And I really liked tamales, too ...

Dad gummit. I hate it when politics gets in the way of my enjoying all things international.

I shouldn't even have to defend myself this way, but I'm gonna. I really love stuff and people from other countries. Always have. Credit my natural curiosity or the multicultural flavor of Generation X children's shows like Sesame Street, but I've always appreciated the exotic, the unknown, the different.

I was in middle school when I became fast friends with an American-born classmate of Ecuadorian and Cuban immigrant parents. I heard about how the Communists in Ecuador stripped their family bare, and they came to the United States for another chance at a good life. I watched as her mother -- a divorced woman with two girls -- learned English and got an education and leaned on her faith in God and her family's love. I watched as they moved from a small but neat apartment in the local government housing project to a pretty home in a middle class neighborhood. Both of the girls -- who had lived abroad as children and didn't speak a lick of English when they moved to Birmingham -- got excellent grades and went on to college and lives of their own. The American dream at work. Cool!

I also sat amazed at holiday gatherings where the adults congregated in the kitchen, speaking rapid-fire Spanish, while we youngsters watched MTV in the playroom. I ate tamales. I worked on my Spanish. I saw how they loved each other and loved a good party and loved freedom. They were true Americans but with a unique flavor that added to my own experience.

It was an instructive time and part of the reason why I went on to study Spanish in high school and college, earning entry into the National Spanish Honor Society. I learned the thrill of communicating entirely in another language, became friends with a Mexican exchange student, worked on a mission trip in Mexico and gained a deep appreciation for the spirit and character that define what it is to be Latino.

And now, I find myself getting sick.

My Ecuadorian pals came to my homeland, brought something unique to share with us gringos but also embraced the best of what America has to offer. They were American and Hispanic; loyal to their country but fond of the homeland; assimilated but not homogenized.

Now, as I watch angry protests and hear bitter slander of America as a supposedly racist and hostile country ("we hate you, but let us have your money and services"), I wonder what in the world happened. What, was I wrong? There's nothing good about being American? Learning English is tantamount to ethnic cleansing? You can't love America and be true to your heritage at the same time?

The rewriting of the national anthem was a blow to the gut. It makes me ill because it is a repudiation of everything that America -- fallen and erring as it is -- has tried to be for the wanderer and the oppressed. All we ask is that you give as well as take. Give our culture a chance as we are continually lectured on respecting other people's cultures.

I realize that lazy governing and sleazy business practices have put us in this jam. Hey, I've seen Mexico -- and not the touristy part. It festers with poverty and truncated opportunity. If I had a chance to escape to America, work for what amounts to an exorbitant wage by Mexican standards without paying taxes and with free social services to boot, I don't know that I'd turn it down.

Yet I am not willing to just lie back and take this abuse without protest. Call me a racist if you want -- I think I've demonstrated that I'm hardly a xenophobe and probably more multiculturally aware than the average nortemericano. But if I have to just open my wallet and bend over with no protest to avoid being called something nasty, NO THANK YOU. I refuse to piss on my country, and as long as some "activists" are doing the same, you can forget my support.

Two years ago, I was on an airplane next to a Mexican-born American woman in her 60s. We were in Houston, waiting to pull away from the concourse. I noticed she wore a red, white and blue scarf with a Liberty Bell print. True to her culture, she actively engaged me in conversation, telling me all about the grandchildren she was flying to visit. A couple of men a few rows back were chatting in Spanish -- hardly uncommon in Houston. I didn't pay them any particular mind, but she watched them for a moment, turned back to me and sniffed, "English is not that hard to learn! I don't see why they don't learn to speak English."

We talked more, and I learned she was an eager consumer of the American dream and damn proud of it -- but again, hardly homogenized or stripped of her Hispanic flavor. I wonder what she thinks of these protests. I could guess. And I hope she's not the only one.

Helen Thomas' worst nightmare

As I'm sure you've heard by now, Fox News anchor and commentator Tony Snow has been tapped as the new White House press secretary. I've always loved Snow's genial persona and his sense of humor. This morning on the news, I also heard he has a rock band. :-) I love this guy!

Priceless quote from Snow's latest column:

"Helpful correspondents have told me where to go, what to use to fill various orifices, which pack animal I most closely resemble and my next-world destination."

The big reveal

Contrary to eHarmony's TV ads, yes you CAN meet your soulmate on those competitor dating sites.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you "R", better known as Rich. Rich is the brainchild behind Brain Squeezings, a consoisseur of all things geeky and perhaps the best thing to happen to me since ... uh ... ever.

I do not exaggerate.

How in the world I found someone as quirky as me who actually holds down a job and is normal in all the right ways is beyond me but very well may be evidence of Divine Grace. I know for sure I've done nothing myself to deserve a man who is gentle, thoughtful, brilliant, hilarious, sensitive, brave, considerate, passionate, moral, handsome, creative, affectionate, tender and, of course, geeky. But God is in his Heaven and all is well with the GGB.

Although more updates are to come, I reckon this to be the final leg of the journey to Happily Ever After. No more frogs, please. The Prince has arrived. :)

I'm blogging again! Alert the media!

Geez Louise. No posts since March 4. You'd think I was involved with a man or something ....

Oh! I am. Yes, folks, "R" is still VERY much in the picture. I was even in Pennsylvania over the Easter weekend to visit R's parents and sundry relatives and friends. This is the first time I've ever plunked down money for airfare to meet a boyfriend's progenitors, so mark this one down as a Big Deal. We are not formally and officially engaged, but there is talk of bling, and I've already sent him some JPEGs of particularly desirable bling. :)

I speculate that a generally happy life leads to less blogging. I am having a harder time getting cranky about Iraq or Hillary Clinton or the immigration issue -- although that last one can give me a headache-and-a-half if I think about it too much. In fact, lately the biggest thing I get worked up over is why American Idol's Kellie Pickler insists on being such a ditz.

(Yes, folks. During my horrendous case of sinusitis in February, Fox was the only TV channel I could pick up clearly in my old bedroom back at the parents' house. AI sucked me in like a wind tunnel and I haven't been able to reach escape velocity. Even R and I watch the shows together. Taylor Hicks' spasmodic rendition of "Takin' It To The Streets" had us crying in hysterics. Good bonding time.)

Would the GGB readers like to know who "R" is? He has a blog himself, ya know. Perhaps it's time for the reveal. :)

Bert goes berserk

OK ... on most levels, this is so not funny.

A University of North Carolina grad plowed into a crowd of students today with an SUV in attempt to "avenge the deaths or murders of Muslims around the world." Fortunately, Mohammed Reza Taheri-azar, an Iranian, is apparently a crummy would-be avenger and managed to seriously injure no one, although several were treated for minor injuries, and he faces nine counts of attempted murder.

The FBI is looking into this as a possible terrorist attack, but I think I have the answer to that question.

Look at this photo of Taheri-azar:













Now, look at these guys:

Terrorist link confirmed. Taheri-azar is a deranged Muppet and is in cahoots with Osama.

A GGB must-read

Spring is coming, trees are starting to blossom and birds are warbling incessantly ...

... but when I read essays such as this one, things turn a little more somber. But the truth shall set you free, and this essay is an absolute must-read for today:

Thrutch: All For One

The article explains why Islamism is picking apart Western society block by block and how our governments are abdicating their sacred duty to protect law-abiding citizens. A particularly choice quote about the Salman Rushdie affair:

"Apart from some feigned outrage, Western governments did nothing but engage in ?diplomacy? and then proclaim that we must ?tolerate? differences of opinion and respect the ?feelings? of those who would murder us. And the result? Rushdie went into prolonged hiding, a Japanese translator was stabbed and killed in Tokyo, an Italian translator was beaten and stabbed in Milan, a Norwegian publisher was shot and severely wounded, 37 people were incinerated in Turkey as executioners burned down the hotel of a translator, and publishing houses and bookstores in the US were firebombed to destruction. Those were just the direct results. Indirectly, westerners learned that freedom of speech only applied if it were directed against lawful, peaceful targets. There would be no protection for discourse about Islam or any doctrine whose adherents backed it up with violence. Moreover, it set the precedent of foreign nations placing bounties on the heads of Western citizens with impunity, which would encourage similar behavior by every ardent fundamentalist given that the tactic had proven effective and without any risk to the issuer."

The article is excellent. Read it; read it now. But I must add one contary comment to the following quote:

"But along with all the advantages of an individual-based society comes one inherent risk. In delegating his use of force, and forsaking adherence to any gang or tribe, each individual is disarmed and essentially helpless should his government fail to act on his behalf."

That's why we have the Second Amendment. No US citizen should ever be "disarmed and helpless" in the face of an incompetent or disinterested government.

Talk about your coitus interruptus

TheMilwaukeeChannel.com: Couple Found Dead In Car In Garage

I'm not up on Wisconsin law, but that probably was a hell of a way to sidestep a statutory rape charge.

Why I shop for clothes at Wal-Mart, reason #487

Haute couture is dangerous to your moral and mental health.

