Geek Girl Blonde

So thoroughly disgusted with politics

2008-10-23T21:34:00.000-05:00

But THIS made my day.

http://view.break.com/592648 - Watch more free videos

Oh, I needed that

2008-09-16T10:55:00.001-05:00

Heh. Heh. Heh. Heh.

HT: Hot Air

From the GGB Zazzle Store

2008-09-16T10:13:00.000-05:00

La Femme Sarah T-shirt by wxgal1970
Create Custom Tshirts Using www.Zazzle.com

Playing the God card

2008-09-16T09:52:00.002-05:00

Will someone please tell me why Barack Obama gets a pass on this? I mean, Mike Huckabee has an ad with a bookcase that sorta kinda looks like a cross, and the media goes apey.

A word from the arch-bitch-shop

2008-08-10T21:50:00.012-05:00

This is American bishop Catherine Roskam, who caused a ruckus at the Anglican Church's Lambeth Conference. She basically said that because some men beat their wives, and most of the bishops at the conference are men, then there must be some wife-beaters among the bishops.

"We have 700 men here. Do you think any of them beat their wives? Chances are they do. The most devout Christians beat their wives... many of our bishops come from places where it is culturally accepted to beat your wife."

You know, some women are beyotches. There are an increasing number of ordained women in the Anglican Church, so there must be some beyotches among the female Anglican clergy.

RIP, Bernie Mac

2008-08-09T14:48:00.003-05:00

Just saw the devastating news on FoxNews.com that actor/comedian Bernie Mac has died at the age of 50.

My first real exposure to Bernie Mac was his role in Ocean's 11 and his unforgettable "hand lotion" scene. A comedic genius. God rest his soul.

Report: American TV has too much naughty sex. Nuh uhhhh!!!

2008-08-07T10:23:00.004-05:00

The Parents Television Council (PTC) has just released a report that reveals that American TV is big on extramarital sex and light on married sex.

Knock me over with a feather. Never woulda figured that one out on my own.

I kinda scratch my head over outfits like the PTC. I mean, community advocacy, awareness-raising, yada yada yada, good on them. On the other hand, what's the point? If you are too dumb to realize that the vast majority of television programming is inappropriate for kids, I hope you don't have them. And forget asking Hollywood to look like Kansas. Ain't gonna happen, folks.

The interesting thing is that the report admits that most married Americans have happier and more frequent sex than non-marrieds, so perhaps we're not so swayed by the boob tube. Either way, I do not expect the entertainment industry to reflect my values or teach my values. I just reach for the remote.

For what it's worth, here are the top five family-friendly programs in heavy TiVo rotation at GGB Central:

Good Eats
MythBusters
Modern Marvels
Big Daddy's Kitchen
Platinum Weddings

The GGB Announces Her Candidacy

2008-08-03T23:10:00.000-05:00

Read all about it here.

There's an upside to a Fred Phelps stalking

2008-07-14T01:58:00.004-05:00

Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist "Church" knuckleheads are at it again.

They picketed Tim Russert's funeral, and now they plan a repeat performance at the late great Tony Snow's funeral.

I'm beginning to think that instead of reviling these people, we ought to thank them. If you get picketed by Fred and Co., besides the unfortunate fact that you are dead, you probably did something right in life to piss him off. You were probably a fallen military hero or -- like Snow -- an honorable public figure. Heck, even Jeffrey Dahmer looks like a dignified saint next to Fred Phelps.

Seriously, as hard as it might be, I think Jill Snow ought to walk right up to Freddie, shake his hand and thank him for all the positive publicity for her dearly departed husband.

I'm only half joking.

Do you think there's a way to piss off Fred Phelps while you're still alive? I mean, wouldn't it be great to get a personal damning-to-hell from Freddo himself? I could sell T-shirts: "Fred Phelps' Proud Whore of Babylon Since 2008."

I mean, I don't think this guy is ever going to relent unless someone turns him into mashed potatoes. (Which I'm surprised hasn't happened yet.) Might as well make a profit and have some fun why he's still making an ass of himself.

Cursing the inevitable -- Tony Snow is gone

2008-07-12T10:03:00.004-05:00

I always liked Tony.

He seemed like such a real guy. Solid.

I will never forget the Sunday morning after 9/11. I sat on the edge of my bed, getting ready for church. Tony was on the air, delivering some heart-wrenching commentary that sent me over the edge. I started crying, wondering how he was holding it together himself.

Then he lost it. And I thought, Yep, he's a real person, too.

His affable on-air persona aside, you missed the best of Tony if you didn't read his print columns. In those lines, a very robust, passionate, funny, flawed man emerged. On his aging body:

There was a time, not long ago, when ... I liked shedding tops to display what little physique I possessed. But that was then. I am older. I've found profitable employment. I don't have vast stretches of leisure time. So gravity has taken hold. My sketchy little abs are gone -- along with the gumdrop biceps and squared-off deltoids -- and in their place, a substance eerily reminiscent of bread dough.

On the Clinton impeachment hearings. (This one made me blush.):

One hears not the crisp chiming of outrage, but the languid sigh of waves lapping ashore. The senators linger over the censorious syllables as if hovering over damsels of their dreams.

One senses the palpable thunder of thrumming hearts; the roar of violet, violent passions. While the young pols redden and wag their fingers, the old guys fumble through fobbed pockets for vials of nitroglycerin.

It seems that these honorables, with their demands for fresh revelation, secretly hope for talk of riding crops and nannies' bibs. Yet, whatever Monica's testimony brings, it won't teach us anything new about sex...

Even senators know this. Each has experienced the bursting joys and quiet aftermath of carnal congress.

Bursting joys and quiet aftermath. Tony!!

He was a true dude in every good way. The barest of coverage he's getting on Fox this morning (unlike the wall-to-wall coverage of Tim Russert's sudden passing) seems like a bit of a diss. So, I gladly spill some virtual ink for Tony this morning along with more than a few tears.

God rest your soul, Tony, and God bless your family.

UPDATE: Okay, it's the top of the hour and Fox is devoting a lot of time to Tony. Thank you.

BTW, don't miss clips of Tony jamming with his own ROCK BAND at Michelle Malkin's blog today. Played electric guitar, saxophone and flute!

Sigh. Heartbreaking.

Living in two worlds

2008-06-28T10:45:00.002-05:00

Greetings, comrades.

I've been away from blogging lately. I've been torn about how to live here, on GGB Central, as a flaming conservative ranting at Obama and the likes, and in my other world, where I am a dancer and artist and nearly always in the minority religion-wise and politics-wise, where rants don't go over so well. I usually don't talk about being the GGB in dance circles, and although plenty of people who know me as a conservative are well aware that I am hardly the buttoned-down, penny loafer type, sometimes -- you know -- they just don't get it. And because I am an old-fashioned, old-school reformed Christian outside the bailywig of Rick Warren and Joel Osteen, I am out of the mainstream for a lot of conservatives as well.

But I've been on Facebook for awhile, where my disparate identities converge. I guess I'm getting a little tired of my schizophrenic online existence, and maybe my artist friends might give me the time of day politically and religiously if I keep the ranting to a minimum and approach things thoughtfully ... as I hope I would face-to-face.

Should I do it here, or should I develop a new blog? I'm not sure, but stay tuned for a new tone.

LCMS? We don't need no stinkin' LCMS!!!

2008-05-28T19:23:00.002-05:00

Todd Wilken returns.

Take that, David Strand. Pppppllllppppttttt!!!!!!

Maxine Waters ...

2008-05-22T18:11:00.002-05:00

... threatened to "socialize" (she meant "nationalize") the oil companies in Congressional hearings today.

Solid 25-percenter, that Maxine is. Solid. Could we earmark some funds to send her a copy of Economics for Dummies? Anyone?

Stick it to the man! Vote for Obama!

2008-05-20T21:34:00.004-05:00

Just watched Obama's speech. I am so damn excited that he wants to reward work and not wealth. Because God knows, one has nothing to do with the other. I swear, all that lush, filthy wealth just materalizing out of nowhere -- no fair that CEOs own all the magic fairy wealth-creating dust and all us cretins have to work, work, work, work, work, work, work ...

Out of the mouths of babes ...

2008-04-11T11:34:00.003-05:00

Ya know, I never cared for the sung version of "The Lord's Prayer." (The song, not the prayer itself.) The melody is atrocious. Most people don't have the vocal range for it and murder the high notes. And at weddings, ministers always segue right into it from a spoken prayer, and I never know whether I can raise my head and watch the soloist, or if I'm supposed to still be looking at my shoes.

However, this tyke might make me a convert:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR4PQ30VkBk

She actually does a better job than most wedding singers I've heard, and I love her using Elmo as a prop.

The high notes, however, did startle my cat.

'Pregnant dude': hoax? UPDATE: Maybe not

2008-04-04T13:46:00.004-05:00

I wouldn't be blogging about the so-called "pregnant man," Thomas Beatie of Oregon, but methinks there is something wrong with "his" story. Here are two excerpts from an article on Yahoo! TV:

Beatie's wife Nancy said she inseminated him with a syringe using sperm purchased from a bank.

Okay, fine. This "man" apparently retained his female reproductive organs, and this is what you'd call the poor man's version of artificial insemination, BUT ...

The couple said an earlier attempt at pregnancy failed when he developed a tubal pregnancy, resulting in surgery that removed his Fallopian tubes.

If Thomas has no Fallopian tubes, how did an egg get from ovary to the uterus to wait for the syringe-introduced sperm? And why would an ectopic pregnancy call for removal of both tubes anyway? (Unless you had a twin ectopic pregnancy and both tubes were involved, which I imagine is rarer than being struck by lightning.)

Furthermore, I'm not a doctor but I have a family member who has gone through the throes of infertility treatments. All kinds of things can screw with your hormone levels, which must be just so to make conception possible. If he had been dosing himself with testosterone to the point that he has facial hair (even if he supposedly quit two years ago), I'm skeptical about this person's ability to conceive.

I guess we'll all find out in about three months.

UPDATE: Another article I found indicated he lost only one Fallopian tube, and Thomas insists that his body recovered back to its normal hormonal balance after ceasing testosterone. Like I said, we'll see.

If this is for real, I shudder.

Putting the "best construction" on the Issues, Etc. cancellation

2008-03-30T10:54:00.004-05:00

In all my reading about the sudden, inexplicable and (IMHO) unjustifiable cancellation of Issues, Etc., good Christian people of all stripes have been taking pains to put the "best construction" on the LCMS' actions. "Don't forget the Eighth Commandment!" they cry.

