Dennisblogging, part 2: Jimmy Buffett fantasies and fond memories

Ooops ... wrong Dennis. But while we have him here, let's gaze at him for a moment before going to ...

... this Dennis.

Scary.

It's Saturday morning, 10:30 a.m., and already things are beeping at me. Between the weather alerts I get on my cell phone from our local ABC affiliate to Weatherbug chirps on my desktop, Hurricane Dennis action is already heating up. (Speaking of heat, it's already 91 degrees here in the Magic City. Yikes!)

Can you tell I'm a weather nut? Did you have any doubt?

My area already is under an inland tropical storm watch and a flash flood watch. I-65 between Mobile and Montgomery already has been relaned for all-northbound traffic to accommodate the refugees.

My heart breaks for those people. They've already been through hell with Hurricane Ivan back in September. I haven't been to the Gulf since summer '04, but I read yesterday that about a third of the condos in Gulf Shores and Orange Beach still are uninhabitable. Another hit, and it could be a VERY long time before the Alabama Gulf Coast fully recovers.

Our Gulf Coast is one of the real treasures of living in this state. The old-world flavor of Mobile ... the unbelievably charming Fairhope on the opposite side of Mobile Bay ... the dazzling white beaches of Pleasure Island. The thought of losing any of it makes this Alabama girl very, very sad -- along with pretty much all of the four million people in this state.

For most Alabamians, the Gulf Coast is a treasure box of sweet memories. I'll never forget a weekend I spent in Fairhope about 10 years ago to attend the wedding of two church friends. The bride was originally from Fairhope, and what a cool place to call home. EVERYTHING in that town of about 10,000 is pretty. Even the trash bins are hidden within clean, white wooden boxes with impatiens planted on top.

Three girlfriends and I made the long trek down after work one Friday night. We'd rented a cottage at a B&B called Villa Whimsy. Before settling in, we stopped at the famous Old Bay Steamer for piña coladas and fresh seafood. We sat along the restaurant's built-in aviary and watched chartreuse and aqua birds hop and flutter.

Later -- very tired and very full -- we found Villa Whimsy and checked into what I can only describe as a Jimmy Buffet fantasy: The walls were covered with bamboo up to about six inches from the ceiling. The rest of the walls and ceiling were painted midnight blue with gold stars. The king-sized bed had ship's rope wrapped around the four posters. The TV sat on what looked like an old ship's chest with Mardi Gras beads spilling out.

We all just looked at each other and smiled.

The next morning, our hosts prepared a delicious breakfast and served it to us on the deck that looked out onto Mobile Bay. The afternoon wedding was at an old church in town, the reception at the bride's home, "Peppermint Cove." (EVERYTHING in Fairhope has a cute name.)
I could give you several more stories ... the week I spent on Dauphin Island on a school trip in 7th grade ... a thunderstorm witnessed two years ago from the deck of a condo in Gulf Shores ... more than one good meal eaten at landmarks such as Hazel's, Coconut Willie's and Live Bait.

I'm reminded of a few lines from a Jimmy Buffett tune, "One Particular Habor":

I know I don't get there often enough
But God knows I surely try
It's a magic kind of medicine
That no doctor could prescribe

I wasn't able to make my annual trek to the Coast this year because of all the moolah I had to shell out for the Big Move.

I just hope there's something waiting for me when I finally return.

Dennisblogging

Hurricane Dennis, that nasty little bugger, is about to stir up trouble for us Alabamians. And yes, even Birmingham -- some 300 miles from the coast -- can get clobbered when you have a hurricane this strong headed straight for you.

I am deeply concerned that our beautiful Gulf Coast, still torn up from September's Ivan, cannot handle another battering. In fact, if Dennis remains a category 4 or -- shudder -- becomes even stronger, this could be catastrophic.

Meanwhile, I know more than one person who had trees fall on their homes during Ivan. Lucky me, I didn't even lose power. But if you know anything about Birmingham, you can't go anywhere without running into a tree, and there are LOTS of 'em around the GGB's new domicile. Nevertheless, I plan to stick it out and will hopefully be able to blog from my iPaq downstairs if being in the office upstairs looks a little dicey.

More to come ...

Solidarity with Britain

Thanks to an idea by Michelle Malkin, I, too, will keep the Union Jack flying up top today. Scroll down for updates.