The latest buzz

Hi, folks! Sorry for the unintended hiatus -- I'm just now recovered from the Grandmother of All Sinus Infections.

Heard the latest "buzz" in the war on drugs? Some municipalities are trying to ban "hemp-flavored" candy and other confections that supposedly mimic the flavor of marijuana but, in fact, do not contain marijuana or THC because that would be, you know, illegal.

I've seen plenty of hemp-containing products marketed with that instantly recognizable pot leaf silhouette, products by mainstream companies such as The Body Shop and California Tan. T-shirt manufacturer Crazy Shirts has a hemp-dyed T-shirt imprinted with designs suggesting that you run contraband on the weekends. The appeal to the real or wannabe ganga-smoking crowd certainly is nothing new.

Do I think it's appropriate to market candy that suggests alcohol or drug use to children? No, but it's not like these candymakers are buying airtime during The Higglytown Heroes. Last I checked, adults eat candy, too, and so long as there is truth in packaging and parents are -- you know -- doing their job and monitoring what their kids eat, I don't see the problem.

But making lollipops criminal -- good flippin' grief.

We interrupt this otherwise lovely Friday for ...

... some news that'll curl your hair: For once, I agree with Chuck Schumer.

When I first read about the deal to put control of six major ports under the authority of a state-owned company based in Dubai, my first reaction was a big ol' Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Then I read Scott McClellan's assurance that the deal had been thoroughly vetted by all relevant national security review processes, and I felt better for about nine nanoseconds.

Then my reaction was back to: WTF???????

Apparently, Chuckie had the same reaction, along with other lawmakers from both parties, nearly the entire blogosphere and, I'd guess, my two-year-old niece if she could understand international relations and Elmo were involved.

This. Makes. No. Sense. Whatsoever.

Michelle Malkin has much more detail than I could elaborate on here. But suffice it to say that I think the White House is smoking crack.

Sweetness and light

Gosh, was that a bummer of a V-Day post yesterday or what?

As an antidote to all the ugliness going on in the world, I am cheerfully sipping on a Mountain Dew and listening to the bubblegum bliss of "Mmm-Bop" by Hanson. Sometimes you just gotta dive deep into the shallow end.

I finally got out of the house today and it's 70 degrees. Yeah! R. and I are planning an apres-work rendezvous at a restaurant somewhere. He was supposed to treat me to a home-cooked meal last night, but because I was puny we just had pizza and watched movies. R. has been quite attentive and sweet during my illness. He brought me Mexican and Chinese takeout when I was craving spicy food. For a man who has called me a fashion diva, he hasn't been repelled by limp, slept-in hair and no makeup. And he must have the constitution of an ox -- so far he hasn't caught whatever it is I'm fighting, and trust me, he's had ample opportunity.

So, happy Wednesday everyone.

Happy Valentine's Day (achoo!)

Hi, folks. Sorry for the dearth of posts, but the GGB is down with a cold or sumthin. But I'd like to wish all my readers -- especially R. -- a very happy Saint Valentine's Day.

Yeah ... with all the teddy bear and underwear ads, we often forget that this holiday rightly began to commemorate the martyrdom of a Christian saint. (The exact origins are a bit murky -- the Catholic Church recognizes three saints named Valentine or Valentinus.)

Which brings me to the War on Cartoons. If you think this is just about cartoons, you're on crack. "Hardline Hindus and radical Muslims" have recently taken out their rage on Valentine's Day in India, saying it's a decadent Western holiday that spreads immorality. Of course if they realized the Christian origins of Valentine's Day, there might really be a mob scene, considering the brutal treatment minority Christians get in many places in the world.

All to say that the War on Cartoons is not about cartoons -- it's about being Western. Whether you're just a Valentine card-giving, KFC-eating secular American or a devout Christian or Jew, a significant segment of the Islamic world just doesn't like you. You cannot be a non-Muslim and not offend them.

Chew on that while you munch on your chocolate candy today.

Bush = Ayatollah?

From Drudge:

This morning on ABC's Good Morning America, Democratic National Committee Chair Howard Dean attacked President Bush for turning the United States into Iran. Dean: "All we ask is that we not turn into a country like Iran where the President can do anything he wants."

I guess the "Bush is a Nazi" slur got a little stale and the Dems needed fresh material.

And a little geek decor ...

Computer Key Seat, Black at X-tremegeek.com

Now THIS is something I could use

Power Station Organizer

From the horse's mouth

Muslim Americans split on cartoons - Yahoo! News

I'll just let this article speak for itself.

Nothing to see here ... move along

Nine church fires in recent days in Alabama have been ruled arson.

The racial makeup of these churches is split right down the middle -- five were predominantly black, four predominantly white. They were all Baptist although not all Southern Baptist, but that might not mean anything since you can't throw a rock without hitting a Baptist church down here.

The investigation is still very much under way, and at least according to media reports, they have no suspects. However, Governor Bob Riley and the local ATF are already playing down the apparent anti-religion motivation of these attacks: Riley says he sees no evidence of a "grand conspiracy" against religion or Baptists. Jim Cavanaugh, regional director of the federal Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives agency, said there could be a "thrill motive" behind the arsons.

Oh really? Whoever did this meant business.

These are churches, not abandoned warehouses. Several news reports have said the fires started at or near the pulpit. You don't have to be a theologian to understand the symbolic significance. One Baptist newspaper in Texas reported that in one fire, the ignition sites were the pulpit, the American flag and the communion table.

Hello! People!

I'm not paranoid; I don't think this means that the pogroms are coming. But I do wish these church burnings were prompting the sort of public outry that attacks against other groups would.

Hillary Babels

A little fun with Alta Vista's Babel Fish. I translated my post below into Japanese and then back into English. :)

"Today, ho! Hillary Rodham where is that (as for ack! ) The Clinton here. As today said in the automobile factory worker where I am connected, why it did not capture the person where we Afghanistan are highest I who have been grasped pass the time of balance. Because know, to be good as everything as for Osama ' me center Taliban ' and of and the garlic smell doing faintly is walking with clear vision of Allah and everyone who attach the T shirt which is said to the body. If simple work obtains and is... -, there to be I.Q. of 2 in the bush, in the influenza of Halliburton, hurricane Katrina and the bird and rear of the disappearance of Natalee Holloway. "

Hillary speaks

"Hi, ho! It's Hillary Rodham (ack!) Clinton here.

"Like I told the United Auto Workers today, I'm having a hard time figuring out why we haven't captured the tallest man in Afghanistan. Because as well all know, Osama is walking around in plain sight of Allah and everyone wearing a T-shirt that says 'I heart the Taliban' and smelling faintly of goats and garlic. Should be a piece of cake ... er, baklava ... but we all know that Bush has an IQ of 2 and is also behind Halliburton, Hurricane Katrina, the bird flu and the Natalee Holloway disappearance."

It's gettin' ugly, folks

A South Carolina radio host has received death threats in relation to the Mohammed cartoons:

http://www.commonvoice.com/article.asp?colid=4082 (Hat tip: Vodkapundit.)

The FBI has been called in. I'm guessing they'll be able to find out at least one of the perpetrators. If I were the FBI rather than the GGB? I have no idea what is supposed to happen to foreign nationals who commit crimes, but I'd deport their butts out of here faster than you can say babaghanouj.

I knew this was going to happen

Our president attends the funeral of a leading citizen and is shat upon by a Jesse Jackson wannabee and the lousiest president ever to (dis)grace the White House.

Drudge has details. The look on Laura Bush's face is priceless. She looks like she's dying to bitchslap the "Reverend" Joseph Lowery, and I admire her restraint.

All I can say is I am old enough to remember the Carter years even though I was six when he took office. I still remember the evening news marking yet another day that our citizens were held hostage in Iran. The disastrous rescue mission. The soaring inflation. Double-digit unemployment. And Ronnie Reagan kicking Jimmy Carter's booty all over the electoral college map in 1980. (Carter won only two states: Georgia and Hawaii.)

Carter couldn't effectively lead a Rotary Club meeting, much less a nation, and he has the audacity to bash the president ... at a funeral ... as a former president. Hideous. Disgusting. I guess he deep down realizes what a lame excuse for a chief executive he was and how he damn near ruined this country and he's practicing a little projection. Only reason he got elected to begin with was because of the taint of the Nixon administration on Gerald Ford.

If I ever had any doubt that Carter is pathetic, I don't now.

All right. I've got to stop getting all twisted like this. I've got to get back to blogging gadgets. Y'all have a great afternoon.

If only it came with Bluetooth capability

Shiny Shiny: The Keyboard Bag

How to pick a winning Super Bowl team

R and I literally had to discuss which team we'd root for in the Super Bowl, considering the fact that we're both less-than-nominal football fans and have no real investment in either team.

This picture basically sums up our discussion and why we decided to cheer on Pittsburgh.

(Hat tip: Vodkapundit.)

