Unspeakably tragic

Two-year-old Bronner Burgess, son of Rick Burgess of "Rick and Bubba" fame, died last night from drowning in the family swimming pool. Investigators have ruled it a tragic accident.

The city of Birmingham is reeling. Yesterday was such a day of wonder for our city's small children, many of whom had never seen snow before. Now, there's a sad shadow on that happy memory.

God's grace be upon the Burgess family and everyone else who loved little Bronner.

White Saturday

Central Alabama is getting its first significant snowfall since 2000, and hubby and I are enjoying a quiet and relaxed day of the white stuff. Behold. To the left are our cars, Betsy and Gladys. Interestingly, the snow on the Bug's hood has slipped to the ground, but Gladys' hood rendered a bounty of clean snow for making snow cream. I used Michelle Malkin's recipe but substituted evaporated milk for the regular milk. Even better!

I am now threatening to break out the cocoa, evap milk, cinnamon and cayenne for some righteous Mexican-style hot chocolate, and hubby is very happy about this.

UPDATE: The hot chocolate is a hit! Here's the recipe:

In a coffee mug, combine
- 1 T plus 1/4 tsp. sugar
- 3 tsp. cocoa powder
- pinch of salt

Meanwhile, microwave 1 cup of evaporated milk on high for 1 minute or until hot but not scalding. Pour the heated milk into the mug, stirring briskly to combine the dry ingredients with the milk.

Add freshly ground cinnamon, fresly ground nutmeg and cayenne pepper powder to taste. Finish with a dash of vanilla extract.

Que delicioso!

The GGB 10-second roundup of last night's GOP forum

Fred -- rules.
Mitt -- plastic.
Giuliani -- sharp.
McCain -- irritating.
Huckabee -- nauseating.
Ron Paul supporters holding up signs outside the focus group -- trolls.

Just one thought on the Iowa Caucus

Tonight -- just for tonight -- I like Barack Obama. Because he kicked Hillary's butt. And he made a helluva speech. And I can't stand Huckabee.














Pwned!

Methinks the lady doth protest too much

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the latest inductee into the 15 Minutes Hall of Fame: Jane Doe of the "Rock My World" commercial fame. Here's the story on Fox News, and here's the video of the jewelry ad that Jane Doe claims made her look pornographic without her consent. (She's suing for $5 mil, saying it has tarnished her "wholesome" image.) Please note, the video is somewhat NSFW.

Hmmm, let's see ....

Lacy nightie? Check.
Red satin sheets? Check.
Writhing? Check.
Stroking the face? Check.
Heavy breathing? Check.

As an astute commenter on YouTube said, "I can see why she's upset. The director just asked her to act like she's playing tennis."

No wonder he kept it a secret so long

Singer Neil Diamond has just revealed the inspiration for his hit "Sweet Caroline" -- none other than Caroline Kennedy, daughter of the late JFK. "It was a picture of a little girl dressed to the nines in her riding gear, next to her pony," Diamond recalled. "It was such an innocent, wonderful picture, I immediately felt there was a song in there."

That would be ... uh ... sweet, but let's review the evidence:

Neil Diamond is 66.
Caroline Kennedy is 50.
The song was written 40 years ago, which means Diamond would have been 26 and Kennedy 10.
The song contains lyrics such as:

Hands, touchin hands
Reachin out
Touchin me
Touchin you

And ...

But now I
Look at the night
And it dont seem so lonely
We fill it up with only two
And when I hurt
Hurtin runs off my shoulders
How can I hurt when Im with you

Does anyone else besides me find this a little creepy??? Now I'm not going to be able to hear that song without thinking of ... never mind.

I guess I should blog again

Hey, folks. GGB here. A friend of mine with a three-year-old and a newborn is showing me out by blogging almost daily, so I figured it was high time to get my hiney in gear and talk to the world.

Hi, world.

Yesterday, hubby and I passed the 200-day mark of our wedded bliss. I keep waiting for that dreaded "tough first year" to materialize, but so far it hasn't. The toughest things about 2007 have come from outside, not from within. No, if anything, 200 days have proven that I chose beautifully. "Peas and carrots" comes to mind.

Otherwise, it's been hard to know what to blog about. It's been nice not having a day job to complain about, and days at home have been mostly productive and absolutely peaceful. Coming up on an election year, you'd think I'd be back in political-junkie mode, but lately the news only gets me angry. Suffice it to say, Hillary Clinton is a Marxist and I will vote for her opponent, whoever that may be. In fact, I'm kinda tickled that Pat Robertson -- kooky as he is -- decided to endorse Giuliani, especially after James Dobson's whining that none of the front runners is Jesus-y enough.

Speaking of Jesus ...