Yes, but ...

Let's say your husband comes home at 3 a.m. one night reeking of alcohol, stale smoke and pheromones. His clothes are rumpled. He has lipstick smears on his shirt and it's not your shade.

Now, how would you put the "best construction" on that scenario? He was abducted and held hostage in a nightclub by lipstick-wielding aliens?

The more the LCMS tries to spin the story, the worse they look. Their "explanations" have logic holes big enough to apply for statehood. (See Dr. Erich Heidenreich's excellent follow-up questions to the latest "statement" here.)

The LCMS went nuclear on Issues, Etc., and the only logical construction is that it was a complete and total repudiation of the show, its content and its host and producer.

The restoration of the archives and the LCMS' "explanations" have come only after holy fits from thousands of listeners.

I truly believe we have our answer, folks. From where I sit, the LCMS has no intention to bring back Issues, Etc., at least not with the robust content it produced under the leadership of Pastor Todd Wilken and the intrepid Jeff Schwarz. To me, the only point in continuing to scream at the LCMS is to get someone ... anyone ... to cop to the decision and admit that this was a political hit. Barring that, we might as well go scream at the moon.

However, I believe that Todd and Jeff will rise again. As Captain Malcolm Reynolds might say, Issues, Etc. was just too pretty to die.

Issues, Etc. update

2008-03-30T10:30:00.004-05:00

Sorry for the dearth of posts this week! I decided to sit back and see what unfolded with the whole Issues, Etc. fiasco, and I've decided to -- for the time being -- remove the "Bring Back Issues, Etc." banner from the right panel. Not because I don't want them back, but I don't think anyone believes that the synod has any intention of bringing back the show, and maybe that's a good thing.

Items of note:

IE fiasco gets attention in the Wall Street Journal: Read the article here by M.Z. Hemingway, a past guest on IE and someone in the know.

David Strand, exec dir for the LCMS Board of Communication Services, issued a more detailed and lengthy statement. (Read here.) He says it was purely a financial decision. The short version of the IE fans' response (including mine): no one's buying it.

The online petition to bring back IE has topped 5,600 signatures as of this posting!!!

A special blog devoted exclusively to IE has been created: Bring Back Issues, Etc.

The Issues, Etc. controversy spreads!!

2008-03-22T11:44:00.006-05:00

A very special look into LCMS' computer systems

2008-03-22T11:35:00.004-05:00

A glimpse into the aftermath of the Issues, Etc. fiasco. (Click on the image above to view it at full size.)

Stink meter goes off the charts on the Issues, Etc. fiasco

2008-03-20T23:30:00.007-05:00

Amazing tidbit on Pastor Randy Asburry's blog:

A standard severance package has been offered to both [Pastor Todd] Wilken and [Jeff] Schwarz, but it comes with the string of a “gag order” attached. (That is, they are being asked to sign a document stating that they will not discuss the conditions of their termination of employment.) The Issues, Etc. team is seeking legal counsel before they accept the conditional severance package.

As we say in the South: DO WHAT?

Apparently, there is much that Todd and Jeff could say that would embarrass the LCMS, which is absolutely no surprise to me or to anyone else closely following this story. It further reinforces the prevailing theory that nuking IE was entirely a political decision.

The smell is getting worse, LCMS. Another round of shinola is not going to help.

Maundy Thursday musings

2008-03-20T17:15:00.003-05:00

"Maundy Thursday" -- what is it?

"Maundy" is a corruption of the Latin word mandatum, or "mandate," and refers to Jesus saying, "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you." (John 13:34)

In the middle of the Issues, Etc. fiasco and impassioned calls to respect the Eighth Commandment (do not bear false witness against your neighbor), I'm reminded how ridiculously hard it is -- no, impossible -- to love my enemies. I'm also reminded that loss of a job -- though traumatic -- is pretty mild compared with what our brothers and sisters elsewhere in the world suffer daily in the name of Christ. (For a few sobering stories, visit here or here.)

The holy law that Jesus iterated on the day before his Passion strikes us all in the face. We fail miserably at it. And that brings us to Holy Friday, the day of the Cross, the day that all the sins of the world were nailed to the tree along with the Lamb of God, along with death and the grave.

On this Holy Thursday, may you rely fully on the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, to fill your heart with love and give you forgiveness of all your sins.

Issues, Etc. unceremoniously canned; UPDATE: LCMS issues "non-statement"; UPDATE: Wil Weedon organizing protest

2008-03-19T14:38:00.008-05:00

[Scroll down for updates. And yes, please use my banners.]

Got the astounding news today that the radio program Issues, Etc. -- a favorite of Rich and mine -- has been suddenly canceled and its host and producer, the Rev. Todd Wilken and Jeff Schwarz, respectively, unceremoniously fired with no explanation.

And this is Holy Week.

Reliable sources say that the cause is neither finances nor scandal -- neither of which would have necessitated the sudden cancellation of the program anyway. Speculation abounds, but the fact that there was no warning coupled with the fact that even the show's Web site was taken down completely smacks of a punishing stance by the Lutheran Church Missouri-Synod, which underwrote the program.

Here's a roundup of blog posts about the topic:

Wil Weedon: http://weedon.blogspot.com/2008/03/holy-tuesday-treachery.html

Randy Asburry: http://rasburrysres.blogspot.com/2008/03/day-of-infamy-call-for-prayer.html

James White: http://www.aomin.org/aoblog/index.php?itemid=2585

Kim Riddlebarger: http://kimriddlebarger.squarespace.com/the-latest-post/2008/3/18/lcms-pulls-the-plug-on-issues-etc.html

J.A.T. Vierkant: http://jatvierkantsnotebook.blogspot.com/2008/03/issues-etc-canceled.html

It just galls me that hacks like Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer are multimillionaires and poor Todd and Jeff are in the ranks of the unemployed today.

UPDATE: Looks like the LCMS has offered up a non-responsive response on the KFUO Web site:

For programmatic and business reasons, the decision was made this week to discontinue the "Issues, Etc." program on KFUO-AM. We look forward to bringing you new programming in this time slot in the near future. Also, we thank "Issues" host Rev. Todd Wilken and producer Mr. Jeff Schwarz for their years of service on behalf of the station. Those interested may still download past "Issues, Etc." programs from the "Issues" archive on this website. Thank you sincerely for your continued support of KFUO's radio ministry.

Try again, LCMS. Not. Good. Enough.

UPDATE: Pastor Wil Weedon, a frequent IE guest and -- I believe -- Jeff Schwarz's own pastor, is wanting to organize a formal public protest in St. Louis. Here's his blog post about it.

I'll be there in spirit, pastor.

William F. Buckley, Jr., RIP

2008-02-27T16:25:00.001-06:00

Rich has a roundup of links.

Haute Charmin

2008-02-25T19:42:00.002-06:00

I just gotta say ...

Obama looks like one of those unlucky souls who has to create a "wedding dress" out of toilet paper at a bachelorette party.

And I'm trying to be funny, not ethnically insensitive, so don't any of you go all PC-ballistic on me.

Great week for space fans

2008-02-22T13:41:00.005-06:00

Wednesday: The Space Shuttle Atlantis makes a safe trip home.

Also Wednesday: A lunar eclipse graces us here in our tiny hamlet as well as across the world.

Thursday: Star Wars!!! The U.S. Navy shows that math and physics can come together to protect the world from dead spy satellites everywhere.

By the way, if you want to take a long, loving look at the Ringed One, now is your time. Space.com says that now is the best time to see Saturn shining in sunlight with its rings at the correct angle to be seen clearly.

NASA's photo, not mine, unfortunately.

In fact, I was stunned when I looked carefully at the photo I took Wednesday night of the eclipse. (Be my guest and save it to your hard drive if you wish.) If you enlarge the photo to where the moon seems about as large as a fingertip on your monitor, you can clearly see that Saturn is no star -- it is spherical and large, and the fuzzy halo circling it almost vertically are the ice rings.

(Not to say that stars aren't spheres, too, but at this distance they tend to look more like dots or points of light. The planets have a more visble disk shape -- one way you can spot them in the sky with the naked eye.)

I couldn't believe I could get even that level of detail from a regular ol' digital camera. I salivate to think what I could do with this. Hubby just had the great idea of viewing Saturn through the digital video camera we have, the signal of which can be output to my portable DVD player for a more comfortable viewing angle. Must try!

Live long and prosper, y'all. :)

Moon shot

2008-02-20T22:18:00.009-06:00

Hubby and I spent a fair while this evening on the back patio enjoying fine tobacco, crisp ale, luscious Jamaican rum, and a rare treat in the skies.

Got some photos of the big event. Not bad for an amateur astrophotographer! (Click directly on the photo below to open the full-size version.)

By the way, the "star" to the lower left is Saturn; the one directly above is Regulus.

Que sorpresa!

2008-02-19T12:35:00.003-06:00

(AP) Fidel Castro resigns as Cuba's president

I figured this guy would hang onto power for at least two weeks past his death. Theory: Others have taken charge and he's too weak to fight back?

OTOH, he hasn't been seen in public since 2006. Muerto?

Smoking to the glory of God

2008-02-18T01:19:00.009-06:00

That last post got me cranky. Then I found this from The Sacred Sandwich.

I checked. It's true. The great Calvinist C. H. Spurgeon was a cigar aficionado. Here's what he said in 1874:

"Well, dear friends, you know that some men can do to the glory of God what to other men would be sin. And notwithstanding what brother Pentecost has said, I intend to smoke a good cigar to the glory of God before I go to bed to-night.

"If anybody can show me in the Bible the command, 'Thou shalt not smoke,' I am ready to keep it; but I haven't found it yet. I find ten commandments, and it's as much as I can do to keep them; and I've no desire to make them into eleven or twelve.

And yes, people still wig over this. And over the fact that Martin Luther drank beer.

God bless 'em, and thank God for the Reformation.

Read today's devotional from Spurgeon's classic work Morning and Evening here.

ADDENDUM: As dear hubby pointed out, it's not like Christendom had a problem with beer and cigars before the Reformation. Still, Spurgeon was a Baptist, and that just is too much for some people to bear.

Annoyance

2008-02-17T23:52:00.008-06:00

Hi, bunkies! The GGB is tucked away in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, with her sweetie. Hubby and I have had a marvelous time, and a full report is forthcoming later this week.