GGB required reading

Suzanne Fields: From Hitler to Hamas

Jeff Jacoby: Today censors may be coming for some Mohammed cartoons; tomorrow it is your words and ideas they will silence

Mark Steyn: ‘Sensitivity’ can have brutal consequences

Pick a side, world

The ubiquitous They say that not all Muslims are radical, violent, fascist and bloodthirsty. And while I believe that is absolutely true, after the events of the past few weeks (and, for that matter, the past four decades), I also believe it is a moot point.

Let's face it: The fruitcake wing of Islam is in charge.

From the chaos in Palestine to Iran's saber-rattling to the frighteningly ridiculous backlash against cartoons, the face of Islam is getting increasingly ugly. Whether it's radical imams or street youth, the bullies are calling the shots. In places like Iran, they're the de juris powers that be. In places like England, they enjoy a de facto power that is getting more ominous every day. In fact, I don't think they care too much whether it's a Muslim or infidel in charge, as long as said infidel cowers to threats and intimidation and therefore lets the Muslims rule by proxy.

When you have protesters blatantly calling for a bloodbath in the streets of Great Britain -- and they've already bombed your country once -- and you give them a police escort rather than handcuffs and deportation, then the thugs are in charge and you shouldn't be surprised the next time they make good on their threats.

I mean, can you think of any other group possibly getting away with pubicly endorsing murder? Can you imagine the (rightful) shrieking if the protesters were calling for the extermination of blacks or gays or -- gasp! -- Muslims?

The Islamic doctrine of dhimmification is working right before our very eyes. When is the free world going to put its foot down and refuse to take orders from thugs? Who has to be murdered next? Which freedom is next to go? Are we going to say no when media offices are firebombed? What about when they start murdering priests and preachers and rabbis?

It's time to pick a side. The Muslims have thrown down the gauntlet. This is not about liking or hating Bush or agreeing or disagreeing with US foreign policy. Islam is currently being run by homicidal maniacs. We have two choices: capitulate or fight. Pick one.

Waking up in the Matrix, part 2

From London's Daily Telegraph.

Muslim protests are incitement to murder, say Tories

The Conservatives last night called on the police to arrest militant Muslims who threatened Westerners with violence during protests in London over newspaper cartoons that mocked the Prophet Mohammed.

Good, good.

As fanatics - some dressed as suicide bombers - staged more protests yesterday, David Davis, the shadow home secretary, said the police should take action against what were clearly offences of incitement to murder.

Good again.

Mr Davis said last night: "Clearly some of these placards are incitement to violence and, indeed, incitement to murder - an extremely serious offence which the police must deal with and deal with quickly.

Ya think? But don't get your hopes up ...

Scotland Yard said a decision not to arrest protesters was taken because of public order fears.

Translation: We're impotent twits.

It confirmed that police had received more than 100 complaints from the public about the protesters' behaviour.

Only 100? What is the population of London, several million? Sheesh.

Yesterday, more than 1,000 demonstrators staged a second protest outside the embassy. The only arrests made were of two men found carrying cartoons of Mohammed. Police said they had been detained "to prevent a breach of the peace".

Unreal. Friggin' unreal.

On Friday police provided a motorcycle and helicopter escort for the protesters. Video cameras recorded the events.

Hopefully to help them identify the suspects later for a round of arrests and deportations, but I'm not holding my breath.

This is insane.

New Windows error message

For those pesky cartoonists:

Moonwalkin'

OK. Fashion question of the day: Moon boots?














And the product description for these boots includes this warning: "This footwear not designed for space travel." I kid you not. Of course, I would not want to wear these ugly things anywhere else besides the moon where it's just me and Burt Rutan hangin' out.

Anyway ... Overstock.com has 'em for the bargain price of $56.99 (original price: $149.99). Get 'em while there, uhm, hot.

Waking up in the Matrix

I think I passed into an alternate universe somewhere during the middle of the night. Maybe my cell phone was too close to my head when that text message came in, alerting me that the Zen Vision M was up for auction on eBay, but anyway ... here was the headline:

US blasts cartoons of Prophet Mohammed

"These cartoons are indeed offensive to the beliefs of Muslims," State Department spokesman Justin Higgins said when queried about the furor sparked by the cartoons which first appeared in a Danish newspaper.

"We all fully recognize and respect freedom of the press and expression but it must be coupled with press responsibility," Higgins told AFP.

"Inciting religious or ethnic hatreds in this manner is not acceptable. We call for tolerance and respect for all communities and for their religious beliefs and practices."

Oh, really? Like you called for tolerance and respect when foul rapper Kanye West posed as Jesus Christ on the cover of Rolling Stone ... or when The Book of Daniel was put on the air ... or when Jesus Christ and Christianity are mocked, lampooned and ridiculed any number of times any given day in the media.

But never mind, I've got my big-girl panties on. Living in a free society means some days people are going to say and do things that piss you off. The fact that the State Department feels compelled to preach about tolerance in the face of the RoP's "International Day of Anger" speaks for itself.

(Hat tip: Michelle Malkin)

Cube party!!!

A coworker of mine collects The Cubes (R) playsets. Today -- a particularly hard day -- she decided we needed a little Cube People Party:

















I'm delighted to see the return of breakdancing! W00t!

Am I too old for this? I don't think so.

It's a gadget, and the GGB is all about gadgets, even if the target audience is 13-year-olds:

ThoughtSafe

Hat tip: Shiny Shiny

OK, this rocks, too: Simply Scarlet USB Flash Drive

Humor break

From the GGB's bookmark collection, for your jocular enjoyment:

www.awfulplasticsurgery.com

www.churchsigngenerator.com

www.engrish.com

http://gofugyourself.typepad.com

A glimpse behind the scenes at Chez GGB

The scene: "R" and the GGB at the GGB's home watching Fox News' coverage of the SOTU and the Democrat response by Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine (D).

















Brit Hume: "And now we go live to the governor's mansion in Richmond, Virginia."

R: "I've been right on those steps." (R is a former resident of Virginia.)

GGB: "Oooh, a fireplace. Looks like he's going to read us a bedtime story."

Kaine: "Hi, I'm Tim Kaine, governor of the Commonwealth of Virginia. And there is a better way."

R: "What is up with this guy's eyebrow?"

GGB: "The government's going to take care of you, we're going to pay for everything, blah dee blah blah blah."

Kaine: "There is a better way."

R: "Creepy, creepy."

GGB: "I feel like I'm watching an informercial. Like he's going to sell us power tools. No, he's not (grunting sound) enough to sell us power tools."

R: "Maybe kitchen appliances."

Kaine: "There is a better way."

GGB: "You didn't vote for this guy, did you?"

R: (looking absolutely horrified) "Hell no!"

Kaine: "Thereisabetterwaythereisabetterywaythereisabetterway. God bless America."

Brit Hume: "Let's go now to our panel and discuss how they go about choosing someone to offer the Democratic response and why they would pick such a person. Mort?"

GGB: "Want another beer?"

R: "Absolutely."

UPDATE: Something else had been bothering me about Kaine, and I finally figured it out. He eerily reminds me of "Larry," a guy I went out with about a year ago who (1) was on lithium, (2) couldn't take no for an answer (especially when I objected to being clumsily felt up on our third date), and (3) HAS THE SAME EYEBROW WEIRDNESS.

Eeewww. Icky.

The NEW man in black

Ladies and gentlemen, as you well know, we now have an all-male Supreme Court. Judge Samuel Alito is now Justice Alito and ... excuse me ... this just in ...

Ruth Bader Ginsburg is actually female.

My bad. But that's what the ACLU will do to you. (Get that woman a gift certificate to Sephora stat.)

Anyhoo ... going to watch the SOTU tonight with R, some pizza and R's home-brewed beer. Of course, the real fun won't happen until the Dems' post-address griping. I'm thinking R and I should play a drinking game and quaff every time the Dems say one of the following phrases:

"A woman's right to choose."
"Right-wing extremist."
"Quagmire."
"We support the troops, but ..."
"Running the Congress like the plantation." (Oops ... already taken.)

I'll be looped within five minutes.

You say it's your birthday?

The GGB is 36 today. But they say the 40s are the new 30s, therefore the 30s must be the new 20s, which means I'm only 26.

Nah. I like 36 more than 26. Granted, I wish I had the bod I did at 26, but I otherwise do not miss the insecurity, stupidity and general lack of "doneness" I had a decade ago. I needed to simmer for awhile to achieve my full flavor, and I think I'm just about right.

Meanwhile, the GGB has hit the motherlode in the Internet dating world. (And no, you cannot see my profile.) I discovered the secret is to hunt within your own species; that is, I went specifically looking for geeks. And they came looking for me. Note Exhibit A:











These arrived yesterday at my office from "R." Too early in the game to share with you all the gory details about R. Let's just say that he scored several points with the fleurs and with the angus filet mignon he fixed last night. And he got me installments III and IV of the Myst series. What a gent.

I can't believe I ate the whole thing

OK ... now I know why this stuff is $400 a pound.

Tasted my first Beluga caviar last night. (Domestic farm-raised, my friends. Imported Beluga is banned.)