Michael Horton is my hero. (After Jesus.) I finally got my hands on a copy of a fantastic volume he edited, titled Christ the Lord: The Reformation and Lordship Salvation. For those of you who did not grow up Southern Baptist, this will be meaningless, but this book has finally settled the anxieties of this former SBC'er who grew up constantly hearing: "Are you really, really, really, really, REALLY saved?" (For those of you who did grow up So. Baptist, I hope you are giggling now. And go buy the book.)

Okay, our older dog is giving me that look. Time to feed the mutts. Arividerci!

Dumb government idea of the day

FDA considers additional food labels

Memo to the FDA: Believe it or not, it is not your responsibility to make sure we eat our greens and don't pig out on Doritos. And cigarette packs are labeled to hell and gone and that doesn't discourage most people from smoking, now does it?

Dragon*Con recap

Hubby and I got home LATE last night from Atlanta. His brother and sis-in-law gave us weekend passes to Dragon*Con and two nights' lodging as a wedding gift, and a good time was had by all. A few highlights:

• Rich went over on Wednesday night to attend a two-day writing seminar hosted by author Ann Crispin and gave it rave reviews.
• Sunday night, we saw a panel discussion on "Beer Snobs in Space" on the schedule and decided to attend. (Rich is a homebrew and winemaking enthusiast.) The featured speaker had to cancel at the last minute, but a group of homebrewers filled in -- and they brought samples. :) Props to the chemistry professor who brought his "Imperial Death Star Stout" and the dude in black who treated us to real honeymead. So cool. Man, I love geeks.
• I got to meet two male idols from my childhood -- Erik Estrada of CHiPS fame and Gil Gerard, better known as Buck Rogers. Gil was friendly and wisecracking; Erik looked unbelievably handsome, even 30 years past his CHiPS days. When I told him my mom loved him, he asked her name and said, "Be sure to tell her I said hi." I called her later and told her I had a special message from Erik Estrada. Tickled her to death.
• I also got to meet three Star Trek: TNG cast members: John DeLancie ("Q") and Jonathan Frakes ("Commander Riker") were polite but seemed like they really needed a nap. (Granted, this was yesterday on the last day of the con.) But Brent Spiner ("Data") made my day. Super nice, joked with me and looked terrific.

Special note: I'm sad that our buddies Tom and Minde couldn't make the con, but they had good reason: Their daughter was born Friday. :) Welcome to Geek World, little girl.

ISO: Halloween recipes that don't induce vomiting

I love Halloween. I hate Googling for Halloween recipes.

To everyone out there who posts Halloween recipes: Please put your vomit-inducing recipes on a separate page AWAY from the recipes for roasted pumpkin seed and caramel apples. I am getting so tired of searching for innocent recipes and instead stumbling upon these appetizing selections:

*** Please do not read if you've recently had a meal or plan to within the next hour. ***

"Bloody Popcorn"
"Kitty Litter Cake"
"Brains and Eyeballs"
And perhaps the all-time worst: "Hair Salad with Saliva Dressing"

I am not 11. I do not think that gross is cool. I do not want to consume food that may taste fabulous but looks like roadkill, bodily waste or a serious industrial accident. I do not want scary bits floating in my beverage. I do not want to consume things that remind me of sinusitis.

I was at a Halloween party years ago at the home of this artsy-tartsy couple of university professors. The house was way out in the hinterland, which just gave you this heightened sense of foreboding. (Oh, so this is where they hide the bodies?) The decorations were fabulous in a house that already had this quirky Dali-esque spookiness about it. (The kitchen was decorated RED and BLACK.) The appetizers were delicious and the beverages were flowing.

I was having a grand old time swanning about in my Bollywood princess outfit when some knucklehead guest brings out the kitty litter cake. In a real kitty litter box with a scoop.

Although my rational forebrain knew I was looking at rolled oats dotted with some kind of fig paste, my reptilian brain was screaming, "DO NOT EAT POOP! DANGER! DANGER! DO NOT EAT POOP! POOP BAD! POOP BAD!"

I could feel the bile rising in the back of my throat. I wanted to punch the guy.

So, all you recipe posters: No gross stuff where I can easily find it. Thank you.

Alton Brown on the real reason we cook

Our Patron Saint of Perpetual Good Eats


The GGB recently gave up her 40-hour-a-week Corporate America job for a kinder gig as Household COO (and occasional dance teacher and freelancer). When my former coworkers asked me if I was looking forward to a change of pace, I often told them I was excited about cooking dinner and having it ready when my husband gets home.

A few people looked at me as if I'd said I was going to be manacled to a stove and given daily beatings for my trouble.

It is not fashionable these days to be enthusiastic about the home arts. And if you do cook, you're supposed to do it as quickly as possible a la Rachael Ray. (That's another post entirely. The woman is a blight on humanity.)

