all is well with the GGB.

Although more updates are to come, I reckon this to be the final leg of the journey to Happily Ever After. No more frogs, please. The Prince has arrived. :)

I'm blogging again! Alert the media!

Geez Louise. No posts since March 4. You'd think I was involved with a man or something ....

Oh! I am. Yes, folks, "R" is still VERY much in the picture. I was even in Pennsylvania over the Easter weekend to visit R's parents and sundry relatives and friends. This is the first time I've ever plunked down money for airfare to meet a boyfriend's progenitors, so mark this one down as a Big Deal. We are not formally and officially engaged, but there is talk of bling, and I've already sent him some JPEGs of particularly desirable bling. :)

I speculate that a generally happy life leads to less blogging. I am having a harder time getting cranky about Iraq or Hillary Clinton or the immigration issue -- although that last one can give me a headache-and-a-half if I think about it too much. In fact, lately the biggest thing I get worked up over is why American Idol's Kellie Pickler insists on being such a ditz.

(Yes, folks. During my horrendous case of sinusitis in February, Fox was the only TV channel I could pick up clearly in my old bedroom back at the parents' house. AI sucked me in like a wind tunnel and I haven't been able to reach escape velocity. Even R and I watch the shows together. Taylor Hicks' spasmodic rendition of "Takin' It To The Streets" had us crying in hysterics. Good bonding time.)

Would the GGB readers like to know who "R" is? He has a blog himself, ya know. Perhaps it's time for the reveal. :)

Bert goes berserk

OK ... on most levels, this is so not funny.

A University of North Carolina grad plowed into a crowd of students today with an SUV in attempt to "avenge the deaths or murders of Muslims around the world." Fortunately, Mohammed Reza Taheri-azar, an Iranian, is apparently a crummy would-be avenger and managed to seriously injure no one, although several were treated for minor injuries, and he faces nine counts of attempted murder.

The FBI is looking into this as a possible terrorist attack, but I think I have the answer to that question.

Look at this photo of Taheri-azar:













Now, look at these guys:

Terrorist link confirmed. Taheri-azar is a deranged Muppet and is in cahoots with Osama.

A GGB must-read

Spring is coming, trees are starting to blossom and birds are warbling incessantly ...

... but when I read essays such as this one, things turn a little more somber. But the truth shall set you free, and this essay is an absolute must-read for today:

Thrutch: All For One

The article explains why Islamism is picking apart Western society block by block and how our governments are abdicating their sacred duty to protect law-abiding citizens. A particularly choice quote about the Salman Rushdie affair:

"Apart from some feigned outrage, Western governments did nothing but engage in ?diplomacy? and then proclaim that we must ?tolerate? differences of opinion and respect the ?feelings? of those who would murder us. And the result? Rushdie went into prolonged hiding, a Japanese translator was stabbed and killed in Tokyo, an Italian translator was beaten and stabbed in Milan, a Norwegian publisher was shot and severely wounded, 37 people were incinerated in Turkey as executioners burned down the hotel of a translator, and publishing houses and bookstores in the US were firebombed to destruction. Those were just the direct results. Indirectly, westerners learned that freedom of speech only applied if it were directed against lawful, peaceful targets. There would be no protection for discourse about Islam or any doctrine whose adherents backed it up with violence. Moreover, it set the precedent of foreign nations placing bounties on the heads of Western citizens with impunity, which would encourage similar behavior by every ardent fundamentalist given that the tactic had proven effective and without any risk to the issuer."

The article is excellent. Read it; read it now. But I must add one contary comment to the following quote:

"But along with all the advantages of an individual-based society comes one inherent risk. In delegating his use of force, and forsaking adherence to any gang or tribe, each individual is disarmed and essentially helpless should his government fail to act on his behalf."

That's why we have the Second Amendment. No US citizen should ever be "disarmed and helpless" in the face of an incompetent or disinterested government.