OMG. That salty stuff you get in jars in the canned meat aisle alongside the Spam and tinned herring? Fuhgettaboutit. Beluga is amazing. Literally gave me shivers. Straight outta the jar on a wafer was an experience in gastronomic bliss unequaled by few other things.

MP3 musings

Let me just say: Napster rocks. Now that I've finally ditched Norton (thank you, Rich) and gone with McAfee's Internet Security Suite, my Napster connection is running like a song.

Currently playing on my Samsung 1GB player: the Super Workout Mix. (Which I'm listening to while typing. Ha!)

Right now: "Solsbury Hill" by Peter Gabriel
Up next: "El Elem Alla" by Amr Diab
Embarrassing but true: "Bad Boys" by Inner Circle (Yeah ... the theme from COPS)
Always a classic: "Think" by Aretha Franklin
80s rush: "Stand" by R.E.M.
Love it but wish I could sing it: "One Week" by Barenaked Ladies

Random thoughts

It is a weary, dreary day here in the 'Ham. Not terribly cold but rainy and overcast. It's the Friday before a holiday weekend, and your humble correspondent is not much closer to full functionality than she was at precisely 8:04 a.m. when she dragged her weary bod out of bed, despite the intake of (1) full-strength Mountain Dew, (1) full-strength cup of Starbucks' Sumatra with a generous dash of Coffee-mate Hazelnut, and (1) full-strength Coke.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz .......................

::: sound of head hitting the desk :::

Oh! Sorry, folks. Random thoughts ...

- Ted Kennedy is a jerk.

- Not that I need yet another form of amusement, but check this out: http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/games/7b24/

- I do not want to see Jake Gyllenhaal play a gay cowboy. I just don't. Call me a redneck, I don't care what the critics are saying, I just can't go there. Hurts my head to think about it.

- I did a double-take today. I think Harriet Miers clubbed Chancellor Angela Merkel in a Berlin alley and is now running Germany. C'mon, look at this photo. Have you ever seen Miers and Merkel in the same room?

- Pat Robertson. Also a jerk.

- Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are visiting Haiti and .....

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Green ham and eggs

Ladies and gentlemen, it's the second half of the first decade of the 21st century, and we have glow-in-the-dark green pigs:

Babs & Harry at it again

Headlines read today that Harry Belafonte is calling W "the world's greatest terrorist" while hob-nobbing it with Hugo down in Venezuela, and Babs Streisand is "urging caution over Iran."

::: snort :::

Does anyone take these guys seriously? Or do they make headlines so that people like me out here in Jesusland can laugh our arses off? Considering that I saw these two headlines on Drudge, I hope it's the latter.

Happy Monday, everyone. Hope to be blogging more in 2006.

Next, we ban bad people

"Utopia is a small town in upstate New York; different zip code than the criminal courts building."

-- Steven Hill as "Adam Schiff" in Law & Order


UN nuclear watchdog chief Mohamed ElBaradei declared today that the 27,000 nuclear warheads in existence worldwide are "27,000 too many" and pondered: "The hard part is how do we create an environment in which nuclear weapons -- like slavery or genocide -- are regarded as a taboo and a historical anomaly?"

Oh, I don't know, Mr. ElBaradei, pass a law against bad people? And by the way, have you visited Sudan lately?

ElBaradei and a Japanese shared this year's Nobel Peace Prize, designated by Alfred Nobel in his will in 1895 to go to whoever had done most for the "abolition of standing armies." In other words, whoever has done the most to make the world more dangerous.

In a choice bit of unintended humor, ElBaradei said the world is "nowhere near that goal" of having no standing armies.

::: crickets :::

Oh, just HUSH!!!

Pat Robertson needs a chill pill:

Pat Robertson Warns Pa. Town of Disaster

An attempt to introduce intelligent design into the Dover, Pa., School System curricula was defeated when school board members who supported the measure were ousted in elections Tuesday.

Usually I'm a little skeptical of news stories that make evangelicals look bad, but Pat Robertson has made so many looney-tune prognostications over the years, I'm betting that this quote is accurate:

"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God. You just rejected him from your city."

That'll teach 'em, Pat. You might threaten to yank The 700 Club off the local channels in Dover while you're at it. Oh, wait ... they might like that ...

Somebody explain this to me: Why do people like Robertson want to mandate curricula that is friendly to Christianity while the Southern Baptist Convention simultaneously urges the faithful to remove their children from the public school system? Helloooo ... you can't have it both ways!

In the meanwhile, Pat? Put a sock in it.

This is refreshing

Angry Jordanians Rally to Protest Bombings

Haven for criminals

Yoo hoo! Calling all criminals!!

If you want some easy pickin's, head on over to San Francisco. Mugging, home invasion, rape and murder ... you won't meet much resistance.

And if San Franscisco is shut down by an earthquake, even better!! Riots and looting for everyone.

Sick, sick, sick

*** READER ADVISORY -- GRAPHIC IMAGE ***

I've just about had it up to here with the sicko dealth cult of Islamofascism and their sycophants in the media. Exhibit A:

Indonesia boosts security after girls beheaded

To sum it up for you: A group of sicko bastards ambushed five innocent schoolgirls on Saturday. Three were beheaded. But the way Al Reuters puts it, you'd think this was just another skirmish in some sort of civil war between Muslims and Christians:

Muslim-Christian clashes in the Poso area killed 2,000 people from 1998 through 2001, when a peace deal was agreed.

Can we get just one thing straight?? Indonesian Christians have not been going around cutting off Muslims' heads, okay?? The violence has been against Christians, not between Muslims and Christians. In fact, Indonesia -- the world's most populous Islamic nation -- is one of the riskiest places in the world to be a professing Christian believer.

In fact, check out just how risky it is. My apologies for disturbing anyone's comfort zone, but I think you need to see this:










Someone didn't get the "Religion of Peace" memo. This has GOT to stop.

You're a little late

Report it Now | Participate.net

Haven't you guys heard of blogs??

"Supreme" Halloween costume idea

I am sooooo tempted to buy a royal blue suit, sensible shoes, a short frosted-blonde wig and mega black eyeliner and go as Harriet Miers for Halloween this year.

Would I frighten small children? Inquiring minds wanna know.

The Man in Black returns

The GGB is beside herself with excitement at the upcoming 20th Century Fox biopic Walk the Line. I've been a Johnny Cash fan for 30 years. (And I'm 35, so you do the math.) What in the world a five-year-old found appealing about "Folsom Prison Blues" or "Sunday Morning Coming Down" is beyond me, but there I was with my little red Radio Shack 8-track player and a couple of JC cassettes to keep me happy. I mean, come on, the guy did a stint on The Muppets. Anyone who appears on The Muppet Show has got to be OK.

I saw Johnny around 1995 at City Stages in Birmingham when he had his comeback. Man, what a show. I'm so glad I was able to see my idol, especially now that Johnny is no longer with us.

If you haven't watched the trailer, check it out here. I've read excellent pre-release reviews about the movie and about Joaquin Phoenix' and Reese Witherspoon's performances. I think they both look a little "pretty" to be playing June 'n' Johnny. (In fact, Joaquin is downright luscious, whereas Johnny looked much more road-worn, even in his 20s, but we'll see how it goes. He's just about got the voice down pat. His rendition of "Ring of Fire" is pretty darn good.)

The GGB will follow up with a review next month when the flick is released.


In the meanwhile, check out the official Johnny Cash Web site here.






Johnny Cash
1932 - 2003

And hopefully one day, they'll cost 50 cents

Jollyblogger discovers a vending machine for iPods at Hartsfield International Airport in Atlanta.

Wilma heads for Florida

Buck Rogers fans rejoice.















Heh, heh.
Earlier post: Buckblogging

You guys are no fun

The venerable Somali movie industry took a hit this week:

Somali Islamic militias raid movie studio (CNN)

"The courts consider watching movies, listening to music, dancing and many other forms of entertainment un-Islamic."

Some have noted that fundamentalists of all stripes tend to have a problem with fun. ;) But before we lump the Somali movie critics in with the Amish, let's not forget one important distinction: Christian fundamentalists generally burn their own books, movies and CDs. Islamic fundamentalists burn other people's property and other people while they're at it. (Cue tape of the bombing in Bali.)

Some would argue it's only a matter of degree, but it'd be interesting to ask Hollywood: Who would you rather have criticizing your films, Jerry Falwell or the Somali militia?

Blog break

Sorry for the dearth of posts, friends. 2005 is speeding toward its close and taking the GGB right along with it. Will post as able.

OK ... this is just freaky

Kate vs. Tori Smackdown

Who you gonna trust?

The Jollyblogger has a very lucid post about why George Bush's "trust me" mantra doesn't quite cut it, and evangelics who repeat the mantra are being a little disingenous.

The Borg-ization of America

Lately, I've been seeing people walk around with these wireless headsets like this:










"Hi ... I'm Bob, and I look like a complete dork."



I'm not talking about wearing them at their desks or while driving a car, I'm talking about in and out of elevators, walking down the street, taking a smoke break -- when they're not actually on the phone.