However, I picked up on a bit of cosmic brilliance by the anti-Rachael, the sensei of culinary kung fu, the high priest of all that is sacred and holy about the range top and the saute pan. I give you words of wisdom from Alton Brown:

... feeding someone is an act of caring. We will always be fed best by those that care, be it ourselves or the aforementioned friends and family.We are fat and sick and dying because we have handed a basic, fundamental and intimate function of life over to corporations. We choose to value our nourishment so little that we entrust it to strangers. We hand our lives over to big companies and then drag them to court when the deal goes bad. This is insanity.

Amen, brother.

How come no one ever "finds" Buddha?

Puppy murderer Michael Vick says he has "found Jesus" and now claims that dogfighting is a "terrible thing."

Ever notice how no one ever "finds Buddha" or "achieves nirvana" in the pokey? (And Vick isn't even in jail yet. This must be a record.) I'm just saying that since Eastern-style religion is all the rage these days, I'm curious as to why it's the Jesus card that gets played.

Ministers behaving badly. Congregants behaving stupidly.

"The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer [bishop], he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money."

-- St. Paul, I Timothy 3:1-3

Evangelist Juanita Bynum recently got the stuffing knocked out of her in a hotel parking lot by her husband, "Bishop" Thomas Weeks III. A hotel bellman witnessed the attack, as relayed here in an article by Fox News:

"They were talking about a reconciliation. They got into an argument. In the process of the argument, her husband walked out to the parking lot area, turned back around and started to choke Miss Bynum," [Atlanta police officer Ronald ] Campbell said.

"As he choked her, he pushed her down to the ground and started to kick her and also stomp on her," he said. "There was a bellman at the location who witnessed the whole assault, intervened, and pulled Mr. Weeks off of Miss Bynum."

"Bishop" Weeks has yet to repent and instead took a few brief moments in the pulpit this past Sunday (before a guest preacher delivered the sermon) to blame the devil for his troubles, according to the Atlanta Journal Constitution. His congregants are being all mashy-mouthed about "not judging." One particularly pathetic comment to the AJC site [emphases mine]:

I am a member of Global Destiny. I was there yesterday and I support Bishop 100%. He is a true man of God who made a mistake. I get paid on this week and will sow my entire pay check to the ministry. I know these are trying times for him financially. My 8 year daughter does not mind forfeiting "back to school shopping" b/c Bishop weeks is in need. Praying is not enough. We need ot take action. I signed the thing on yesterday to have the Judge decrease the felony to a misdemeanor. I am praying that his case is dismissed due ot self defense or he gets Community Service. Everyone does stuff they regret. I know he is pure, he did not mean to hurt her-he got caught up in the heat of the moment. I pray that he will Preach on this coming Sunday.

Good Lord Almighty, this is so cosmically insane, I don't even know where to begin. Weeks is in flagrant violation of at least four Biblical requirements to be a bishop, and not only is he not being held accountable, people are flinging MONEY at him!!! ENTIRE PAYCHECKS!!!

"Judge not," my arse. I cannot judge Weeks' heart or motivations, but I sure as heck can judge that smacking your wife around is a big fat honkin' no-no for any man who claims to be a Christian, much less a "Bishop." And when church members do not stand up and demand decent behavior from their leaders, it makes us all look like cretins and gives cover to ignorant people who think that the Bible actually endorses that kind of behavior.

Aggghhhh. I want to throw something.

And now I'm appalled by Fox News' commercials, too

I am, admittedly, tuning in to Fox News via XM Radio to catch up on the horrible bridge collapse in Minnesota. Call me a rubbernecker.

I'm glad that my handy-dandy pink Pioneer Inno displays the name of the programming, including when the program switches to commercials. I can mute it when they're yammering about ordering Viagra and Cialis online.

Sheesh. It's like listening to spam.

Hostage Watch: Apparently, Amnesty International doesn't give a damn

The Associated Press is reporting this morning:

Afghan Police Find Body of Second South Korean Hostage


Out of curiosity, I checked Amnesty International's Web site to see what they had to say about the detention, mistreatment and summary execution of now TWO South Korean Christian workers:

::: crickets chirping :::

Oh. Hm. Nothing on the home page. I searched their site for the keywords "south korean hostages." I got four hits and keyword-searched each of them. I did discover that the U.S., apparently, is "denying human dignity" in the war on terror. Read all about it here. But the South Koreans in Afghanistan? I guess they're at a Talibani resort or something and the two found dead were just oopsies.

News -- Not News

What is "news." A primer.

News:

NOT News:

Any questions?

HOSTAGE WATCH: Update: Oh, shit.