Rich and I sampled some fine cigars this weekend, and I've been 'Net-searching tonight for recommended cigar-friendly hangouts. Let me just say, I am getting so tired of non-Alabamian reviewers being so friggin' surprised that anything quality exists in Birmingham, like this brilliant beginning of a review of the Blue Monkey Lounge from WineSpectator.com by one Jason Sheftell:

There's an old joke that goes something like, "What's the best thing coming out of Alabama?" The punchline, "Highway 20/59."
While Alabamians enjoy a good laugh, they know their state has heaps more to offer than rednecks and ugly documentary footage. The GulfCoast [sic], the Robert T. Jones Golf Trail, the Alabama-Auburn rivalry, barbecue and Southern hospitality are the least of it--especially for the hedonistic cigar aficionado.

Yeah ... we all think that joke is just HI-larious. By the way, nice of you to admit we aren't ALL mouth-breathers.

If remnants of segregation still linger in certain parts of the South, the Blue Monkey isn't one of them. A diverse crowd lounged around as if they had nowhere to go and nothing to do but sit and be lively, sip their drinks, relax, and revel in a nice smoke and cordial conversation with a passerby or an old friend.

I just love it. He might as well say: "Even though some Southerners still think George Wallace was just a super cool dude, the Blue Monkey is decidedly not one of those places where you'll accidentally walk in on a Klan meeting."

I am so relieved that Wine Spectator has declared one of the 'Ham's most popular bars a Bubba-free Zone (TM), aren't you?

Can't help wondering if this is by the same Jason Sheftell. If so, he seems to have a preoccupation with ethnic stereotypes:

Orthodox Jews race around in black hats carrying heavy books and bags of bialys. Chinese people worship in Buddhist temples next to electronics shops and restaurant supply stores.

Happy heart day!!

2008-02-14T11:50:00.008-06:00

First off, love and smooches to my dear husband, Rich. This is our third Valentine's Day to celebrate together -- I still have the red Mardi Gras-type beads from our first one. :)

Some time ago, Rich and I were discussing the deciding factor in the last few decades' worth of presidential elections, and we decided it was not policy or ideals. Nope, for the majority of the electorate, it's simply who you'd rather have a beer with. Or, more crudely, who you'd pick on a deserted island for the perpetuation of the species.

And this truth does not bode well for either Hillary Clinton or John McCain.

I mean, Obama is as much a raging Marxist as Hillary is and I can't vote for him, but he's the only one of the three I can stand to look at or listen to for any length of time. I'd have a beer with him.

Other people are thinking along these same lines, including the inimitable Mark Steyn. An appetizer for you:

2004 -- Bush v. Kerry -- Bush easily would be the one to send a Valentine to. That stiff, arrogant, gold-digging twit Kerry is not good relationship material. Say what you will about Bush, he is loyal, friendly and approachable. Unfortunately, time would prove there wasn't a real "love connection" between Bush and the Conservative base.

Read the rest here. (Hat tip to IMAO.)

Make your own candy hearts here.

Hillary for president

2008-02-11T02:23:00.001-06:00

Hey ... Ann Coulter said she'd campaign for Hillary if John McCain got the GOP nomination, which he all but has.

Can't be that bad, can it? Let's give it a try:

You want money for WHAT???

2008-02-06T14:39:00.001-06:00

In all fairness, Hillary Clinton is not the only pol who enjoys playing fast and loose with other people's cash.

You know those protests going on in Berkeley, Calif.? You know those federal earmarks for Berkeley that Sen. Jim DeMint wants to get rid of? Wondered what they were for? Here ya go: (emphasis mine)

Over $2 million was secretly tucked away for Berkeley earmarks in the 2008 Omnibus Appropriations bill, projects that were never voted on or debated... Included in the $2 million worth of pork are some particularly wasteful projects. One earmark provides gourmet organic lunches to schools in the Berkeley School District. While our Marines are making due with MREs of Sloppy Joe and Chili with Beans, the organization Chez Panisse is getting federal tax dollars to design meals that promote "environmental harmony." Chez Panisse's menu features Comté cheese soufflé with mâche salad," "Meyer lemon éclairs with huckleberry coulis" and "Chicory salad with creamy anchovy vinaigrette and olive toast."

I'm now re-imagining the fictional conversation from my previous post:

"Give me $2 million."

"What?"

"For my kid's Meyer lemon eclairs and chicory salad."

Hey, Berkeley: Go feed your kids Meyer lemon eclairs and chicory salad on your own friggin' dime.

'Scuse me while I go have some ramen.

(Hat tip: Michelle Malkin)

UPDATE: I just love how the SF Chronicle characterizes the federal earmarks in question: "Washington money bound for Berkeley schools, food programs and ferries." If you didn't know any better, wouldn't you imagine pencils and peanut butter sandwiches? Yeah, I would, too.

The tyranny of Hillary-style "sharing"

2008-02-06T00:34:00.001-06:00

Hillary Clinton says she wants to give every newborn in America a $5,000 bond. Sounds good in principle, but I ask you, dear reader, to imagine the following exchange between you and Random Person on the Street:

"Give me $5,000."

"Well, I don't have $5,000."

"Then give me $50. And the names of 99 of your friends."

"What for? Why should I be giving you money?"

"It's for my baby."

"Is something wrong with your baby?"

"No, I just want money for my kid's future."

"Well, that's nice, but don't you have a job? Any friends or family who could help you out?"

"Yes, but that's not the point. I want you to cough up $50."

"Why?"

"Because it's the right thing to do! It's sharing the wealth. You ought to share. Didn't they teach you that in kindergarten? Besides, I see that you have a house and a car and two dogs. Surely you could give up $50."

"I'm not going to give you $50. Sorry."

"Then I'll take it out of your next paycheck."

"That's stealing!"

"No, it isn't. You make more money than I do."

"So?"

"So?! So?! Lady, don't you realize that there's only so much money to go around? C'mon, you won't miss it."

"That's not true, and it doesn't matter if I'll 'miss it,' it belongs to me and you can't just demand that I give it to you."

"But I need it for my kid's future. Don't you want my kids to have a good future?"

"Of course I do."

"Then give me money."

"No."

"Heartless bitch."

"Do you have ANY money of your own to save up?"

"No."

"Nothing? Nothing you couldn't give up?"

"No."

"How about your cable subscription?"

"That's none of your business!"

"Damn straight it's my business, you want my money!"

"Heartless bitch.'"

"You voted for Hillary, didn't you."

More from Mama Hill

2008-02-05T23:12:00.000-06:00

From a Hillary-bylined article in The Wall Street Journal titled "My Plan for Shared Prosperity," with comments as if yours truly, the GGB, were running for prez.

Throughout my campaign, I have been listening to the voices of people across America. I met one man who told me, "I don't know what I did wrong. I got my education and I worked hard. I've been at the same company for 12 years now, but I've just been asked to train my successor because my job is moving to another
country."

Sweetheart, it sucks, but that's life. Sometimes you do everything right and get a bad result. I'm trying to get government out of the way so that it's more attractive to do business here in the U.S. than elsewhere, but in the meanwhile, you ain't the first guy to lose his job. Wipe your nose and try again.

Another woman said to me, "I just can't make ends meet. My health care premiums have doubled, college tuition is up. How am I supposed to make it as a single mom?"

Since I don't know why your kid's daddy ain't around, I won't ding you on that one. But sugar, you gotta make a choice. You obviously cannot afford health insurance + college + kid, so something has to go. I'd suggest it not be the kid. Sock some money away and go to college later. All I can do is try to keep government from making your life more expensive than it has to be, but I cannot make it cheaper for you. Sorry.

I am running for president to bring those voices to the White House and give people a chance to achieve the American Dream: having a good job, owning their own home and living with financial security. That means tackling our toughest challenges -- rising inequality, stagnating wages and a growing sense that too many middle class families are just one pink slip away from financial devastation.

And I would be running for president to defend the Constitution, which -- as best I recall -- is the president's job description.

More comments on the Hill's New Deal later. Read the whole thing here.

Ding ding ding ding ding!

2008-02-05T15:02:00.001-06:00

Bryan at Hot Air neatly captures my main complaint with The Hill. First, Hillary's comments on Letterman last night:

CLINTON: You want to feel like the person you’re voting for actually cares about you. You know, actually wants to help you, you know. You know, they might actually get up in the morning and think, “Gosh, you know, what am I gonna do to get somebody a job or health care for somebody. And that’s the kind of heartfelt
connection that I see in people as I go around.”

Now Bryan: (emphasis mine)

I don’t want any of that. I don’t give a rip if the POTUS “cares for me.” That’s what my family, friends and church is for. I certainly don’t want a president who thinks part of his or her job is getting me a job. I’ll do that myself, thankyouverymuch. I just want the government to get in the way of the bad guys and out of the way of everybody else.

Hillary Clinton is cloaking her vision in touchy-feely language, but she basically wants to run your life.

What he said.

Happy Mardi Super Gras Tuesday!

2008-02-05T13:10:00.000-06:00

Big day today!

Happy Mardi Gras! It's a low-key Fat Tuesday for hubby and me. I've got a dance class tonight, but I'm listening to XM Radio's live channel (they're broadcasting New Orleans jazz and Zydeco all day) and bought a king cake at the supermarket last night. It won't be as good as this, but it looks darn pretty on the counter anyway.

Super Tuesday Musings: In '06, I barbecued John McCain on immigration and had this to say about a potential McCain-Hillary matchup:

McCain versus Hillary. It's like having to choose between having hot coals shoved into your eye sockets and a hydrochloric acid enema.

The GOP is offering me hot coals in eye sockets as an alternative to a Marxist. Hillary Clinton cannot open her yap without threatening to confiscate people's money in the name of yet another bloated, inefficient, dunderheaded government sop. She honestly believes that the government can do the best job of taking care of your kids. I'm looking at her Web site now, and she's promising "nurse home visitation programs to help new parents develop parenting skills."

Ah, no, Hillary. I don't care if this is mandated or optional, it is not the federal gubmint's job to make sure I am diapering properly. And the spectre of something like universal pre-K makes me nervous. Hubby and I are anticipating starting our family within the next presidential administration. Hillary's nanny statism does not leave me with a cozy and warm feeling about how her policies might affect my children.

And then, we have McCain. Stronger on defense than Hillary ... sort of. He was a driving force in shamnesty and wants to give Gitmo prisoners the same status as regular prison inmates. Hard to raise kids properly when you have to worry about all that contamination from the dirty bomb some goblin smuggled across the border.

So, I'm left with a lovely choice: I refuse to actually cast a vote for Hillary, so if enough conservatives like me sit this one out in November, Hillary will be our next president, and God only knows what boneheaded policies she will be able to put into place with the aid of a Democratically-controlled Congress, not to mention who might wind up on the Supreme Court. If she tanks at Carter-esque levels, there might be enough backlash to prompt another GOP revolution and make things saner for decades to come, as Rush Limbaugh has speculated.