The GGB is a passionate technophile, but I draw the line at having gizmos attached to my head unless absolutely necessary. I had enough of gizmos attached to my head during second grade when I had to wear an orthodontic headgear to correct a vicious overbite. (The photo below is not me but it gives you an idea of what it's like walking around with enough metal on your head and face to contact Mars.)















I'm afraid that if this trend is allowed to continue, we'll all look like this in seven or eight years:











Only Patrick Stewart could make Borg-ization sexy.


So, please, folks, for the love of aesthetics and your own social life, get the gizmos out of your ears and look like a real member of the human race. Walking around with those headsets just looks stupid, m'kay?

Bono: Ambassador of grace

I haven't always agreed with his politics ... or the fact that his band played for barely two hours at Legion Field in Birmingham in 1992 ... but I've always loved U2 and the musical glories of their frontman, Bono. (Not to mention the fact that he's really, really sexy. ;^)

I'll never forget the summer I spent listening to The Joshua Tree over and over and over again, never losing the feeling that I was tripping through heaven with each replay on my Walkman. Even now, "Red Hill Mining Town" has a way of lifting me into the third heaven like few other pieces of music can -- be they sacred or secular.

And now, after reading this article in Christianity Today, my respect for the brooding Irishman has gone up about 100 notches:

Bono: Grace Over Karma

His humility and apt articulation of grace are beautiful:

I love the idea of the Sacrificial Lamb. I love the idea that God says: Look, you cretins, there are certain results to the way we are, to selfishness, and there's a mortality as part of your very sinful nature, and, let's face it, you're not living a very good life, are you? There are consequences to actions. The point of the death of Christ is that Christ took on the sins of the world, so that what we put out did not come back to us, and that our sinful nature does not reap the obvious death. That's the point. It should keep us humbled… . It's not our own good works that get us through the gates of heaven.

Time to go play Achtung Baby.

OK bomber update

News organizations in Oklahoma are uncovering fairly clear indications that Joel Henry Hinrichs III, the 21-year-old who detonated himself outside a Sooners football game Saturday, could have been a wannabe jihadist. He had a cache of explosives in his apartment and apparent conncections to the local Muslim community ... not to mention a hideous beard.

<--- Voted Most Likely to Go Out with a Bang??

A good place to start on continuing updates would be Michelle Malkin's coverage of this goon.

As you can tell, this story is getting me cranky. Leaves me in a right awkward position, too, regarding my religion, which says: "Love your enemies."

Right now, I can honestly say I despise this guy and I despise people who want to blow up discos and pizza joints and airliners. And, by extension, I'm becoming suspicious of anyone who is Muslim.

No, I'm not even considering violent or hateful action toward anyone who is Muslim. I know a few Muslims who I like very much. One in particular comes to mind. Amiable guy. Gives me the Arab double-cheek-kiss whenever I see him.

But I also know he treats his wife like doo-doo.

It's crap like that -- from treating women like property to blowing yourself up outside a football stadium -- that makes me want to say, "Will you guys just get with the 21st century or LEAVE???" In fact, forget the 21st century thing. Just leave. Go. Get out of my country and go be uncivilized somewhere else.

I guess there is nothing redemptive about ultimatums, and I don't have any good answers to "WWJD?" But the command to "love your enemies" is something I'm having a real hard time with. I could love them better if I didn't have to deal with them. And I guess that's the point.

Bwah hah hah hah hah!!!!!

Rapture Safety cards prepare parishioners, airline-style

P.S. This is parody, folks.

It's getting kohl'd in here

For your inspection:

"Mindfreak" illusionist Criss Angel:













Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers:
















That's all I'm going to say about it.

It's got a good beat, it's in Farsi, I give it a 10!

And the hits just keep on comin':

In recent days, Iran's airwaves have been buzzing with two new tunes apparently designed to rally public support for the clerical regime's increasingly tense stand-off with the West over its nuclear ambitions.

The first song is entitled "Oriental Sun, Nuclear Science", and sung to a backdrop of military-style marching music by Ali Tafreshi. The second similarly catchy tune is "Nuclear Know-How" by Reza Shirazi.

Now, the GGB has more than a passing familiarity with Middle Eastern pop music, and I guaran-damn-tee you that anything with a military beat is not currently playing in the iPods of the young and the restless on the streets of Tehran.

Reminds me of those gosh-awful music videos of pre-liberation Iraq where mustachioed guys in leisure suits sang pop songs extoling Saddam.

Blech. Give me the liberal media over government-run media any day of the week and twice at Ramadan.

Clooney: He's starting to get it.

Well, sort of.

My favorite liberal actor, George Clooney, is starting to get it: Celebrity endorsements do not help get candidates elected, so he's vowing to keep quiet in the next round of elections. Unfortunately, Gorgeous George fails to grasp exactly why this is:

"My father ran for congress last year (04). I couldn't campaign for him and I knew I couldn't, because I'd hurt him. They tried to get me to get on the JOHN KERRY train and I said, 'We'll hurt him. They'll use us as 'liberal'.'

"Now, I would argue that (throughout) American history, it's pretty hard to find a time when liberals were on the wrong side of an issue. We thought that the conservative view was, 'Witches should be burned at the stake.' Moderate view was: 'Well, just in case,' and the liberal view was, 'There's no such thing as witches.'

"We thought women should be able to vote and blacks should be allowed to sit at the front of the bus and Vietnam was wrong. We haven't really been on a lot of wrong sides for us to be sort of used as this bad word.

I hate to break it to ya, George, but it's ugly caricatures of conservatives as witch-burners and Klansmen that turn people off.

(Not to mention the fact that your assertions are not entirely true. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 had greater Republican than Democratic support, and let's not forget that the segregationist South was largely Democratic. Visual aid: Sen. Robert Byrd.)

We really don't begrudge you speaking your mind about issues or making politically-charged (but artistically excellent) films such as Three Kings and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. It's the broad-brush stereotyping (so prevalent in Hollywood) that makes us grab our remotes.

By the way, hope your back is doing better. Love the villa. :)

Oklahoma "suicide bombing"

The blogosophere is abuzz about Saturday evening's "apparent" suicide-by-explosives 100 yards outside the OU football stadium where 84,000 fans were gathered. The intrepid Michelle Malkin is covering the story.

The victim in question is a 21-year-old engineering major named Joel Henry Hinrichs. Not exactly the moniker of a suicide bomber, but it begs the question: Did he intend to take some Sooner fans with him but his timer wasn't working?

Nutjob or would-be suicide bomber, no one knows, but this is one story that bears following.

Good grief, not again

You Birminghamians out there might remember Hank Erwin, former host of WDJC's afternoon talk show. Erwin was a fairly popular figure in the '90s among the local evangelical community -- much to my chagrin. Now a state senator, he's making headlines again, claiming Katrina was God's judgment on the sin-filled Gulf Coast.

(As Neal Boortz acidly commented, that explains all the hurricanes in Las Vegas.)

I'll be honest with you, full disclaimer here: I have very little respect for Erwin and have tangled with him from time to time. I might agree with him on many topics in principle, but his vitriol-filled rants interspersed with loony Biblical exegesis have left me wanting to punch a hole in the radio more than once.

One time, I nearly fell out of my chair when he advised a caller that the wine Jesus created at the Cana wedding was, indeed, wine ... it just wasn't intoxicating! (I was tempted to call in and ask if Jesus whipped up some o' that non-intoxicating wine for the Last Supper, but I resisted.) And now, Erwin is cloaking himself with a prophet's mantle and claiming to know God's ultimate purposes behind the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina.

Erwin, IMHO, is making the same sort of buffoonish statements as Falwell did in the post 9/11 days. This issue is not whether God judges sin but whether it is our prerogative to announce God's judgment whenever extreme tragedy befalls our neighbors. I suppose, according to Erwin's logic, we might as well tour the cancer wards and the ICUs and say, "Hey there, friend! What sort of vile sin put you here, huh? You some kind a pervert?"

(And by the way, Hank, have you read the Book of Job lately?)

Furthermore, Erwin talks about "godliness" and "churchgoing" and "godly living" but never mentions Jesus, the only sinless person and the only one who can save us from sin and judgment, hurricanes or no. And then he recommends these things so we'll be under "divine protection" from Mother Nature's wrath.

(Again, Hank, read the Book of Job lately?)

As for why Katrina did happen, I'm inclined to agree with the Methodist bishop quoted in the article:

"I have no idea what sort of senator or politician Mr. Erwin is, but he's sure no theologian," William Willimon, bishop of the North Alabama Conference of the United Methodist Church, told the News. "I'm certainly against gambling and its hold on state government in Mississippi, but I expect there is as much sin, of possibly a different order, in Montevallo as on the Gulf Coast. If God punished all of us for our sin, who could stand?"

Indeed.

This avian flu thing is for the birds

Got a health e-newsletter today with this apocalyptic headline:

"Officials Predict Global Bird Flu Epidemic"

The GGB is still reading up on a recent outbreak of avian flu in Asia (which, so far, has mostly affected -- you guessed it -- birds). However, I find it hard to work up a sweat when I read pronouncements like this:

Avian flu can be lethal when transmitted to humans, and has killed dozens in Asia to date.