God bless the people of the UK.

From The Guardian: If you need information on someone who may have been injured in the attack, the British police have listed this emergency hotline number: 44-0870-1566-344.

UPDATE: Reuters reports that the London attacks fit the Al Quaeda pattern.

UPDATE II: I can't help wondering if it's mere coincidence that this attack occurred the day after London was awarded the next Olympiad. Certainly rubs salt on the wound.

UPDATE III: Timeline of this morning's events.

UPDATE IV: From an Islamicist Web site:

“Rejoice, Islamic nation. Rejoice, Arab world. The time has come for vengeance against the Zionist crusader government of Britain in response to the massacres Britain committed in Iraq and Afghanistan.”

Is it just me, or do all terrorist press releases/proclamations sound like bad dialogue from a third-rate adventure movie shown at 2 a.m.? Maybe Al Quaeda is populated with frustrated screenwriters and guys who flunked their literature classes. Who knows. They all sound like they're trying to write a new chapter of the Quran or something. What miserable, pathetic jerks trying to make something of their miserable, pathetic lives.

I heard the news today, oh boy

Oddly, I had intended to title yesterday's post "I heard the news today, oh boy," but another Lennon tune seemed more apropos.

A few random notes:

Now that innocent people are dying on Western soil again, the people who blow up planes, trains and automobiles are "terrorists" rather than "insurgents." (Although I've noticed the AP is scrupulously avoiding the t-word except in direct quotes.) Speculation abounds as to whether this is the job of Islamicists or, rather, the IRA or an anarchist group. (My money's with Al Quaeda, but we'll see.) Tony Blair looked noticably shaken in his press conference. I have no idea if this will galvanize the British against terrorism and in favor of the WOT or if they'll crumple like the Spaniards did. Considering how they've dealt with IRA "insurgents," I'm assuming the former, but I could be wrong. The UK is in a much different situation vis a vis its Muslim population than the U.S., and the UK does not have a large evangelical Christian population, a group that is a primary engine of pro-Israel sentiment in the U.S.

Will be interesting to see how this unfolds. Not to be cavalier, but at least I can get some real news now.

Imagine there's no heaven? No thanks!!

It's these kinds of stories that make you thank -- and question -- God:

Shasta: Duncan Kidnapped, Molested Dylan and Me (Fox News)

Thank God that happened to no kid in my family ... but who would want that to happen to ANY kid?

The atheists say there is no good answer to evil such as this, and therefore there is no God. I do believe in God, but I have no good answers to evil such as this, either. At least, no answers that soothe the soul and brighten the spirit when there are monsters roaming the countryside who devour innocent children.

But I cannot take John Lennon's advice and imagine that there is no heaven, and no religion, too. No, John, I'd prefer to believe there is a heaven where Dylan now is safe in the arms of God and no molester or murderer ever can touch him ... and a hell where an unrepentant child molester and murderer receives justice.

Is it not stories like this that drive home the fact that yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as evil? If we cannot find it in six million Jews murdered or 3,000 executed in burning skyscrapers, can we not find it in the living nightmare of rape and murder committed against children? Can imagination or affirmation or meditation fix that???

White House hypocrisy over Mexican stamp

The White House is criticizing Mexico's issuing a stamp that features a cartoon character that unflatteringly depicts blacks. I wish the White House would worry more about Mexico's outrageous complicity with illegal border-crossers than a silly stamp.

Yeah, the stamp is offensive, but it's really none of our business from an international relations standpoint. However, it is very much our business when Mexico City issues a guide on crossing the border, including illegal crossings!!

Bush needs to stop doing the Macarena with Vincente Fox and dam up the borders. That we have not had a domestic attack since 9/11 is perhaps more due to sheer dumb luck than brilliant foreign policy.

Liveblogging the Richard Scrushy verdict

11:47 a.m.: Much blather about Scrushy leading prayer with his "Amen Corner."

(For those of you not familiar with the trial, Scrushy suddenly decided to join a mostly black church after he was indicted. He also hired a black attorney. Birmingham proper has a large African-American contingency. I'll let you draw your own conclusions.)

11:50 a.m.: The GGB prediction -- he'll get off scot free. Not because I think he's innocent.

11:51 a.m.: Anyone who's ever worked for HealthSouth will tell you the idea that Scrushy knew nothing about the fraud being perpetrated by the corporation is complete bupkus.