If John McCain wins against Hillary, we have averted a few disasters in exchange for different ones, plus we are sending a message to the GOP that, yes, they can keep sending up godawful candidates as long as the Dem offerings are just one or two notches worse. We tried sending a message in '06, and that didn't go over too well. I'm not sure that sending a message in '08 will work, either.

Bottom line is, you cannot trust either party to do what is right by principle. They are only interested in perpetuating their own power. Real people-power will come from what we did with shamnesty: screaming our heads off when necessary to beat them back into submission.

That does get awfully tiring, but on the other hand, who said that living in a free land would ever be easy or convenient? We had to shed blood for what we have today. Whether it's President McCain or President Clinton in '08, either way, I'm not shutting up.

Contemplating the big "M"

2008-02-05T00:15:00.000-06:00

Motherhood.

The GGB is not -- I repeat -- not pregnant ... yet.

Hubbykins and I will probably start trying later this year, and I'm on prenatal vitamins to get my folic acid stores high and my iron levels perky. I turned 38 several days ago, and by cracky, I'd like to have kid #1 before I'm too far into my 40s.

My "mommy radar" is starting to come online. I'm mentally designing the nursery. I'm browsing Web sites of baby names. I'm smiling secretly at funny stuff like this. And this is just cool.

But I'm also terrified.

I'm terrified of becoming one of those mothers: the "super moms" who are just so damn fascinated with spawning and their spawn that they make everyone else nauseated. The narcississtic ones who romanticize their "precious angels" ... right into anger and rebellion.

Orthodox Christian writer Frederica Matthewes-Green said it a whole lot better than I can:

There must have been something wrong with the Fifties: they led to the Sixties. The kids that grew up in those tidy two-parent homes weren’t out of their teens before they began doing all they could to overthrow that wholesome security...

Though there are many factors, one short response might be: children received *too* much pampering attention. This sounds impossible in an age when millions of children are aborted, abandoned, and institutionalized in faceless day care. But there are two different traditional approaches to childrearing, and they have widely differing results.

In the Fifties an attitude toward childhood bloomed which had first sprouted in the Victorian era. In this view, childhood is seen as a carefully delineated, circumscribed experience; it’s almost a physical place, a playroom stocked with toys, where precious children linger all a long golden afternoon. Adults look on with wistful, vicarious pleasure, fawning over the tots and shielding them from the harsh winds of the cruel adult world. Adults place a high value on preserving children’s "innocence."

Sounds like the numerous unflattering definitions of "soccer mom" at Urban Dictionary.com.

Okay, so how does white, Christian, middle-class, suburban me avoid the "soccer mom" mentality? I like what Matthewes-Green had to say about Proverbs 31:

... responsibility mothering includes setting an example of full-fledged adult womanhood... While time spent cuddling and playing on the child’s level is an indispensable source of fun and security in a child’s life, a mother must also prepare her children for adulthood, not life-long childhood... [She] sets her kids an example of the "virtuous woman" of Proverbs 31, busy with home management, hobbies, and church ministries; she may even find it feasible to keep her hand in a career while caring for small children, by working from home or keeping on top of continuing education opportunities.

Preach on, sistah. And thank you for putting your finger on something that's been bugging me a LONG time.

Like I said: 25 percent

2008-02-04T19:56:00.000-06:00

Not. Making. This. Up.

Fox News: Report: 1 in 4 Britons Think Winston Churchill Never Existed

This dovetails nicely with GGB Rule #1, which is that fully 25 percent of the population is functionally retarded. Goes a long way toward explaining a lot.

Something to think about

2008-01-28T14:57:00.000-06:00

Three headlines:

Space.com:
New Russian Communications Satellite Reaches Orbit

Fox News: Report:
Russia Completes Shipment of Uranium to Iran

Brunei
Times: Russia 20% Muslim by 2020

If you think I am religion-bating or engaging in scare tactics, you are really, really not paying attention.

Aw, heck yeah!!!!

2008-01-28T03:04:00.000-06:00

Space.com: Virgin Galactic Unveils Suborbital Spaceliner Design

It is difficult to express how FRIGGIN' ECSTATIC this makes me!!!

I want to send Burt Rutan a fruit basket.

UPDATE: Hubby tells me that William Shatner has bought one of the first tickets for SpaceShipTwo. :-)

It is a shame that some of the other original Trek cast members did not live long enough to see this day, not to mention Mr. Gene Roddenberry himself. :-/ I think ol' Gene would have been ecstatic, too.

A little spooky

2008-01-28T02:52:00.000-06:00

Two headlines, same day:

Mormon Church President Gordon B. Hinckley Dead at 97

Leader of Greek Orthodox Church Dead at 69

If Pope Benedict or Archbishop Rowan Williams kicks today, I am going to go hide in the closet.

Epic oops

2008-01-27T04:28:00.000-06:00

Employee suspects she's about to be fired. Employee erases her company's data. Employee arrested. Read the rest.

(Hat tip: Kim Riddlebarger)

Sunny for president

2008-01-25T12:35:00.000-06:00

Now that Fred! is out of the race, here is our best alternative:

Sunny Lucas for President

Anyone who uses Johnny Cash in a campaign ad has to be a worthy contender.

Early birthday report

2008-01-25T12:20:00.000-06:00

The GGB celebrates her penultimate 30-something birthday today. :) I opened the first two of several gifts from my husband late last night: a huuuuuge bottle of Escada's Moon Sparkle fragrance (yum) and a Bialetti stainless steel coffee pot.

The latter is the next generation of percolator-type coffee pots and includes an unitentionally funny instruction sheet written in an Italian-to-English version of Engrish:

Fill with cold water the little tank without exceeding the hole of the safety valve.

Let me tell you -- this is the little tank that can. A very rich coffee that is good, good, good.

Got a phone call around 9-ish from my parents-in-law. Still waiting for a call from my own parents. They probably don't think I'm awake yet. 0:-p

UPDATE: Mom called at 10:15. :-) I teased her about my in-laws beating her to the punch.

UPDATE II: Rich has named the coffeepot "Perky." (Most gadgets in our home have their own names.)

UPDATE III: Ahhhh! Perky makes six espresso-sized servings of really strong coffee, which I downed in one sitting this morning! Wow. Boing! Zappo!!!

Gadget names

2008-01-25T11:54:00.000-06:00

As I mentioned in the post above, Rich and I name virtually every gadget and major appliance in our house. I'll share a few with you:

"Cherry Blossom" -- A pink Pioneer Inno XM Radio receiver.

"Theora" -- My new Pantech Duo. (And, yeah, I like it way more than CNET did.) The phone talks to me in a synthesized female voice, which reminded me of the cool talking home computer system in Theora's apartment in the old Max Headroom TV series.

"Serenity" -- My Dell laptop. No explanation necessary. :)

Sigh

2008-01-23T18:13:00.001-06:00

Had a migraine earlier today.

Discovered that an e-mail address I use for business purposes got pwned by some cretins in China selling Viagra knockoffs. (Good thing for them I don't speak Mandarin. Or Cantonese. Or whatever.)

Fred's out of the race.

It's brrrrrr outside.

But I'm listening to Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash. I think I can make it another day. :)

Potato Jesus

2008-01-22T16:39:00.000-06:00

Fox News: Florida Pastor Finds Jesus Image in Split Potato

Is this woman for real? She was having an existential crisis about whether she should make potato salad?

"I was hesitant about making the potato salad because Sister Frankie makes the potato salad at church and I said, 'Lord, if it’s not for me to make potato salad then send me a sign.'"

::: smacking forehead :::

Apparently, she interpreted the "sign" as an indication that she should, actually, make the potato salad, which she did.

“It was good. It was the best you [sic] ever made ... it was almost as good as Sister Frankie's,” said Bishop Brewster.

Sister Frankie was unavailable for comment.

Heath Ledger, RIP

2008-01-22T16:35:00.000-06:00

To be honest, I was not familiar with his work and knew him by name only. Sounds like this might have been an accident, but regardless, it's definitely tragic.

Prayers for his young daughter and everyone else who cared for him.

Fun with Wii news, part 2: Astonishing quote of the day

2008-01-22T12:21:00.000-06:00

NOTE TO THE READER 1/25/08: A few days after first posting this entry, I considered editing it or taking it down altogether. I still stand by my contentions that Mr. Goddard is being illogical and sanctimonious and his comments merit criticism, but I feel I was graceless in my approach and choice of language. The original post still stands for you, gentle reader, to judge for yourself.

Ya know, I've never been shot.

Which is a good thing.

I suppose being shot changes your life and your outlook on things. Which is why I'm trying not to be too judgmental.

Screw that. I am going to be judgmental because this quote I'm about to share with you is one of the most astonishingly stupid things I've ever read. This is Colin Goddard, who was responding to a gun-rights advocate who told him that he would have stopped the Virginia Tech shooter because he carries. Again, a photo of the Wii:

Well, Colin, I feel sorry for you for being a shooting victim. That sucks. I am glad you are alive.

It also sucks that you apparently expect police and armed civilians like me to defend your sorry butt because it's just TOO MUCH for your enlightened soul to take responsibility for your own safety. And when someone comes along basically offering you protection, you sniff and act like you're superior.

And THAT is what it comes down to, folks. You don't like guns? Don't want them in your house or on your person? FINE. But realize that if a cracked-out rapist is knocking down your door at 3 a.m., you are essentially expecting OTHER PEOPLE to risk their lives while you go hide in the closet.

It's a job that all law enforcement and many civilians are willing to do, but when you act like people who want to protect themselves AND YOU TOO need to be pitied, that we have some sort of mental problem, well, forgive us if we feel inclined to mock your silly ass in a public forum.

Goddard went on to say:

"You're afraid of crazy situations happening."

Damn straight, but I am less afraid knowing that I have the potential to stop a psychotic goblin from killing me and those around me.

"I've lived through this and I know that I can't continue in my life afraid of things."

Congratulations. But "lack of fear" is no protection against hot metal speeding toward you at hundreds of meters per second.

He then went on to add that he puts his "full trust" in police to protect society. Yes, we see how amazingly effective that was against Mr. Cho and his little ballistic friends.

Note to self: Do not send any future offspring to Virginia Tech.

Fun with Wii news, part 1: A Tale of Two Prisons

2008-01-22T12:06:00.000-06:00

I once worked for a woman who was mean as a snake. An ungodly terror, but she'd worked 17 years for a newspaper and taught me more about proper writing than anyone else, save my college profs. She told us that in her day, your third misspelling would get you fired.