Dozens? We're not even up to a hundred yet? Don't more people die from choking on popcorn? The GGB will investigate further. In the meanwhile, wake me up when there's real news to report.

Boobs for peace ... yeah, that's the ticket

Anti-war protesters got nekkid in front of the White House as part of Cindy Sheehan's Mother-Love-Salvation Show.

It was not a pretty sight, but check out these links from Little Green Footballs if you need a good laugh.

And they accuse conservatives of being deranged? Color me modest, but I'm smart enough to know which body parts not to expose in public.

Guffaw of the day

It never ceases to amuse me when people who are obviously contemptuous of Christians and Christianity attempt to lecture the masses on who is and who is not a "real" Christian.

Exhibit A: British MP George Galloway on Politically Incorrect.

Is it just me, or does Bill Maher's face look like marzipan?

CORRECTION: Bill Maher's program is called Real Time.

Rita throws a tantrum

Alabama is getting hit by a rash of tornadoes today from the remnants of Hurricane Rita, which is now just a low pressure system.

Earlier today, we were outlooked by the Storm Prediction Center for a minor risk of severe weather, but our local weather forecasters have been on the air in wall-to-wall severe weather coverage since at least 3 p.m. CDT today.

A Tornado Watch for the Birmingham area, which originally was to expire at 7 p.m., has been extended to 1 a.m. Monday.

At least we're getting some much-needed rain!!

Media Center XP rocks

The GGB has been a total slug this weekend.

Between two hurricanes and a major business initiative at my place of employment, I am just about worn out. Tired of being in emergency mode!

My antidote this weekend has been to play with the Media Center functions on my PC. I don't care what all you Linux snobs say (and you know who you are!!), Media Center XP rocks.

I explored the Online Spotlight feature and downloaded two films via Movielink. Way, way cool. A Streetcar Named Desire and White Noise played flawlessly. I felt utterly cool recording JFK on cable while watching downloaded films. And via the Media Center guide, you can set the system to record TV programs and movies and a future date whenever they are scheduled to be aired.

I love living in the 21st century!!

Adding insult to injury

Some Katrina evacuees in Tuscaloosa County, Ala., living in FEMA-supplied trailers have gotten hit by a tornado -- a spinoff from Hurricane Rita.

OUCH.

I kid you not

Mattel sells Islamic barbie.

QotD

"Many in every age have disturbed society by stirring up the poor against the rich, and by preaching the popular doctrine that all men ought to be equal. But so long as the world is under the present order of things this universal equality cannot be attained. Those who speak against the vast inequality of men's fates will doubtless never lack an audience; but so long as human nature is what it is, this inequality cannot be prevented.

"Take all the property in our country by force this very day, and divide it equally among the inhabitants. Give every man above the age of twenty an equal portion. Let everyone share and share alike, and begin the world over again. Do this, and see where you would be at the end of fifty years. You would have just come back around to the point where you began. You would find things just as unequal as before. Some would have worked, and some would have been lazy. Some would have always been careless, and some always scheming. Some would have sold, and others would have bought. Some would have wasted, and others would have saved. And the end would be that some would be rich and others poor."

-- J.C. Ryle (1816-1900) in Practical Religion

Reason to avoid Internet dating, #279

Married doctor woos two women, telling them he was married to them in a past life:

Ah, the old "married in a previous life" trick (Reuters)

Crescent controversy

The GGB is back from a weekend in Atlanta and a virtual news blackout. Thus, I missed Friday's news about the unveiling of the plans for the Flight 93 memorial. In case you, like me, have been out of the loop, here's an artist's rendering of the memorial design:



















"Alex, I'll take 'Things that remind you of Islam' for $500."

Michelle Malkin has tons of coverage here about the so-called "Crescent of Embrace." Even the name is creepy. Lord help us.

A much-needed humor break

I can take only so much of the foamy-mouthed rantings of Celion Dion, Angelina Jolie and Al Sharpton. For all who feel my pain, here's some medicine:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/mightyrikimaru/44935.html?mode=reply

(Hat tip: Boar's Head Tavern)

Emergency Alert System -- asleep at the wheel

The GGB did a little research and discovered this USA Today article from 2003 and this Wired News article from just last year about major problems with the Emergency Alert System (EAS).

According to Wired, the EAS did not activate on Sept. 11 in New York City, nor did it activate to warn Southern Californians of deadly fires last year. And USA Today says that the "blanket" coverage of EAS is not what the FCC would have you believe.

If the president needed to warn the nation of an impending nuclear attack, he would have access to thousands of TV and radio stations to do so. But for state and local emergencies, the system is spotty at best. Even if the president were to activate the system nationally — something no president has done — he would reach only those people tuned in to a TV or radio network.

And here's a gem:

Michael Brown, the undersecretary for emergency preparedness and response, says the department isn't going to "jump in with both feet" [to develop a new national warning system]. He says the public will rely on news media for information during major disasters.

Will rely or should rely? Of course, apparently even Brown doesn't have cable in his particular section of Cluelessville. Here are some chilling words from the Wired article:

... many experts conclude [that] the Emergency Alert System is a mess. And as federal officials begin to launch efforts to expand emergency alerts to cell phones and the internet, critics say they need to spend time and money to preserve the creaky existing system and, perhaps more importantly, put someone in charge nationally.

"Unfortunately, I think it will take a major catastrophe where hundreds of thousands of people are killed for people to understand what (we) have been saying," said Jim Gabbert, who oversees California's Emergency Alert System and serves on a national advisory committee that's been sounding the alarm about alerts for two years.

Makes me feel all secure, doesn't it you?

UPDATE: In searching further for articles about the EAS, I'm turning up far more articles about the EAS being used in conjuction with AMBER Alerts than I am stories about it being used for weather or civil emergencies. I don't want to sound unsympathetic, but emergencies that threaten public safety are more urgent than missing children and should have the whole force of the EAS behind them.

UPDATE II: EAS not activated during San Diego firestorm of 2003. But it worked swimmingly to recover three abducted girls in Texas in 2004.

This is only a test

In response to an Instapundit blog post about the things we've learned from Katrina, a reader posited a very important question:

I haven't heard anything about the Emergency Alert System in relation to Katrina. Was it on? Did it work? Did it provide any useful information? I would think that a system that's been tested weekly since the 50's would have been pretty reliable.

According to the FCC's Web site on the subject, the EAS can broadcast an emergency message on all AM, FM and broadcast TV stations and on any cable system with more than 10,000 subscribers. The EAS was developed so that the president could directly communicate with the nation in the event of a national crisis, but since 1963, the system is authorized for local and state use as well.

Thus the question: Was the EAS activated?

I've actually heard people interviewed who claimed they weren't aware of the impending danger of Hurricane Katrina. I find that difficult to believe. On the other hand, plenty of people can't tell you who the vice president is, so it's entirely possible to live in an information vacuum, even in the information age.

Here in Birmingham, our civil defense siren system is activated for tornado warnings. However, if you cannot hear the siren and (A) do not have a weather radio that can be activated by the National Weather Service or (B) are not tuned in to local TV, you could very well be unaware that a tornado is approaching. If you're watching MTV or The Golf Channel, you will miss the warning unless your cable provider interrupts the broadcast or scrolls a message across the screen.

Seems to me that if we're spending money on the EAS, then every time an event such as a tornado or hurricane threatens public health and safety, the EAS should activate and transmit a message across all radio, TV and cable signals.

Our local meterologists constantly preach on the necessity of a weather radio with an alert feature so that you can be warned of severe weather at night during sleep. (Weather radios can be activated for civil emergencies as well.) But for those who aren't plugged in to NOAA or the local news, "we interrupt this broadcast" ought to become a familiar phrase.

QotD

You gotta laugh or you'll just cry ...

... Sen. Mary Landrieu, who seems to think she’s cute when she’s mad, even threatened on national television to punch out the president — a felony, by the way, even as a threat. Mayor Nagin, who you might think would be looking for a place to hide, and Gov. Blanco, nursing a bigtime snit, can’t find the right word of thanks to a nation pouring out its heart and emptying its pockets. Maybe the senator should consider punching out the governor, only a misdemeanor.

-- columnist Wesley Pruden

Thomas Sowell -- GMTA

Read Sowell's column about rebuilding New Orleans. Echoes much of what I said here.

Rebuilding New Orleans -- from the inside out

How to shore up those levees -- and whether it's a good idea anyway to have a city below sea level -- are not the biggest questions New Orleans needs to answer. Before the city rebuilds the infrastructure, it needs to rethink rebuilding the community itself.

I'll never forget my first trip through the New Orleans airport. I was at baggage claim, and I looked up to see a poster advertising a local strip joint. That'd never fly in Birmingham, I thought. In fact, now that I think about it, I don't think I've seen fleshpot advertisements in any other airport, and I've been in some big ones: Houston, Atlanta, LAX.