This is Bae Ho-jung, father of South Korean pastor Bae Hyeong-gyu, who is reported to have been murdered by the Taliban. (AP photo) Our prayers are with you, brother.

UPDATE: 12:43 p.m. Central: It's been reported that the murdered pastor may have died of illness. Whatever. Six of one ... you know the routine. If he was that sick, he should have been in a hospital instead of in whatever shithole the Taliban stuck him in.

Barbarians.

UPDATE: July 25, 11:17 a.m. Central.

Michelle Malkin is on the case and reports that the body of a South Korean riddled with bullet holes has been found in Afghanistan.

I'm sick now.

Oh, NOW Fox News has the story on its homepage. Gee. Thanks, guys.

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Posted yesterday:

The GGB is just now recovering from a pretty nutso three months of newlywed life. (See my July 4 post for all the details.) I've been fasting somewhat from news and blogs because, well, I'm sick of reading about another bombing in Baghdad, and the only good thing about Lindsay Lohan's substance abuse problems is she's bumped Paris Hilton's orange-glo mug off the screen.

And then I read about this.

I just sent Fox News a snippy e-mail because THEY of ALL PEOPLE should at least have a MENTION of this on their homepage. But no. Alongside some legit headlines about global politics and Fred Thompson's campaign, we have these supermarket tabloid-worthy headlines:

"Live Well With Low IQ, No-Brainer"
"Man Has 33-Pound Tumor Removed From Face"
"Kim Jong-Il's Favorite Magician Injured in Risky Trick"

For the love of God and all that is holy, WAKE UP, PEOPLE! Good Lord Almighty, will you stop with the idiotic TRIVIA and stupid celebrity tricks and missing-pretty-woman dramas and start reporting the @#$%^% NEWS!!!!!!!!

When I need useless fluff, I'll watch WE TV or the Style Network. But when I turn on the news, I want frickin' NEWS! N-E-W-S!!!!

A dispatch from the other side of the altar

@#$%^&

Dad gummit.

No, I love marriage -- seriously -- it's just the upgrade in Blogger that's locked me out of my account for months and made me a little frustrated.

Okay ... where was I? Oh, yes ... marriage!!

At this moment, hubby and I are lounging in our brand-new, king-size Tempur Pedic bed (top of the line, mind you), with blankets and a duvet made of yards of the stuff that feels like plush teddy bears. We're in our PJs, Rich is reading Harry Potter and I am, well, blogging. Obviously. He's made us both coffee, and we're enjoying a rare quiet morning, punctuated by the cats walking across our laps and the occasional goofy-eyed glance.

Wedded bliss at its finest. THIS is what I'd hoped marriage would be like.

On the other hand, if you've been reading Rich's blog, you'll know that we've had a little drama in our world. That "in sickness and in health" clause kicked in way earlier than I expected when Rich was hit nearly head-on and totaled his Altima four days after we got home from Jamaica. It wasn't his fault and he had no permanent bodily damage, but he had some of the most horrifying bruises I've ever seen on a human being.

Since then, we've had the final move of my junk to the house. (Rich says that the garage looks like the final scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark.) One of our dogs required emergency surgery and had a return trip to the vet this past weekend. My sister got pregnant (minor miracle). Then she miscarried (major heartbreak).

And I still love married life!

Rich and I have had each other to lean on and trust in during this cluster of minor trials. After viewing the aftermath of Rich vs. Shelby County patrol car (yes -- a cop hit him), I am grateful to God to have a husband to come home to. The cats and dogs are getting along, and the house -- though disorganized and far from complete in its transition -- is looking more and more like a home rather than a bachelor pad.

And it's peaceful. Especially this morning.

Happy Fourth of July, everyone.

Fatwa'ed: Imam sez you can't be nekkid during sex with your spousal unit

Good thing I'm not Muslim:

Leading Islamic Cleric: Nudity During Sex Annuls Marriage (Hat tip: LGF)

But if I were Muslim, this would lead to some interesting questions: Can I wear a hat? How about stillettos? Two Band-Aids and dental floss?

One LGF commenter wondered if there was an online database for fatwas -- they're getting so hard to keep up with. Is there an official Fatwa Report? How about an RSS feed? Perhaps you can sign up for e-mail fatwa alerts to get your fresh fatwas every morning.

Can I issue a fatwa? Do I have to be Muslim? Do I have to fill out an application or something? I've been wanting to issue a fatwa against telemarketers. And Michael Bolton.

Texas hospital wants to "pull the plug" on infant -- against parents' wishes

I'm so mad about this story, I don't think I'm capable of writing coherently right now. I'll let you get the details:

Texas Law Could Force Infant's Life Support to Be Pulled

Suffice it to say that I think hospital "officials" have no business making end-of-life judgments over and above the wishes of parents. God help us all.