This sort of makes me long for those days:

(FYI, that's a cell phone photo of the Wii news feature displayed on the living room TV.)

"En route two prisons." I mean, I can understand making a silly mistake and typing "two" instead of "to," but pluralizing "prison"? What is this, leet-speak?

Im in ur cort, rulin aginst ur muzlims

Scarlett Johansson's PSA

2008-01-21T14:46:00.000-06:00

Michelle Malkin today reported that actress Scarlett Johansson visited our troops in Kuwait, and good on her for that. Malkin noted that Johansson is gracing the troops with her presence despite being a sharp critic of GWB (big surprise -- I know) and his anti-abortion stance.

Which led me to finding this interesting tidbit about Ms. Johansson: She gets tested twice a year for HIV. She says frequent testing is "part of being a decent human being." And, if you happen to be either freebasing or randier than a frat boy on Bourbon Street, I would agree with you.

But au contraire:

"Contrary to popular belief, I'm not promiscuous. There does seem to be a mistaken belief out there that I am sexually available somehow — which is not to say that I'm not open-minded about sex."

Makes perfect sense, ScarJo. Obviously, non-promiscuous, non-sexually-available people are in dire need of frequent HIV tests. After all, toilet-seat transmission is still a very real and scary possibility.

Thanks for clearing that up.

Unspeakably tragic

2008-01-20T16:29:00.000-06:00

Two-year-old Bronner Burgess, son of Rick Burgess of "Rick and Bubba" fame, died last night from drowning in the family swimming pool. Investigators have ruled it a tragic accident.

The city of Birmingham is reeling. Yesterday was such a day of wonder for our city's small children, many of whom had never seen snow before. Now, there's a sad shadow on that happy memory.

God's grace be upon the Burgess family and everyone else who loved little Bronner.

White Saturday

2008-01-19T12:14:00.000-06:00

Central Alabama is getting its first significant snowfall since 2000, and hubby and I are enjoying a quiet and relaxed day of the white stuff. Behold. To the left are our cars, Betsy and Gladys. Interestingly, the snow on the Bug's hood has slipped to the ground, but Gladys' hood rendered a bounty of clean snow for making snow cream. I used Michelle Malkin's recipe but substituted evaporated milk for the regular milk. Even better!

I am now threatening to break out the cocoa, evap milk, cinnamon and cayenne for some righteous Mexican-style hot chocolate, and hubby is very happy about this.

UPDATE: The hot chocolate is a hit! Here's the recipe:

In a coffee mug, combine
- 1 T plus 1/4 tsp. sugar
- 3 tsp. cocoa powder
- pinch of salt

Meanwhile, microwave 1 cup of evaporated milk on high for 1 minute or until hot but not scalding. Pour the heated milk into the mug, stirring briskly to combine the dry ingredients with the milk.

Add freshly ground cinnamon, fresly ground nutmeg and cayenne pepper powder to taste. Finish with a dash of vanilla extract.

Que delicioso!

The GGB 10-second roundup of last night's GOP forum

2008-01-07T08:42:00.001-06:00

Fred -- rules.
Mitt -- plastic.
Giuliani -- sharp.
McCain -- irritating.
Huckabee -- nauseating.
Ron Paul supporters holding up signs outside the focus group -- trolls.

Just one thought on the Iowa Caucus

2008-01-03T22:28:00.000-06:00

Tonight -- just for tonight -- I like Barack Obama. Because he kicked Hillary's butt. And he made a helluva speech. And I can't stand Huckabee.

Pwned!

Methinks the lady doth protest too much

2008-01-03T14:47:00.000-06:00

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the latest inductee into the 15 Minutes Hall of Fame: Jane Doe of the "Rock My World" commercial fame. Here's the story on Fox News, and here's the video of the jewelry ad that Jane Doe claims made her look pornographic without her consent. (She's suing for $5 mil, saying it has tarnished her "wholesome" image.) Please note, the video is somewhat NSFW.

Hmmm, let's see ....

Lacy nightie? Check.
Red satin sheets? Check.
Writhing? Check.
Stroking the face? Check.
Heavy breathing? Check.

As an astute commenter on YouTube said, "I can see why she's upset. The director just asked her to act like she's playing tennis."

No wonder he kept it a secret so long

2007-11-20T17:45:00.001-06:00

Singer Neil Diamond has just revealed the inspiration for his hit "Sweet Caroline" -- none other than Caroline Kennedy, daughter of the late JFK. "It was a picture of a little girl dressed to the nines in her riding gear, next to her pony," Diamond recalled. "It was such an innocent, wonderful picture, I immediately felt there was a song in there."

That would be ... uh ... sweet, but let's review the evidence:

Neil Diamond is 66.
Caroline Kennedy is 50.
The song was written 40 years ago, which means Diamond would have been 26 and Kennedy 10.
The song contains lyrics such as:

Hands, touchin hands
Reachin out
Touchin me
Touchin you

And ...

But now I
Look at the night
And it dont seem so lonely
We fill it up with only two
And when I hurt
Hurtin runs off my shoulders
How can I hurt when Im with you

Does anyone else besides me find this a little creepy??? Now I'm not going to be able to hear that song without thinking of ... never mind.

I guess I should blog again

2007-11-15T11:32:00.000-06:00

Hey, folks. GGB here. A friend of mine with a three-year-old and a newborn is showing me out by blogging almost daily, so I figured it was high time to get my hiney in gear and talk to the world.

Hi, world.

Yesterday, hubby and I passed the 200-day mark of our wedded bliss. I keep waiting for that dreaded "tough first year" to materialize, but so far it hasn't. The toughest things about 2007 have come from outside, not from within. No, if anything, 200 days have proven that I chose beautifully. "Peas and carrots" comes to mind.

Otherwise, it's been hard to know what to blog about. It's been nice not having a day job to complain about, and days at home have been mostly productive and absolutely peaceful. Coming up on an election year, you'd think I'd be back in political-junkie mode, but lately the news only gets me angry. Suffice it to say, Hillary Clinton is a Marxist and I will vote for her opponent, whoever that may be. In fact, I'm kinda tickled that Pat Robertson -- kooky as he is -- decided to endorse Giuliani, especially after James Dobson's whining that none of the front runners is Jesus-y enough.

Speaking of Jesus ...

Michael Horton is my hero. (After Jesus.) I finally got my hands on a copy of a fantastic volume he edited, titled Christ the Lord: The Reformation and Lordship Salvation. For those of you who did not grow up Southern Baptist, this will be meaningless, but this book has finally settled the anxieties of this former SBC'er who grew up constantly hearing: "Are you really, really, really, really, REALLY saved?" (For those of you who did grow up So. Baptist, I hope you are giggling now. And go buy the book.)

Okay, our older dog is giving me that look. Time to feed the mutts. Arividerci!

Dumb government idea of the day

2007-09-10T07:36:00.000-05:00

FDA considers additional food labels

Memo to the FDA: Believe it or not, it is not your responsibility to make sure we eat our greens and don't pig out on Doritos. And cigarette packs are labeled to hell and gone and that doesn't discourage most people from smoking, now does it?

Dragon*Con recap

2007-09-04T10:46:00.000-05:00

Hubby and I got home LATE last night from Atlanta. His brother and sis-in-law gave us weekend passes to Dragon*Con and two nights' lodging as a wedding gift, and a good time was had by all. A few highlights:

Rich went over on Wednesday night to attend a two-day writing seminar hosted by author Ann Crispin and gave it rave reviews.
Sunday night, we saw a panel discussion on "Beer Snobs in Space" on the schedule and decided to attend. (Rich is a homebrew and winemaking enthusiast.) The featured speaker had to cancel at the last minute, but a group of homebrewers filled in -- and they brought samples. :) Props to the chemistry professor who brought his "Imperial Death Star Stout" and the dude in black who treated us to real honeymead. So cool. Man, I love geeks.
I got to meet two male idols from my childhood -- Erik Estrada of CHiPS fame and Gil Gerard, better known as Buck Rogers. Gil was friendly and wisecracking; Erik looked unbelievably handsome, even 30 years past his CHiPS days. When I told him my mom loved him, he asked her name and said, "Be sure to tell her I said hi." I called her later and told her I had a special message from Erik Estrada. Tickled her to death.
I also got to meet three Star Trek: TNG cast members: John DeLancie ("Q") and Jonathan Frakes ("Commander Riker") were polite but seemed like they really needed a nap. (Granted, this was yesterday on the last day of the con.) But Brent Spiner ("Data") made my day. Super nice, joked with me and looked terrific.

Special note: I'm sad that our buddies Tom and Minde couldn't make the con, but they had good reason: Their daughter was born Friday. :) Welcome to Geek World, little girl.

ISO: Halloween recipes that don't induce vomiting

2007-08-31T14:04:00.000-05:00

I love Halloween. I hate Googling for Halloween recipes.

To everyone out there who posts Halloween recipes: Please put your vomit-inducing recipes on a separate page AWAY from the recipes for roasted pumpkin seed and caramel apples. I am getting so tired of searching for innocent recipes and instead stumbling upon these appetizing selections:

*** Please do not read if you've recently had a meal or plan to within the next hour. ***

"Bloody Popcorn"
"Kitty Litter Cake"
"Brains and Eyeballs"
And perhaps the all-time worst: "Hair Salad with Saliva Dressing"

I am not 11. I do not think that gross is cool. I do not want to consume food that may taste fabulous but looks like roadkill, bodily waste or a serious industrial accident. I do not want scary bits floating in my beverage. I do not want to consume things that remind me of sinusitis.

I was at a Halloween party years ago at the home of this artsy-tartsy couple of university professors. The house was way out in the hinterland, which just gave you this heightened sense of foreboding. (Oh, so this is where they hide the bodies?) The decorations were fabulous in a house that already had this quirky Dali-esque spookiness about it. (The kitchen was decorated RED and BLACK.) The appetizers were delicious and the beverages were flowing.

I was having a grand old time swanning about in my Bollywood princess outfit when some knucklehead guest brings out the kitty litter cake. In a real kitty litter box with a scoop.

Although my rational forebrain knew I was looking at rolled oats dotted with some kind of fig paste, my reptilian brain was screaming, "DO NOT EAT POOP! DANGER! DANGER! DO NOT EAT POOP! POOP BAD! POOP BAD!"

I could feel the bile rising in the back of my throat. I wanted to punch the guy.

So, all you recipe posters: No gross stuff where I can easily find it. Thank you.