And thus, the big difference between New Orleans and most other American cities. Sleaze, seediness and sin are in your face in the Big Easy. You almost can't get to the sublime food, music and culture without stepping over barf in the streets, without walking past photos of every sex act imaginable posted outside darkened clubs.

A friend who's from this area returned home last year after living some time in New Orleans with her husband and young daughter. She's a bohemian, liberal, nonconformist. I figured New Orleans would be the perfect fit for her, but she told me flatly: "New Orleans is no place to raise a child. The people there are lazy. My husband had the hardest time getting people to work for him."

Don't shoot the messenger -- I'm just relaying what she said.

Another friend, a guy from Phoenix, said you don't do business in New Orleans from about noon Thursday to sometime Monday afternoon. No one is sober enough.

The implosion of the Big Easy is at least partly because the city was already rotting from within. You cannot have a culture of drunkenness and shiftlessness, vice and corruption, murder and mayhem and be expected to hold it together when all hell breaks loose. All the gumbo and king cake in the world can't help you when the waters are rushing in.

Before New Orleans can be rebuilt physically, the people who return there are going to have to think about what sort of city they want spiritually and socially. They're going to have to think about what their city will spend its money on: restoring vintage architecture or advertising strip clubs. They're going to have to rethink Bourbon Street and Mardi Gras. They should keep Cafe du Monde and Pat O'Brien's, but maybe it's time to relegate the sex shows and the street drinking to the outer limits of the city and make the French Quarter safer for women and children.

If New Orleans is to rise again and survive, she'll have to be a different city. She has too many charms not to be built on a more solid foundation of responsible community and governance.

The Helpless, the Clueless and the Lawless

Without pointing fingers, I think it's obvious even now that the Titanic-sized disaster of the breakdown of New Orleans was the result of bad decision upon bad decision, made over the years by bureaucrats and politicians and engineers and city planners and architects and ... the list goes on.

But some things you don't think of -- such as the volatile mix of people that created the hellhole of the Superdome. Or maybe you should have thought of it.

There's never been a diaster of any kind where such a large number of people wound up concentrated in such a small area. And this group was not a representative sample of the populace of New Orleans. No, they were members of three different groups I call the Helpless, the Clueless and the Lawless.

The Helpless: The elderly, the chronically ill, pregnant women, babies, young children. Old people and infants dying from heat exhaustion and dehydration in the richest nation on earth is an utter disgrace. Why more public resources (like alllll those unused buses) were not dedicated to their evacuation is beyond me. It was part of the city's diaster plan but NOT IMPLEMENTED.

The Clueless: The non-English-speaking tourists who apparently don't know what a hurricane is were clueless by no fault of their own. Others who stayed behind -- I hate to say -- stayed because they're morons. Case in point: a conversation Fox News' Shepard Smith had with a bar patron. (I'm paraphrasing.)

Smith: Hey, man, why haven't you evacuated?

Moron: Well, I think things are going to be all right. We've been through hurricanes before. The levees are designed for a category 3 hurricane anyway.

Smith: But this is a category 5! A category 5, man!!

Moron: Well, I think the city has prepared for that. The levees can handle a category 3.

Smith: BUT THERE'S A CATEGORY 5 HEADED STRAIGHT FOR NEW ORLEANS!

Moron: It'll be OK. We've been through hurricanes before.

The Lawless: Arthel Neville, a New Orleanian and former Fox News contributor, told Greta Van Susteren of a harrowing tale she'd been told by Superdome evacuees: A man raped and murdered a seven-year-old child! (He was promptly disposed of by 10 men who beat him to death. Personally, I applaud the posse who dispatched this pathetic piece of crap to his eternal destiny.)

Rape and murder of a seven-year-old. Despicable. Why wasn't there a police contingency at the Superdome?

The Helpless, the Clueless and the Lawless. A deadly, deadly mix.

Katrinaspam

Today I got my first "Katrinaspam," some doofus who claimed the Red Cross was coordinating with some outfit in the UNITED KINGDOM.

Yeah, that makes all the sense in the world.

Be warned, folks. Disasters bring out the best and the worst in people. Hucksters and scammers will abound.

Sad.

"Nobody told me there'd be days like these"

An acquaintance and I were talking over coffee about -- what else -- the hurricane, and she said, "You know, from all that's happening, I just have to believe that Jesus is coming back soon."

I reminded her that starvation and violence and catastrophe have happened every day, somewhere on the planet, since the beginning of time. This evening, I heard on the news that a typhoon hit China this week and displaced one million people. They just had their own Katrina, but it was barely a blip on our radar screen.

With all due respect to my friend (who conceded that I had a point), I get annoyed with the hubris of American Christianity and its assumption that catastrophe here is a herald of the Tribulation but catastrophe elsewhere is just business as usual. What, God is going to spare America from the machinations of nature and the forces of evil until the clock is about to run out?

Like everyone else who believes in historic, orthodox Christianity, I concur that Jesus Christ "sitteth upon the right hand of God the Father Almighty, from whence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead." Beyond that, I part ways with many of my evangelical compatriots.

Beginning with Hal Lindsey's Late Great Planet Earth in the 1970s and most recently with the Left Behind series, evangelical end-times theology has centered around America as a sort of final staging ground of the end of days. In other words, it'll get bad here before the Tribulation, then we'll all disappear before the really, REALLY bad stuff starts happening.

Tell that to the Christians in China. Or North Korea. Or Sudan. Or just Google "persecution against Christians" to find some stories that'll give you nightmares.

Now, Lindsey has a Web site called "Hal Lindsey Oracle.com." Oracle. What, he's a prophet? Does this bother anyone else besides me? Lindsey has been predicting for nearly 40 years that the return of Christ is imminent, and I mean within-the-next-five-to-ten-years imminent. I wonder how many people made professions of faith based on that spurious (and now, obviously discounted) claim and have since drifted away.

(Oh ... Lindsey's site also features a collection of silly and trivial "witnessing" mugs and T-shirts, including one that shows John 3:16 and the words "FIRE INSURANCE." Makes me want to hurl.)

I'd rather take the position that my own pastor did this morning: Hurricane Katrina is just the latest in a long line of evidence that we live in a fallen world. When catastrophe gives birth to depravity and death, we really shouldn't be surprised. Appalled, yes. Compassionate, yes. But surprised?

When Christ warned about "wars and rumors of war" and natural disasters, I think he was saying that this would be the condition of the world until he returned.

And no one is exempt.

Katrina satellite images

Collected at NOLA.com. Click here.

Some Hollywoodites are walkin' the walk

Props to musician Macy Gray for flying to Houston to visit with evacuees there and pitch in a helping hand to volunteer. Ditto to New Orleans native Harry Connick, Jr., for going to New Orleans to help out.

Who's minding the store?

If you haven't been reading Michelle Malkin lately, she is tracking just about everything out there regarding Hurricane Katrina.

Even though I'm ready to send Al Sharpton to bed with an aspirin and a teddy bear, practically no one in the conservative blogosphere is giving the government -- federal, state OR local -- high marks for the handling of this catastrophe. In the reaction against the vile and ridiculous accusations of deliberate racism, we cannot simultaneously protect the government from some well-deserved ridicule and blame.

Exhibit #1: The failure of the City of New Orleans and the State of Louisiana to use public transport vehicles to evacuate the poor. Would that not have made perfect sense? Why in hell were the predators and the prey of the city all shuffled into the Superdome with the near-certainty that the city would be innundated? Just today Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco authorized the use of public school buses for evacuation. TODAY! The hurricane hit on MONDAY and we knew it was headed for New Orleans LAST SATURDAY.

Exhibit #2: Homeland Security Chief Mike Brown's assertion that Katrina would be a "standard hurricane." Yeah. He said that last Sunday. Anyone with a television KNEW that the National Weather Service was sending out apocalypic warnings. My guess is the guy doesn't know what the heck he's doing and it's CYA time. Boy, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy that such a doofus is running Homeland Security.

Exhibit #3: We knew for years that a New Orleans flood was a disaster waiting to happen, just like we knew for years that terrorists had plans to hit a major American city. Again, anyone who watches The Discovery Channel knew that because of its geographical situation, New Orleans' could NOT sustain a direct hit by a major hurricane.

My fifth-quarter assessment is the New Orleans catastrophe was the sad result of a very long string of bad decisions and shuffled responsibility made over the years by bureaucrats and politicians at all levels.

Trivia break

The sordidness and heartbreak of the whole hurricane story is getting me down. Time for a little levity:

I was joyous yesterday when I stopped at a gas station for a snack and saw that Mountain Dew had brought back their Pitch Black soda for Halloween, but with a twist: Pitch Black II is billed as "a blast of grape flavor with a sour bite."

I give it a thumbs-up. At first, I was wanting the sweet flavor of the original Pitch Black, but the more I drink it, the more I'm pleasantly reminded of the flavor of SweetTarts or Pixie Stix of my childhood.

This is really no time for me to get hooked on sugared sodas again, but hey, it's available only through early November.

Rehnquist dies

Chief Justice Rehnquist Dies of Cancer

I anticipate much moonbattery in the coming days.