11:58 a.m.: Verdicts being read. He's been acquitted on one conspiracy count. Waiting for the others.

11:59 a.m.: Counts 1-15. Not guilty.

12:03 p.m.: Not guilty on all counts. What did I tell you?

Schmuck.

The quotable Coen brothers

Inspired by AFI's 100 Top Movie Quotes, I thought I'd share a few of my faves from the Coen brothers' O Brother, Where Art Thou?, one of the most quotable movies ever.

• "Damn, we're in a tight spot!"
  
• "You two are dumber than a bag of hammers."
  
• "I've said my piece and counted to three."
  
• "We ... thought ... you ... was ... a ... toad!"
  
• "I'm the damn paterfamilias!"
  
• "Well! Ain't this place a geographical oddity! Two weeks from everywhere!"
  
• "Mrs. Hogwallop done R-U-N-N-O-F-T."
  
• "Is you is or is you ain't my constituency?"
  

Fairly unbalanced

I've had about as much as I can take of the Dead & Missing Kids Revue and the Gitmo Follies.

Spent considerable time at my computer Saturday working from home, so much of the time I had Fox News keeping me company. Over the course of several hours, here were the big stories:

- Natalee Holloway is still missing.
- Detainees at Gitmo eat better than our soldiers and get free ice cream if they're good.
- Three little boys died in a car trunk when it accidentally shut.
- A 14-year-old girl died from a shark attack in Florida.

Not one ... not ONE ... mention of the watershed Supreme Court decision from last Thursday that basically said the government can take your property if Mr. Big Land Developer wants it. If I didn't follow blogs, I doubt I would have known about this.

Folks, as much as I love FNC, this is ridiculous. Aside from the minor public service value of these missing/dead children stories, at the end of the day, it doesn't make much difference to me. Not that I don't emotionally respond to these families' plights. I do, and my prayers are with them.

But for the love of Pete, Fox has Geraldo Rivera and Greta Van Susteren in Aruba detailing every sniffle. Meanwhile, the Supreme Court is using the Constitution for toilet paper.

(And don't even get me started on Gitmo.)

So, dear Fox, please, alert me if they find Natalee Holloway or if they actually charge someone with a crime. (I have yet to figure out the Dutch legal system.) Until then, could we have some real news?

UPDATE: Oh, I forgot. They also mentioned that Runaway Bride Jennifer Wilbanks was interviewed by Katie Couric and her story may be made into a TV program.

Lord. Help. Us. All.

Wilbanks supposedly said that she ran away because she was afraid she couldn't be the "perfect wife" for her fiancé, John Mason.

No argument from me, Jen!

We make lousy gods, part III

(See my first two posts on this subject here and here.)

Michael Jackson and a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet. Funny where you find a little revelation.

In my two earlier posts on this topic, I talked about how fame and money screws with your head. Too much of it and you start thinking you're the Supreme Deity and live in a fantasy world of your own construction while, to the rest of the world, you just look like a buffoon. And to have the audacity to commission a painting of the Lord's Supper with yourself in the role of Christ as Michael Jackson did. Sheesh.

But I realized that Michael Jackson simply put his money where the human heart is. Frankly, we all like to star as God, don't we?

And what about that Excel spreadsheet? Oh yeah. I was working on my finances earlier and realized I'd severely overshot my budget for the month. At his height, Michael Jackson was worth half a billion. I earn about a hundreth of a percent of that, and I don't do that well with it. Would I do any better if I were earning gobs of money? I doubt it.

Michael Jackson had the money and the power to live out the basic human tendency: To do exactly what we want to do and not have anyone else tell us "no." Not that that is an excuse for reprehensible behavior. I hope that even if I had his fame and bank account I'd refrain from committing (alledged) felonies, and I'd appreciate it if he'd do likewise.

But if you had such power and insulation from the real-world consequences of your actions, just what sort of demons would come crawling out of the darkness?

I am glad I am not Michael Jackson, but in the cosmic scheme of things -- compared with God -- I am no "better" than he is.

We make lousy gods, part II

As I originally wrote here, human beings don't do well with near-omnipotence when they're suddenly rich and famous -- a la Michael Jackson.