Alton Brown on the real reason we cook

2007-08-29T18:49:00.000-05:00

Our Patron Saint of Perpetual Good Eats

The GGB recently gave up her 40-hour-a-week Corporate America job for a kinder gig as Household COO (and occasional dance teacher and freelancer). When my former coworkers asked me if I was looking forward to a change of pace, I often told them I was excited about cooking dinner and having it ready when my husband gets home.

A few people looked at me as if I'd said I was going to be manacled to a stove and given daily beatings for my trouble.

It is not fashionable these days to be enthusiastic about the home arts. And if you do cook, you're supposed to do it as quickly as possible a la Rachael Ray. (That's another post entirely. The woman is a blight on humanity.)

However, I picked up on a bit of cosmic brilliance by the anti-Rachael, the sensei of culinary kung fu, the high priest of all that is sacred and holy about the range top and the saute pan. I give you words of wisdom from Alton Brown:

... feeding someone is an act of caring. We will always be fed best by those that care, be it ourselves or the aforementioned friends and family.We are fat and sick and dying because we have handed a basic, fundamental and intimate function of life over to corporations. We choose to value our nourishment so little that we entrust it to strangers. We hand our lives over to big companies and then drag them to court when the deal goes bad. This is insanity.

Amen, brother.

How come no one ever "finds" Buddha?

2007-08-28T09:39:00.000-05:00

Puppy murderer Michael Vick says he has "found Jesus" and now claims that dogfighting is a "terrible thing."

Ever notice how no one ever "finds Buddha" or "achieves nirvana" in the pokey? (And Vick isn't even in jail yet. This must be a record.) I'm just saying that since Eastern-style religion is all the rage these days, I'm curious as to why it's the Jesus card that gets played.

Ministers behaving badly. Congregants behaving stupidly.

2007-08-27T22:53:00.000-05:00

"The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer [bishop], he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money."

-- St. Paul, I Timothy 3:1-3

Evangelist Juanita Bynum recently got the stuffing knocked out of her in a hotel parking lot by her husband, "Bishop" Thomas Weeks III. A hotel bellman witnessed the attack, as relayed here in an article by Fox News:

"They were talking about a reconciliation. They got into an argument. In the process of the argument, her husband walked out to the parking lot area, turned back around and started to choke Miss Bynum," [Atlanta police officer Ronald ] Campbell said.

"As he choked her, he pushed her down to the ground and started to kick her and also stomp on her," he said. "There was a bellman at the location who witnessed the whole assault, intervened, and pulled Mr. Weeks off of Miss Bynum."

"Bishop" Weeks has yet to repent and instead took a few brief moments in the pulpit this past Sunday (before a guest preacher delivered the sermon) to blame the devil for his troubles, according to the Atlanta Journal Constitution. His congregants are being all mashy-mouthed about "not judging." One particularly pathetic comment to the AJC site [emphases mine]:

I am a member of Global Destiny. I was there yesterday and I support Bishop 100%. He is a true man of God who made a mistake. I get paid on this week and will sow my entire pay check to the ministry. I know these are trying times for him financially. My 8 year daughter does not mind forfeiting "back to school shopping" b/c Bishop weeks is in need. Praying is not enough. We need ot take action. I signed the thing on yesterday to have the Judge decrease the felony to a misdemeanor. I am praying that his case is dismissed due ot self defense or he gets Community Service. Everyone does stuff they regret. I know he is pure, he did not mean to hurt her-he got caught up in the heat of the moment. I pray that he will Preach on this coming Sunday.

Good Lord Almighty, this is so cosmically insane, I don't even know where to begin. Weeks is in flagrant violation of at least four Biblical requirements to be a bishop, and not only is he not being held accountable, people are flinging MONEY at him!!! ENTIRE PAYCHECKS!!!

"Judge not," my arse. I cannot judge Weeks' heart or motivations, but I sure as heck can judge that smacking your wife around is a big fat honkin' no-no for any man who claims to be a Christian, much less a "Bishop." And when church members do not stand up and demand decent behavior from their leaders, it makes us all look like cretins and gives cover to ignorant people who think that the Bible actually endorses that kind of behavior.

Aggghhhh. I want to throw something.

And now I'm appalled by Fox News' commercials, too

2007-08-02T11:32:00.000-05:00

I am, admittedly, tuning in to Fox News via XM Radio to catch up on the horrible bridge collapse in Minnesota. Call me a rubbernecker.

I'm glad that my handy-dandy pink Pioneer Inno displays the name of the programming, including when the program switches to commercials. I can mute it when they're yammering about ordering Viagra and Cialis online.

Sheesh. It's like listening to spam.

Hostage Watch: Apparently, Amnesty International doesn't give a damn

2007-07-31T06:57:00.000-05:00

The Associated Press is reporting this morning:

Afghan Police Find Body of Second South Korean Hostage

Out of curiosity, I checked Amnesty International's Web site to see what they had to say about the detention, mistreatment and summary execution of now TWO South Korean Christian workers:

::: crickets chirping :::

Oh. Hm. Nothing on the home page. I searched their site for the keywords "south korean hostages." I got four hits and keyword-searched each of them. I did discover that the U.S., apparently, is "denying human dignity" in the war on terror. Read all about it here. But the South Koreans in Afghanistan? I guess they're at a Talibani resort or something and the two found dead were just oopsies.

News -- Not News

2007-07-25T12:45:00.000-05:00

What is "news." A primer.

News:

NOT News:

Any questions?

HOSTAGE WATCH: Update: Oh, shit.

2007-07-24T21:44:00.000-05:00

This is Bae Ho-jung, father of South Korean pastor Bae Hyeong-gyu, who is reported to have been murdered by the Taliban. (AP photo) Our prayers are with you, brother.

UPDATE: 12:43 p.m. Central: It's been reported that the murdered pastor may have died of illness. Whatever. Six of one ... you know the routine. If he was that sick, he should have been in a hospital instead of in whatever shithole the Taliban stuck him in.

Barbarians.

UPDATE: July 25, 11:17 a.m. Central.

Michelle Malkin is on the case and reports that the body of a South Korean riddled with bullet holes has been found in Afghanistan.

I'm sick now.

Oh, NOW Fox News has the story on its homepage. Gee. Thanks, guys.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Posted yesterday:

The GGB is just now recovering from a pretty nutso three months of newlywed life. (See my July 4 post for all the details.) I've been fasting somewhat from news and blogs because, well, I'm sick of reading about another bombing in Baghdad, and the only good thing about Lindsay Lohan's substance abuse problems is she's bumped Paris Hilton's orange-glo mug off the screen.

And then I read about this.

I just sent Fox News a snippy e-mail because THEY of ALL PEOPLE should at least have a MENTION of this on their homepage. But no. Alongside some legit headlines about global politics and Fred Thompson's campaign, we have these supermarket tabloid-worthy headlines:

"Live Well With Low IQ, No-Brainer"
"Man Has 33-Pound Tumor Removed From Face"
"Kim Jong-Il's Favorite Magician Injured in Risky Trick"

For the love of God and all that is holy, WAKE UP, PEOPLE! Good Lord Almighty, will you stop with the idiotic TRIVIA and stupid celebrity tricks and missing-pretty-woman dramas and start reporting the @#$%^% NEWS!!!!!!!!

When I need useless fluff, I'll watch WE TV or the Style Network. But when I turn on the news, I want frickin' NEWS! N-E-W-S!!!!

A dispatch from the other side of the altar

2007-07-04T11:08:00.000-05:00

@#$%^&

Dad gummit.

No, I love marriage -- seriously -- it's just the upgrade in Blogger that's locked me out of my account for months and made me a little frustrated.

Okay ... where was I? Oh, yes ... marriage!!

At this moment, hubby and I are lounging in our brand-new, king-size Tempur Pedic bed (top of the line, mind you), with blankets and a duvet made of yards of the stuff that feels like plush teddy bears. We're in our PJs, Rich is reading Harry Potter and I am, well, blogging. Obviously. He's made us both coffee, and we're enjoying a rare quiet morning, punctuated by the cats walking across our laps and the occasional goofy-eyed glance.

Wedded bliss at its finest. THIS is what I'd hoped marriage would be like.

On the other hand, if you've been reading Rich's blog, you'll know that we've had a little drama in our world. That "in sickness and in health" clause kicked in way earlier than I expected when Rich was hit nearly head-on and totaled his Altima four days after we got home from Jamaica. It wasn't his fault and he had no permanent bodily damage, but he had some of the most horrifying bruises I've ever seen on a human being.

Since then, we've had the final move of my junk to the house. (Rich says that the garage looks like the final scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark.) One of our dogs required emergency surgery and had a return trip to the vet this past weekend. My sister got pregnant (minor miracle). Then she miscarried (major heartbreak).

And I still love married life!

Rich and I have had each other to lean on and trust in during this cluster of minor trials. After viewing the aftermath of Rich vs. Shelby County patrol car (yes -- a cop hit him), I am grateful to God to have a husband to come home to. The cats and dogs are getting along, and the house -- though disorganized and far from complete in its transition -- is looking more and more like a home rather than a bachelor pad.

And it's peaceful. Especially this morning.

Happy Fourth of July, everyone.

Fatwa'ed: Imam sez you can't be nekkid during sex with your spousal unit

2007-04-12T15:48:00.000-05:00

Good thing I'm not Muslim:

Leading Islamic Cleric: Nudity During Sex Annuls Marriage (Hat tip: LGF)

But if I were Muslim, this would lead to some interesting questions: Can I wear a hat? How about stillettos? Two Band-Aids and dental floss?

One LGF commenter wondered if there was an online database for fatwas -- they're getting so hard to keep up with. Is there an official Fatwa Report? How about an RSS feed? Perhaps you can sign up for e-mail fatwa alerts to get your fresh fatwas every morning.

Can I issue a fatwa? Do I have to be Muslim? Do I have to fill out an application or something? I've been wanting to issue a fatwa against telemarketers. And Michael Bolton.

Texas hospital wants to "pull the plug" on infant -- against parents' wishes

2007-04-10T13:19:00.000-05:00

I'm so mad about this story, I don't think I'm capable of writing coherently right now. I'll let you get the details:

Texas Law Could Force Infant's Life Support to Be Pulled

Suffice it to say that I think hospital "officials" have no business making end-of-life judgments over and above the wishes of parents. God help us all.

Wife beating and other unintended consequences of relativism

2007-03-24T23:13:00.000-05:00

In Germany, now that everyone's belief system is equally good and equally valid, the German justice system has paved the way for at least one Muslim to preserve a time-honored tradition: wife beating.