The $64K question

Did anyone catch Geraldo Rivera and Shepard Smith reporting from N.O. last night during Hannity & Colmes?

Geraldo's melodrama nothwithstanding, I was stunned, completely stunned at what the trapped New Orleanians are having to endure. Shepard Smith kept waving toward I-10, saying that there was a way -- at least on foot -- out of the city, but a checkpoint had been established and anyone who tried to leave was being turned away.

What in the crap is going on?

Why not leave on foot? Are they trying to control exit of the stranded? Are they afraid that outlying towns, where there still are utilities and resources, might be victimized by the desperate?

From the chaos we've seen at the Superdome, that might be a reasonable fear. On the other hand, as long as people are literally starving and cooking to death on interstate overpasses, seems a pretty brutal thing to keep them from leaving.

I dunno. Only conclusion I can come to is that the powers that be were caught flat-footed, and there has been no clear and decisive leadership from the get-go.

On the other hand, when was the last time in modern American history that an entire major city was put out of commission? Answer: Never. We just haven't seen anything like this before.

God help us.

Un-frickin'-believable

New Orleans, pre- and post-Katrina

http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/facility/new-orleans-imagery.htm

Blame game

VodkaPundit shares this tantalizing tidbit from an AP story:

Gov. Kathleen Blanco, standing beside the mayor at a news conference, said President Bush called and personally appealed for a mandatory evacuation for the low-lying city, which is prone to flooding.

That story was dated Saturday, Aug. 28 -- the day meterologists and weather realized that Katrina was jogging west and would head for the Big Easy. (Read the story for yourself here.) Another telling quote:

"This is a once in a lifetime event," the mayor said. "The city of New Orleans has never seen a hurricane of this magnitude hit it directly," the mayor said.

He told those who had to move to the Superdome to come with enough food for several days and with blankets. He said it will be a very uncomfortable place and encouraged everybody who could to get out.

Translation: Bush personally begged for evacuation. The CITY of N.O. -- headed by a black mayor -- directed stranded people to the Superdome. (Granted, with a warning about conditions.)

Now, no one should have to die or be raped or whatever because they couldn't evacuate or, in some cases, just didn't prepare adequately.

But my question is: Why didn't the government -- including City of New Orleans -- provide some sort of public transportation out of New Orleans? If we can just stay away from the conspiracy theories and the race-baiting, it's a valid question to ask.

To Hollywood: thumbs-down and a one-finger salute

Forget what I said about Hollywood pitching in to help Katrina victims.

I missed NBC's relief concert last night, and I'm glad I did. Rapper Kanye West went off-script and smeared the President (and virtually every non-black American) with the most vile and racist accusations. According to the AP:


Appearing two-thirds through the program, he claimed "George Bush doesn't care about black people" and said America is set up "to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off as slow as possible."


Yeah. This is the America that's made you rich and famous. (You can even download Kayne West ringtones.)


Comedian Mike Myers was paired with West for a 90-second segment that began with Myers speaking of Katrina's devastation. Then, to Myers' evident surprise, West began a rant by saying, "I hate the way they portray us in the media. If you see a black family, it says they're looting. See a white family, it says they're looking for food."


Granted, the concert was full of entertainers such as the sublime Harry Connick, Jr. and Aaron Neville, New Orleans natives, who are above that kind of nonsense. But what genius picked West to be on this program in the first place? Read on:


While allowing that "the Red Cross is doing everything they can," West who delivered an emotional outburst at the American Music Awards after he was snubbed for an award declared that government authorities are intentionally dragging their feet on aid to the Gulf Coast. Without getting specific, he added, "They've given them permission to go down and shoot us." [bold mine]


This is a guy who records songs with lyrics like this:

And we gone stay hustling on the block until we caught
And we gone stay showing off that jewelry that we bought
And we gone stay heated in case it's in and out of court'
Cause we some gangstas, I don't know what the f--- you thought

Hello!!! Earth to America!!! The thugs stealing plasma screen TVs and shooting at law enforcement officers -- who do you think they listen to??? Sheesh.

NBC has stated that West's comments were unscripted and in no way reflect the opinions of the network, but Matt Lauer's wimpy apologetics at the end of the broadcast don't make me feel all warm and cozy:


... Lauer noted that "emotions in this country right now are running very high. Sometimes that emotion is translated into inspiration, sometimes into criticism. We've heard some of that tonight. But it's still part of the American way of life."


No, Mr. Lauer, that wasn't "criticism," it was SLANDER against our Commander in Chief and every non-black in this country. It was perverse, ignorant, racist excrement. You should have just left it alone instead of trying to recast it as good ol' American dissent.

And whether NBC realized West was a loose cannon is irrelevant. He's a rap pornographer and has no business being on a charity concert during family hour.

Give me a friggin' break.

Tell ya what, Hollywood. Just keep your money. You're going to need it. You insist on showing your contempt and ignorance, and you wonder why fewer and fewer Americans are buying your CDs and watching your movies.

Idiots.

ADDENDUM: Do I think the federal government's response has been effective or speedy? NO. Do I think the State of Louisiana or the City of New Orleans had a handle on things? NO. However, you cannot reduce this situation to a simple "blame Bush" formula, and the suggestion that Bush and all of non-black America would be pleased as punch to see black people die is reprehensible and profane.

I think we've just seen race relations set back about 20 years, thanks to provocateurs like Kanye West.

Bloggers unite for hurricane relief!!

The GGB will keep the post on top for the time being. Scroll down for newer posts.


The Katrina Blog for Relief Effort has been extended through the Labor Day weekend, and your humble correspondent is jumping into the fray. So far, nearly 1,500 blogs from 24 nations have joined the rally.

The GGB is proud to endorse World Vision, an international Christian humanitarian agency with a fine record of fiscal responsibility and effective intervention. If you have not donated to a charity organization yet, I highly recommend World Vision.

If you happen to donate to World Vision because of this post, please e-mail me and note the amount of your contribution so we can add it to the tally. This is on the honor system, so please be honest!

So far, bloggers and their readers have donated or pledged nearly half a million dollars!! Let's get those numbers up even more!!

Well, they don't all hate us

Australia announced a donation of $8 million to the American Red Cross. “The United States is so often at the forefront of international aid efforts to help less fortunate nations,” Foreign Minister Alexander Downer said. “So it is only fitting that Australia should contribute to the daunting task of helping the thousands of American citizens whose lives have been thrown into turmoil by this unprecedented disaster,” he said.

Thank YOU, Minister Downer!!

UPDATE: The Hurricane relief international honor roll : nations that have offered support, according to the Associated Press.

Australia
Austria
Bahamas
Belgium
Canada
China
Colombia
Cuba
Dominica
Dominican Republic
El Salvador
France
Germany (uh ... thanks)
Greece
Guatemala
Guyana
Honduras
Hungary
Indonesia
Israel
Italy
Jamaica
Japan
Lithuania
Mexico
Netherlands
New Zealand
Norway
Paraguay
Russia
Saudi Arabia
Singapore
South Korea
Spain
Sri Lanka
Switzerland
United Arab Emirates
United Kingdom
Venezuela

A fascinating list -- some of these countries are our steady allies, others aren't exactly bursting with resources but still are offering help. Their generosity is touching.

And now, a word from the lunatic Right

I was just waiting for something like this to happen.

The blogmaster of Eve's Apple reports that she received an interesting bit of e-mail from an outfit called Columbia Christians for Life. I'll summarize:

The e-mail includes a satellite shot of Katrina that, if you squint your eyes and hold your mouth correctly, somewhat resembles a fetus. (Just like the speckles on this wheat cracker I'm eating look like morse code for ELVIS IS ON MARS.) The conclusion? God is judging New Orleans for its high abortion rate. REPENT NOW!

I guess after the backwards-masking craze wore off, they had go lookin' for encoded messages somewhere.

The GGB is pro-life but largely agrees with pro-lifer Kathy at Relapsed Catholic:

This unattractive face of the pro-life movement is inadvertently responsible for the continuation of abortion, because most self-respecting, intelligent, mature people can't bring themselves to campaign side by side with them. [bold in the original]

At least Robertson and Falwell have, to my knowledge, managed to keep their pie holes shut.

Note to the moonbats: Talk to the hand

A contingent of the unhinged Left is blaming Bush for pretty much the entire Hurricane Katrina catastrophe.

One particuarly repulsive person is refusing to give to hurricane relief efforts because he says the Red Staters elected Bush and put conservative policy in place that, according to him, is to blame, and therefore it's the Red States' problem, not his.

Never mind the inconvenient fact that the urban blacks who are suffering so badly in New Orleans more than likely voted Democratic, but what's the truth when you have an irrepressible urge to show your rectum to the whole world? I dare this guy to get a bullhorn and a boat, go down to the French Quarter and tell those people why he's not going to help out.

I'm not going to link to him or any other moonbat. I'm not going to name them. I'm not going to post comments on their blogs. Google them if you want to. I've already spent five minutes perusing their bile, and that was five minutes too long.

True Americans already have them figured out.