This is an actual excerpt from Revolve, a Bible repackaged to look like a teen fashion magazine, complete with beauty secrets like this one:
As you apply your sunscreen, use that time to talk to God. Tell him how grateful you are for how he made you. Soon, you’ll be so used to talking to him, it might become as regular and familiar as shrinking your pores.
I kid you not.
Revolve was the best-selling "Bible" of 2003. Its publisher, Transit Books (division of the usually dignified Thomas Nelson ), said this ain't your daddy's NIV. They created this bible-zine because teens said traditional Bibles were "too big and freaky looking."
I could comment further, but I think you know what I'm thinking.