German Judge Says Woman Can’t Get Divorce, Men Have Right To Beat Their Women

Yes, you read that correctly. (Hat tip to Say Anything via Hot Air.)

But hey, as long one religion is just as good as another, what's the big deal? You have your truth, I have my truth, right? If there are no universal moral truths, then Moroccan Muslim men should be allowed to beat their wives because that's what their religious faith requires (or so some say).

If you're like me and believe this line of thinking is garbage, you might enjoy this:

"Relativism Self Destructs" by Greg Koukl of Stand to Reason.

If this were 30 A.D., all my guests would be Mary

2007-03-20T16:45:00.000-05:00

You know that "coincidence" of names on the ossuaries featured in the Jesus Tomb documentary? I thought of that as I was making the guest list for my upcoming bachelorette party:

- Four of the 20 women -- including myself -- are "Amy" or "Aimee." That's 20 percent. (One of the Amys is Rich's brother's wife. Ha!)
- Two of the 20 women are named Lisa -- 10 percent.
- Two of the 20 are named Vanessa -- 10 percent.
- We have a Jenna and a Jennefer. Close enough -- we'll call that 10 percent.
- We have a Meg and a Meagan. Ditto -- another 10 percent.

In other words, only eight women have "unique" names, and believe me, they're not names like "Esmerelda" or "Rainbow Moonbeam."

Apparently, all generations have a dearth of uniquely-named people, which is why no one should get their skivvies bunched up over the so-called Jesus Tomb.

Fox News: Procter & Gamble Wins 'Satanism' Lawsuit

2007-03-20T12:12:00.000-05:00

From a cursory glance at this article, it looks like P&G might have been a little heavy-handed in going after Amway. However, I am constantly embarrassed at how so many of my fellow Christians buy into garbage such as the "Satanic" meanings of the P&G logo. That rumor has persisted for years. I hope that this victory will make people think twice before slandering people "in the name of Christ."

A blatantly ad hominem rant

2007-03-13T12:06:00.000-05:00

From a Fox news article, "DePauw University Severs Ties With Troubled Delta Zeta Sorority."

"DePauw University's president ordered the Delta Zeta sorority Monday to leave its campus by September in response to a mass eviction of members that sparked allegations that only attractive, popular students were asked to remain." [emphasis mine]

Ah hah.

The article said that DZ " ... long had a reputation of being academically oriented rather than having conventional beauty or partying." The article also said they were referred to on campus as "the dog house."

Warning: Cranky diatribe ahead.

If you want to be "Greek" you have to pretend you have an IQ of 20, drink a lot, sleep around and act like you're better than everyone else. Unless you went to my alma mater (a Baptist college), in which case you can get away with more smarts and you hide your drinking and carousing, but the better-than-everyone-else-part still applies.

I'm cranky today, can you tell?

For those of you out there who are/were Greek and are perfectly fine human beings, my deepest apologies. I know you exist and you don't deserve to be smeared. Understand, I was disinclined toward being Greek before I even got to college by my mother. She quit Phi Mu (at the same Baptist college) because they shunned a perfectly precious and sweet girl because she had scars from polio. Later, not one of her sorority "sisters" showed up for her bridal tea.

Once I got on campus myself, I had only more and more reasons not to pay good money to have a bunch of country club princesses tell me if I was good enough to hang out with them and tell me who my friends could be. I bristled at how the "social Greeks" insulted the guys of Alpha Phi Omega, the "service" fraternity. The Greeks said the A Phi O's were "not good enough" for the social Greeks. I say they were too cool for school.

And in my 15 years since I graduated, I've met a few people who never let go of their inner Greek and continue to be bratty to anyone who is more than one standard deviation away from Mountain Brook. (If you are from Birmingham, you know of which I speak. Again, my deepest apologies to the decent Brookies.)

Okay, rant over.

Marcotte stays on with Edwards; Satan flummoxed

2007-02-08T16:26:00.000-06:00

No doubt you’ve heard about the saga of liberal blogger Amanda Marcotte being hired by candidate John Edwards to manage his campaign blog.

Amanda Marcotte’s writing style varies in tone from the incendiary to the downright Hiroshimian. She has an elegant style and vocabulary no doubt inspired by sundry hip hop artists, comment threads on pornographic forums, and Bradley Dingledorf, the pimply, smelly guy who scrawled graffiti on her seventh-grade locker.

Behold this gem of literary fortitude:

“Q: What if Mary had taken Plan B after the Lord filled her with his hot, white, sticky Holy Spirit?

A: You’d have to justify your misogyny with another ancient mythology.”

Convinced that Marcott’s treatise on The Third Person of the Trinity as Human Spermatozoa was merely misunderstood, nuanced satire rather than adolescent brain spew, Edwards said this, defending his decision to retain Marcotte:

“I've talked to Amanda and Melissa; they have both assured me that it was never their intention to malign anyone's faith, and I take them at their word.”

Indeed, rumor has it that the Maligning Bar has been set so high, Satan himself is having a hard time clearing it.

UPDATE: Just for the record, I could care less if John Edwards keeps Marcotte on or not. The fact that her reputation is blighted by vulgarity on a cosmic scale is his misfortune and none of my own. As vile as I think her comments are, I'd rather her come right out and say "f*** you!" than insult my intelligence by feigning innocence about her intentions. Plus, I wouldn't vote for Edwards anyway, but I'd rather the electorate see whose company he's keeping.

Headline of the day

2007-02-06T15:26:00.000-06:00

Turn your radio on, and listen to the t'storms in the air ...

2007-02-03T16:15:00.000-06:00

In the wake of 20 tornado deaths in Florida, the folks at my favorite weather blog -- the ABC 33/40 Weather Blog -- have issued another rant on the importance of weather radios.

I second that emotion.

Unfortunately, the "let the government take care of you" mentality has overridden common sense for a few people to the point that they'd rather get swept away like Dorothy than plunk down $20 for a basic weather radio. Scroll down to the first comment on that post and you'll see what I mean.

Granted, I'm a weather geek. I've gone through storm spotter training. I want my own wireless home weather station. But geekitude is not required for basic human survival.

Sometimes, people do all the right things and still get killed by tornadoes. In 1998, an F5 -- the most powerful type of tornado -- hit west of here and killed more than 30 people. A few were simply at ground zero and could have survived only if they'd had a basement or storm shelter. They did everything right and got into the most protected area of their homes, but the storm was too powerful.

But when I read about people in trailer parks getting killed, I want to scream. No one should EVER be in a mobile home during a tornado warning. NEVER EVER EVER. Drive to a gas station and hunker down in their bathroom. Go to a neighbor's house. Heck, crawling into a ditch is preferable to remaining in your own flying coffin.

Sad.

I want my pink back

2007-01-29T13:57:00.000-06:00

Eve Ensler and fellow Code Pinkers protested this weekend against the war and the "surge," which Ensler likened to something that ... ahem ... happens to teenage boys in the middle of the night. She invoked images of things "swelling" and "rising" and "lasting just a minute."

OKAY, Eve, we get the picture.

Ensler has managed to completely invert the ideals of the women's movement. I thought women struggled to be recognized for their brains. You know, we're substantive, thoughtful, more than just the sum of our womanly parts.

Now, Ensler and the other Pinkers flounce around in ridiculous outfits, screeching, snickering about genitalia, and holding signs with insightful commentary such as "Augmentation is for Boobs."

And for Pete's sake, enough with the pink. Pink is a perfectly wonderful color, and I want it back.

Spare the rod, spoil the plane ride

2007-01-23T14:08:00.000-06:00

AirTran had to boot a couple and their out-of-control kid off a plane because they were delaying takeoff. The 3-year-old refused to sit in her seat and was "climbing under the seat and hitting the parents."

Hitting the parents.

I've blogged before about my frustration with bratty kids who think nothing of assaulting their own parents. The 16-year-old who bruises her mother, as I witnessed one woman talking about, I'm sure started out like the 3-year-old on this plane.

In a not-unrelated item, a California assemblywoman wants to ban spanking of children under 4. She said she hasn't figured out exactly how to define spanking for the purposes of this bill, but she was quoted as saying, "I think it's pretty hard to argue you need to beat a child," [Sally] Lieber said. "Is it OK to whip a 1-year-old or a 6-month-old or a newborn?"

"Whip." Oh, geez. No one is advocating taking a cat o' nine tails to a three-month old. Anything that would cause injury to a child (apart from a tender bottom) is already against the law. And certainly she knows that.

Liber then invokes the tired canard that spanking breeds societal violence. Does that not collide with common sense? How many of you were spanked as children? Okay, put your hands down. How many of you have committed a violent act? That's what I thought.

Note to self: Never move to California, and ride AirTran at the next possible opportunity.

Bits 'n' snips

2007-01-23T09:50:00.000-06:00

Hello, GGB readers! It's been a few days since I've posted, so I thought I'd update you all on my goings-on:

95 Days and Counting: The GGB's days as a single girl are numbered. When we were 200 days out, it felt like forever until the wedding. Now, my to-do list is expanding geometrically like a psychotic Mandelbrot set, and it's hard to keep up with my own thoughts. Luckily, my mother is retired and the noble and gallant Rich is not above taking over part of the checklist.

24 Hours of Terrorist-smacking Goodness: We had to see what all the fuss was about, so Rich and I downloaded the first four "hours" of 24 from iTunes and watched them Sunday evening. (What a great deal! Four hours of entertainment for $8, no commercials.) Caught last night's installment as well, and we're both recording the season on our respective media PCs.

I can see why the show is addictive. It's just a damn good show. A few nitpicks, though: The dialogue occasionally lapses into tired stump-speech clichés and sloganeering. And the twist about possible involvement of Jack's brother and father is just a wittle too convenient, IMHO.

I hope she can get the deposit on the caterer back

2007-01-19T09:59:00.000-06:00

Here's someone who's having a bad day: You're a judge in Memphis, and you discover that not only has your fiancé had sex with another woman, he is in jail because he paid said woman to have sex with her 8-year-old daughter.

Fiance of Memphis Judge Accused of Paying Woman for Sex With 8-Year-Old Daughter (Fox News)

If I were that woman, I don't know what I'd do, but I can think of a few possibilities ... Epilady his entire body followed by a nice sea salt scrub comes to mind.

Yuck.

'24' is da bomb

2007-01-18T18:53:00.000-06:00

Okay, I'll have to admit. I'm not a watcher of 24, but I am tickled at the ... cough ... bomb the season opener has detonated among the jabbering classes.

