Wednesday, February 01, 2006

A glimpse behind the scenes at Chez GGB

The scene: "R" and the GGB at the GGB's home watching Fox News' coverage of the SOTU and the Democrat response by Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine (D).

Brit Hume: "And now we go live to the governor's mansion in Richmond, Virginia."

R: "I've been right on those steps." (R is a former resident of Virginia.)

GGB: "Oooh, a fireplace. Looks like he's going to read us a bedtime story."

Kaine: "Hi, I'm Tim Kaine, governor of the Commonwealth of Virginia. And there is a better way."

R: "What is up with this guy's eyebrow?"

GGB: "The government's going to take care of you, we're going to pay for everything, blah dee blah blah blah."

Kaine: "There is a better way."

R: "Creepy, creepy."

GGB: "I feel like I'm watching an informercial. Like he's going to sell us power tools. No, he's not (grunting sound) enough to sell us power tools."

R: "Maybe kitchen appliances."

Kaine: "There is a better way."

GGB: "You didn't vote for this guy, did you?"

R: (looking absolutely horrified) "Hell no!"

Kaine: "Thereisabetterwaythereisabetterywaythereisabetterway. God bless America."

Brit Hume: "Let's go now to our panel and discuss how they go about choosing someone to offer the Democratic response and why they would pick such a person. Mort?"

GGB: "Want another beer?"

R: "Absolutely."

UPDATE: Something else had been bothering me about Kaine, and I finally figured it out. He eerily reminds me of "Larry," a guy I went out with about a year ago who (1) was on lithium, (2) couldn't take no for an answer (especially when I objected to being clumsily felt up on our third date), and (3) HAS THE SAME EYEBROW WEIRDNESS.

Eeewww. Icky.

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