So you can imagine how my ears pricked up when an interviewee on last night's broadcast of Why Michael Jackson Won (A&E) said that above his bed, Jackson has a painting of the Last Supper. Except the figure seated in the center is The Gloved One himself, not Jesus Christ.

::: shudder :::

Some clear thinking on Gitmo

I won't waste your synapses on a rant on Senator Dick Durbin. (I've already waxed eloquent on outrageous Nazi analogies here.)

Kathleen Parker rightly observes today that Gitmo deserves some scrutiny nonetheless, and Durbin's rantings are a distraction from some real problems at Gitmo, namely the sexual humiliation of male detainees by female soldiers.

Note: Might want to wait 'til after lunch to read this.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya ...

Question:

If Natalee Holloway had disappeared in Deadhorse, Alaska, would half of the world's journalists still be there?

And now that the Michael Jackson trial is over, will the other half of the world's journalists be jetting down to the Caribbean to speculate on who gave Joran van der Sloot that hideous haircut? (Note to the media: Please stop pronouncing the young man's first name as "urine.")

I must say, thought, I do relish the sight of Fox News' Rick Leventhal in his tropical whites.

Meow meow

Now HERE's something you don't see every day:

Oregon Cat Born With Two Faces

Cosmic narcissism

Via the Mudville Gazette, via Michelle Malkin, here's a charming story of "pastor" Fred Phelps of "God hates fags" fame in action again, this time protesting at the funeral of a fallen US servicewoman:

Phelps protests funeral

It's difficult to put into words how much I despise stunts like this.

This is beyond the pale. As far as we know, the late Corporal French wasn't even gay. (Not that that would justify anything.) Rather, Phelps is claiming that US deaths in Iraq are God's judgment against his church being bombed six years ago.

::: long sigh :::

Cosmic narcissism and religion is a very bad mix.

'Nuf said.

Why Thriller went to File 13

This pretty much sums it up.

My prediction

Michael Jackson will continue to play house with underage boys, if the adulation of the courthouse crowd is any indication of people's persistent stupidity when it comes to celebrities.

There will be another incident. This man is incapable of self-control. His head would explode if he did the very thing to protect himself from future allegations: Stay away from children.

And just for the record, my old cassette tape copy of Thriller went to File 13 some time ago.

Jacko verdict

::::: eyes rolling :::::::

He's bad, I know it.

UPDATE: To the person holding the "repent" sign -- I agree with your sentiments, but please, put down the poster board. You make us (Xians) all look silly.

UPDATE II: Watching him walk out of the courtroom, I think Jackson is on Xanax and ludes.

UPDATE III: If the verdict had been guilty, just what would that woman have done with the doves???

Folks, I have to admit, this is our legal system working properly, so to speak. They had no direct evidence and the accusers seriously lacked credibility.

However, our society is NOT working properly when a man who sleeps with underage children is venerated by screaming throngs.

God help us.

The inmates are running the asylum

All right, I'm getting cranky again.

Check out today's Nealz Nuze at Neal Boortz' site. (Today only -- I think the page refreshes daily.) Scroll down to "Border Insecurity." Deranged Canadian Gregory Despres was allowed into our fair land after customs agents relieved him of a homemade sword, a hatchet, a knife, brass knuckles and a chainsaw stained with blood.

Apparently his arsenal of weapons -- coupled with the fact that he's straight of central casting for a part in the next Friday the 13th film -- was not enough to get his sorry self sent back to Canada. (Which highlights the absolute inanity of customs enforcement. We spend millions keeping weed from entering the country, but a maniacal, chainsaw-toting Canadian? No problema!)

Well, wouldn't you know it. Mr. Despres wound up murdering an elderly couple. The husband's head was cut off and stuffed into a pillowcase. Is anyone surprised? Anyone? Anyone?

If this isn't proof positive that the people in charge of our border security are brain damaged, I don't know what is.

And one more thing: I am seriously beginning to think that Jennifer Wilbanks is on something.

Almost famous?

Although I'd never want to be as famous as Michael Jackson, it's trés cool to get a little recognition for your work.

The GGB was mentioned in a roundup of "blonde bloggers" at Blogcritics.org. Specifically mentioned was my rant about the f-word documentary. (And the challenges of reading Neal Stephenson when you have ADD. Oy vey!)

Should I tell them that I'm actually closer to brunette now? Mmmm ... nah ...