And this just in: Muslims protest reprised role as terrorists in Fox series '24'. (Hat tip: LGF) One person quoted in the article is concerned about reprisals against Muslims in the U.S.:

"Somewhere, some lunatic out there watching this will do something to an innocent American Muslim because he believes what he saw on TV."

I'm more concerned about the lunatics watching the beheadings on Al Jazeera, myself.

Too uncoordinated to be 'jocular'

2007-01-18T18:31:00.000-06:00

If you’ve ever seen Broadcast News, you know why on-air panache and writing chops often do not come in the same body. Katie Couric should take note.

Her Jan. 15 “blog” post about the dearth of female news anchors left me scratching my head. Describing a meeting regarding U.S. policy in Iraq between senior White House officials and prominent members of the news media, she wrote:

“I couldn’t help but notice, despite how far we’ve come, that I was still the only woman there.”

Uh, that should be, “I couldn’t help noticing,” Katie.

“Well, there was some female support staff near the door. But of the people at the table, the ‘principals’ in the meeting, I was the only one wearing a skirt. Everyone was gracious, though the jocular atmosphere was palpable.”

Okay, I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt. If she meant “jocular” as in people were making jokes, I don’t understand why she would contrast it with everyone being “gracious.” Doesn’t make sense. Perhaps she meant that everyone was being nice but she wasn’t in on “the joke,” whatever that was.

Others have speculated, though, that she used “jocular” as some sort of adjective wrenched from “jock.” If so, God help us, she should be condemned to the fifth circle of Hell, where the only reading materials are Webster’s and the AP Style Manual.

“The feminist movement that began in the 1970’s helped women make tremendous strides …”

Wha? I thought the feminist movement began in the 1800s. But what do I know? I’m just a dinky blogger from Alabama.

“That meeting was a reality check for me—and not just about Iraq. It was a reminder that all of us still have an obligation to ask: Don’t more women deserve a place at the table too?”

You deserve a place at the table only if you’re qualified and prepared, Katie – not simply because you’re filling a quota. But far be it from me to suggest that a news anchor from a major network should possess basic English skills and a knowledge of history.

Rush Limbaugh has commentary here. Ian at Hot Air opines here.

Unfortunately, this does not surprise me

2007-01-05T11:54:00.000-06:00

Natalee Holloway's Stepfather Seeks Divorce (Fox News)

Me and Kevin Bacon

2007-01-05T11:14:00.000-06:00

The GGB is at home with a cold. Slightly bored. Mindlessly 'Net surfing. And I wonder: How many degrees of separation are there between me and Kevin Bacon? Let's see.

Me
> college acquaintance Lissa
> Michael Keaton (Lissa used to babysit for Keaton when she lived in California)
> Jack Nicholson (starred in Batman w/Keaton)
> Kevin Bacon (starred in A Few Good Men w/Nicholson)

That was easy.

My buddy Kevin.

Comedy -- Persian style

2007-01-02T22:08:00.000-06:00

Is anyone really surprised that I'madinnerjacket has stinky pits?

Demi Moore is starring in WHAT?

2007-01-02T16:59:00.000-06:00

Anyone notice the error in the NewsGator item below?

I'm sure Demi Moore fans everywhere will be lining up to see that one.

Laura Bush refuses to be poster child for skin cancer; press revolts

2006-12-20T11:28:00.000-06:00

The White House Press Corps has gone completely insane.

Witness Tony Snow's grilling about why Laura Bush's skin cancer removal was not immediately disclosed. (Secrecy in the Bush White House ... ooooh!)

Malkin has a great transcript here.

Mrs. Bush had a nickel-sized squamous cell lesion removed -- getting your wisdom teeth removed is more painful and invasive. However, once the press heard cancer, they immediately began demanding why Mrs. Bush wasn't doing public service announcements about the dangers of not wearing your sunblock. Apparently, we're all idiots and can't take care of ourselves unless Mizz Laura tells us to:

(White House Press Doofus) "What I'm saying is even though she may not be an elected official, she's a very public official and very well loved. And as someone who has two adolescents who don't like to listen to mother when she says, put on the sun screen, get out of the sun, she could potentially have a great influence on a lot of people's lives, especially young women."

AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! ::: pounds head on desk :::

Aren't you a little tired of celebrities and their diseases? I'm all for awareness-raising, but geez Louise, why do we demand that sick people parade themselves on Oprah and lecture the masses on going to the doctor regularly?

I wish Mrs. Bush godspeed ... and for the press to leave her the heck alone.

A little Christmas cheer

2006-12-13T13:12:00.000-06:00

Yikes! Another month has gone by since my last post. *tsk, tsk, tsk* Oh, so much to blog about. Jimmy Carter. Mahmoud Dinnerjacket. Britney Spears.

Well, maybe not Britney.

But in the spirit of the holiday, I will forego the usual political nattering and instead bring you this priceless clip from Mr. Bean, courtesy of Hot Air:

Merry Christmas, Mr. Bean
Enjoy.

Rangel, Kerry singing from same hymnal

2006-11-10T14:30:00.000-06:00

I blogged yesterday about Charlie Rangel's swipe at my neighbor, the great State of Mississippi. Rep. Chip Pickering (R) has demanded an apology and voiced what's on many Southerners' minds:

"I hope his remarks are not the kind of insults, slander and defamation that Mississippians will come to expect from the Democrat leadership in Washington, D.C.," he said.

Don't get your hopes up, Chip.

Rangel came back with this Kerry-esque response: "I certainly don't mean to offend anyone. I just love New York so much that I can't understand why everyone wouldn't want to live here."

Reminds me of Ray Nagin's insistence that "chocolate" meant "a drink made with white milk and dark chocolate."

This "I meant the exact opposite of what I said" act is getting old, but I don't think it's fooling many people. Personally, I say, keep handing them the microphones. Let's have the whole country hear more about what bigots they are. Yes, I said bigots. Smearing the troops or Southerners is just as bigoted as smearing African-Americans or homosexuals.

Dang, I'm getting cranky. Time for the weekend and some time out with Rich.

He never shoulda been there in the first place

2006-11-10T11:57:00.000-06:00

Note to Shakira: Would you like to write a check to Adrienne Shelly's widower and child to help compensate them after her brutal murder at the hands of an illegal immigrant?

Would you, by any chance, like to amend your statement at the Latin Grammys in support of "the recognition [illegals] deserve from the government"? I'm sorry ... exactly what sort of recognition did this piece of crap deserve?

Just asking.

(Hat tip: Michelle Malkin)

He ain't whistlin' Dixie

2006-11-09T14:20:00.000-06:00

Charlie Rangel takes a swipe at the South. From the New York Times (big surprise):

“It’s not just committees — our influence within the House Democratic caucus will grow enormously,” Mr. Rangel said in an interview. To that end, he sketched out an expansive federal agenda: Teaming up with Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg on gun control, passing new tax incentives for urban job programs, and redirecting federal money to New York in return for the outsize tax collections that the federal government makes here.

“Mississippi gets more than their fair share back in federal money, but who the hell wants to live in Mississippi?” Mr. Rangel said.

I thought the Dems were all about helping poor people, and there are more poor people in Mississippi than in New York, right? So, why the griping, Charlie?

But I, frankly, am glad that Mr. Rangel doesn't live in Mississippi or anywhere else near me. He's a doofus. Ted Nugent nailed him on Hannity & Colmes a few years ago on the subject of gun control. Nugent pointedly asked what he'd do if someone were breaking into his house and threatening his family. Rangel said, "Call 911." Nugent laughed and said, "Good luck."

Yeah, that's the problem with you gun-control nuts: By the time you have to call 911, it's often too late.

For example, on 9/11.

(Hat tip: Michelle Malkin)

OMG

2006-11-07T16:38:00.000-06:00

Y'all, I am so bummed.

Terrorism. Illegal immigration. John Kerry's frightening mug. It's all just trivia now because of the horrors of Brit and K-Fred breaking up.

Who could have seen this one coming? I mean, what a great couple. Just the perfect couple. And Brit is the one doing the leaving. Is she crazy? What's not to love about this guy?

I'll be okay, y'all. Just give me a little while.

::: sniff :::

Aw ... say it isn't so

2006-11-03T11:38:00.000-06:00

I like Shakira. I really, really like Shakira. As one of the few contemporary singers I bother to keep up with on occasion, she saves me from being a complete old-timer permanently stuck in Retroville.

And now she's done it. Dangit. According to Fox News:

"She threw her support to those trying to become citizens as they work without documentation. 'I hope soon they will receive they recognition they deserve from the government,' the Colombian superstar said."

Shakira, girlfriend, please ... "the recognition they deserve"? They deserve??

By the way, I don't know where this "trying to become citizens" business comes from. Between the Mechistas claiming that the southwestern U.S. belongs to them anyway and the revolving door at the border, I don't see a whole lot of investment in the idea of U.S. citizenship.

First George, and now Shakira. Oh, this makes my head hurt.

Reason #376 why I like living in Alabama

2006-11-03T11:31:00.000-06:00

Okay ... we're certainly not the only state in the Union with deciduous trees, but check out these photographs at one of my favorite weather sites:

ABC 33/40 Weather Blog: Fayette County, Alabama

Scenes like these almost make me weep. I'm not joking. And they're everywhere in the richly forested central and northern Alabama. A gift from the Almighty, if you ask me.

South Park disses Darwin

2006-11-02T09:52:00.000-06:00

BWWAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

Before you click -- this is definitely PG-13. (Hat tip: Hot Air)

QotD

2006-11-01T21:06:00.000-06:00

"Big government is a national security threat: it increases your vulnerability to threats like Islamism, and makes it less likely you'll be able to summon the will to rebuff it. We should have learned that lesson on Sept. 11, 2001, when big government flopped big-time and the only good news of the day came from the ad hoc citizen militia of Flight 93."

-- Mark Steyn in America Alone

John Kerry takes another wrong turn into Cluelessville

2006-10-31T11:22:00.000-06:00

Did ya hear the one about John Kerry making a fool of himself? I know, I know ... which one?

Michelle Malkin has an excellent roundup of Kerry's smearing the troops as dumb and uneducated. I won't repeat here. Read it and breathe a sigh of relief that he is not the commander in chief.

UPDATE: Kerry should have ordered some cheese with this whine.

MY PREDICTION: Watch for Hillary to distance herself and maybe even outright criticize Kerry in order to position herself as being more pro-military than she actually is.

UPDATE II: Ha!! What did I tell you. (Granted, a little tepid, but I knew she wouldn't defend him.)